boundaries

I have an issue with boundaries. I'm not talking about fences, or lines in the sand, or legal limits. No. Personal boundaries. Not mine, but those belonging to others.
I just have a little problem with coming off, sometimes, as a stalker. I don't intend to do so, it just happens, and it's been doing so for almost five years now. One of my best friends here pointed it out to me when I was in her face ALL THE TIME; she had the presence of mind to confront me about it. These days, I can usually catch myself doing it early on, and put a stop to it before the other person calls me on it.
Believe it or not, I'm shy by nature, except with those I know and love, those who know and love me. I'm most comfortable in a group or alone these days. My tendency is to do things solo, as it seems to take far too much effort most times to find someone who is willing and able to go out and about with very little notice or planning.
Once in a while, though, someone will pop up on my sensors. Something I hear or read will cause me to suddenly truly notice someone and I'll invite them to an event hosted by one of my groups, something safe. Then, next thing you know, I'm up in their grille constantly. Not physically, of course. Facebook and emails, mostly, as those are fairly non-confrontational avenues of communication. I can sense that I'm overloading their circuits, but I cannot seem to back off.
My hope is this: bringing the problem to my beach and tossing it out to sea will alleviate my sense of craziness. Maybe?