so, i sez to the doc

Dearest Mama,
A week ago Wednesday, the railroad ties were removed from my traintrack. No one had said anything to me about any anesthesia and the procedure was to be done in the doctor's office. As a preemptive measure, I took an 800 mg ibuprofen, just to dull the edges of any forthcoming pain.
As I was lying on the table, the doc told me the staples were definitely ready to be taken off. My body was hard at work rejecting them, pushing with all the strength the surrounding cells could muster. I told him I was regarding the site as my personal Polar Express traintrack. He paused and looked at me and said he had never heard anyone refer to it as that, but he liked it because that story was one of his family's favorites. I told him it had been one of yours as well.
So, he starts removing hardware. And removes more, moving from one side of me to the other to get a better grip on some of them. I ask what will be done with the staples and he asks if I would like them. After the briefest pause, during which I wondered if he might think me mad, I replied "sure!" Then I mentioned that I had some nephews who might get a kick out of them, but really, truly... I wanted them for ME. I wanted to be able to hold them and count them and examine them, these bits of metal which had been protecting the sutured site beneath.
Eventually, the doc tells me that the last few might hurt a little. He was impressed that I had taken measures beforehand to minimize any pain. Then he set to work, freeing those just above the pubes. Sure enough, that DID hurt, but not overly so. When he asked me if I was okay with the pain, I told him the truth: it really wasn't that much different from plucking hairs from my chin. He looked at me to see if perhaps I was joking, saw that I wasn't, and told me he had never had a patient tell him that before, either. I thought it a good comparison to liken the staple removal to facial hair maintenance. It certainly made the whole procedure more tolerable and put it into the proper perspective. You know?
All in all, not a bad experience. I think this gyn doc (David Byck, who is also Susan's gyn) has a different impression of me now and I hope he might share it with his wife, who just happens to be MY general doc. She'll get a kick out of my revelations!
That's all for now. I just wanted to share that story with you before it dimmed from memory. I know how you always loved my stories!
miss you still and love you always

postscript: In case you wondered, there were fifty-seven bird-shaped staples removed. Those silver birds are now safely caged for display!