phantom cramps

Have you heard the stories of people having itches on limbs which have been amputated? Get this: I've been having menstrual cramps, though the ovaries, uterus, cervix and all have been removed since the Polar Express took their place on December 13.
I didn't pay any attention until February. I had a random pain on my lower right side, in January, but it didn't last but part of a day and I figured I had just moved wrong. Then, in February, I had another random pain, low in the abdomen, on the left side this time. And THAT is when I realized what was happening: my mind was letting me know "all was well" by continuing my alternating menstrual cramps.
You see, that truly was my "all is well" sign. It meant I was not pregnant, I was safe from having to take care of a human being who would be totally dependent on me. Even after I had the tubal ligation, I still awaited that "all clear" signal, that little lower body ache and subsequent flow of blood from a thankfully empty uterus.
In the last decade or so, I had become very aware of my ovulation pattern. One month belonged to the right ovary, with a heavy period after about two weeks. The next month, the left ovary had its turn, granting a lesser menses to me. Back and forth, one then the other, coinciding with the first quarter of the moon to grace me with peace of mind. Even more than two decades after my tubal ligation, I gave a little sigh of relief mentally each month.
And, oddly, I find myself still awaiting that signal from my body. Thank God my brain cooperates with my continued need of that security. Perhaps, as time passes, I'll one day realize that my phantom pain is no more, one less invisible tree.