ggbd 2011

i can’t believe this day slipped up on me. i have been SO trapped by my parental units’ game-playing that one of the most important days of THE YEAR started without me even acknowledging it. How did that happen???
i know what you’re thinking, how unlike me to be getting so worked up, right? Cool, detached, THAT is more like ME. But here i am USING CAPS and far too many exclamation points!!! That is so wrong and yet i cannot stop doing it. Maybe my mom is right and I’m hormonal. Do goth girls even HAVE hormones???
Cripes. Shite. Fourteen is a very strange number. As two weeks it’s somewhat workable, but as an age it’s … it’s… idk, just not quite as dark as it should be, yk? i’ve talked to my grandmother – yeah, like THAT wasn’t an odd thing to do, but she was here and mom wasn’t, yet again. Speaking of people who weren’t here, my paternal parent came back over the ocean and DIDN”T EVEN COME HOME. Why, did i scare him away? Is that why he and my mom may get d-i-v-o-r-c-e-d, because of me and my dark hair and dark nails and dark clothes?? i was told he has a woman in Texas that he's been staying with for two weeks. i'm trying to stay detached, but it's more like numb.
Life has just become too complex lately. Why can’t i have it like it was this time last year? i didn’t even get to go to Dragon*Con last year and that was totally wrong. My mom’s BFF was like trying to be funny and she said “well, if Alan Ruck won’t be there, then I think I’ll not go, either”. For real, she said that. Ever since he touched her hand in 2009 I think she’s had a little crush on him. For REAL. Shouldn't people stop having crushes when they reach a certain age, like, idk, 25 or something?
Anyway, since she wouldn’t be coming, we didn’t go. i think my dad was in Texas then, too. Just wrong. So for Labor Day weekend, i wore extra heavy eyeliner and black lipstick and dressed up like the punk goth schoolgirl i am ANYWAY. For the whole three days. Around the house it really didn’t even raise an eyebrow, but that was fine. i went to MY BFF’s house and we looked at the pictures from 2008’s Dragon*Con. My stupid older brother and me went for the first time that year, with my mom’s BFF and her friend Sam Johnson. He wasn’t able to walk, so he had a scooter, and that was pretty cool. He had been to LOTS of Dragon*Cons and was a lot of fun! But he’s dead now and i don’t know if Dragon*Con is even worth it to me without him. YK?