odds

I seem to be at odds today. I'm pretty sure it's because my schedule has been thrown out of whack from yesterday's day off.
Heck, for that matter, Wednesday was pretty much a wash for me, too. I had felt like it was Friday all day; even though I didn't have to go to work that day, I had gone briefly, then I kept my usual afternoon schedule for a Wednesday. But, no, not quite. I did have a dental appointment that afternoon, which made it Friday-ish again.
I need to have a schedule, during the daylight hours especially, to help me run on an even keel. Holidays tend to upset that schedule by encouraging me to alter my body clock, sleeping in later, staying up later. Today COULD have been a Sunday, but the only news program I watch (CBS Sunday Morning) was not on to begin my day. Ergo, this was NOT Sunday. Nor was it a Saturday, because surely that was yesterday... right? If the day before was, indeed, Friday?
I remember not having such difficulty keeping track of the days of the week when I was once a shift-worker. True, that was MANY years ago: in fact, about three decades ago. I was obviously much younger then and somehow didn't pay as much attention to the actual DAYS of the week. The schedule was 2-2-2-80 and encompassed the working of forty-eight hours (six eight-hour shifts) over a span of five days, then having eighty hours off (slightly more than three days). The eight-day schedule very much suited me, as I needed to rise early only for two days of evry eight. Better yet, I had a three-day "weekend" that rotated through the actual days, allowing me to have days off when the majority of folks were at work. That meant the beaches would be nigh deserted there in Panama and Okinawa and San Diego, allowing me to enjoy the ocean and sun and sand uninterrupted. Very nice!
So, today, on this extra Saturday-esque day, it was odd for me to feel off-kilter. In an effort to feel more "normal" and to acknowledge this period of time to be a Friday, I even worked for a while today, spending several hours completing the grading of the last of the lab reports. (Yeah!) Then I went to a movie, as I tend to do sometimes on a Friday afternoon. But I had no plans for later this evening... which made me question whether this was indeed a Friday. Sigh. Back to square one again.
Perhaps tomorrow will set me straight again. We shall see. I do hope so.

need for knowledge

In the interest of taking a step toward a better, more informed world, I donated. I encourage you to do the same.
Unbiased, ad-free sources of information are invaluable and much needed. We the people of the world and the internet are besieged by a constant onslaught of skewed "news" which reports only those items which will sell commercials to enrich the media source.
Not so with Wikipedia, shining its light of truth on a myriad of topics. No advertising, no pop-ups, just the facts, ma'am. I do so appreciate that.

thanks, e.e.

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

- e.e. cummings

The first verse is my signature line for my emails and has been for years. Sometimes, you may even spot me walking along and speaking the words, or almost singing them from my open car window.
Try it some time.

filling the holes

This afternoon, I had two cavities filled by the gentle hands of Dr. Julie, my new dentist. When I finally went to the dentist, after a hiatus of at least seven years (long story for another time), I was quite concerned by what might have gone wrong in the ensuing period since I last had my teeth checked. To my relief, my teeth were mostly in good shape! My gums were fine (yeah!), I had one new cavity (boo!), and I had one filling and two crowns that weren't holding up to the task of grinding food into digestible bits.
Many little X-rays were taken, even pictures. The good doctor even showed all to me, so I could see the damage. Then my teeth were cleaned and I was counseled about the upcoming schedule and cost. Yeah for dental insurance! Not that the cost to me for the work itself is free, but it's about a quarter of the uninsured price.
Today was the first of the needed repairs. Two fillings, one for a new pit, the other to replace a broken bit of silver. The numbing shots were slowly administered, so nicely done that I had none of the pain I had recalled from my last time in a dentist's chair. Alrighty then! The work itself went at a quick pace and, in under an hour, I was done and gone. "No food or drink for at least an hour," were the parting words, "and then try to drink something warm."
Better than two hours later, I'm still partly numb. Perhaps I should have forewarned her that I have a low drug threshold. You better believe that I'll inform her of that very thing when I return the first of December for the initial crown work.
Tonight, I was out for a light-hearted Philippine action flick, featuring the diminutive (shorter than a yardstick) Weng Weng, at the local coffee house. My right jaw was aching slightly, so I had a cup of decaf java to sip. Sip I did, at first, then found the actual warm cup to be of more solace than the liquid it held. Eventually I was even able to relax and enjoy the movie. Nice to have that void filled, too!

fortune cookie

Ya gotta love fortune cookies. They say the damnedest things at the damnedest times, much like a three-year-old child. "A nice cake is waiting for you" is a prime example.
You think the message is garbled until subsequent events seem to prove the cookie right. I say "seem to" because the end can usually be made to fit the means, if you're a mind to do so.
Even so, sometimes I choose to lend credence to the words. For some times, I need to believe in a bit of positive in my corner. Some times are a bit rougher than others and warrant clutching at wisps of "yes" wherever they appear. This time of year can be especially cold and chill you to the bone, if you're not careful.
Most of the time, when I dine at my favorite source of massive quantities of fresh vegetables, cooked to order, I don't bother with a fortune cookie. Not that they are unavailable or hard to obtain. Oh, no. There's a jar full of them on the check-out counter, luring eyes and fingers. No, my reason for not grabbing one is this: I prefer to receive my fortunes as a random gift. If the waiter doesn't bring one with the bill, then I abstain.
My waitress this evening, a waitress I have had before, surprised me with the gift of a fortune cookie. I thanked her and decided to wait until I was home to break it open, as I was unusually full from dinner. Also, I felt the need to BE home, as I had been out all afternoon and most of the evening. So, I arrive home (the dash light working this time, so I could see my speedometer), enter my warm, lit house, and get settled in. The cookie had already crumbled in my pocket by the time I pulled it out, but the fortune was still nestled in the folds, avoiding my view. I open the wrapper, remove half the cookie and eat it as I am freeing the message.
"You will have many friends when you need them."
Nice! But how did the cookie know I had been wondering about such things?
Last night was one of those rare occasions when I felt that life was GOOD. I had gone downtown to hear Magic Rocks making rock music, as I had been invited to the gig. Ordinarily, I would have seen the 22:30 start time and opted out. This time was different, as if I were truly meant to be there. The weather had warmed such that I didn't really need a jacket, though I took one anyway. The traffic downtown was almost nonexistent; I effortlessly found parking close to where I thought I was going.
I ended up having a nice stroll whilst looking for the venue and arrived right after a large party had left, vacating several tables right in front of the band. Incredible. I had no sooner sat down than I was joined by a new friend, with word that others were on their way from a birthday celebration. Fabulous! And there we were with plenty of room for all! And the band was playing some of my favorite songs... and the waitress helped enact my request for a dance floor... and the others had arrived and we were all grooving to the music... And I realized how GOOD it felt to be surrounded by friends, beside me, behind me, in front of me, listening to great music and watching a ship pass by in the windows behind the band as they rocked out.
I spend a lot of time alone. That isn't unusual for me and, quite truly, that's the way it has been for much of my life. "Alone" doesn't mean "lonely". I have found that "lonely" can, and does, occur when others are present. But last night, I had gone out alone, but not lonely, and had been in the right place for friends to find me and join me.
I think I need to keep doing that.