Tomorrow is the first day of my New Year. My resolution is to accept more challenges, take more risks, step out of my comfort zone. No, I'm not planning to take up skydiving! After all, my mother taught me NOT to jump out of perfectly good airplanes.
I want to audition for a theatrical production. I had been invited to try out for "Psycho Beach Party," but I had too much else going on, I said. I was invited to bring some music and go for a role in "Urinetown" - but I went to the Sand Gnats' game instead. Well, the third time is the charm, as they say. I'll keep my eyes open for that next show, maybe even a musical. After all, I'm not putting in my karaoke time anymore and I miss singing in front of a crowd. (Knowing how shy I once was, and still can be, I can hardly believe I even said that!)
I'm entering a writing challenge sponsored by an Australian group, http://www.kiwiwriters.org/my/challenge/site/socnoc-2009.html . In fact, I just noticed: it's already tomorrow - 3:55pm, too - in that part of the world. Happy birthday to me! And soon enough it'll be my birthday here on my side of the world. The challenge is to write a 50, 000-word novel in thirty days, from June 1 to June 30. I've read plenty of novels over my lifetime, even occasionally fancying that I could write such a thing. Well, it's out of the daydream and into reality with YOU, my dearie! I have this weekend to try to come up with an idea and maybe some characters and already my head is churning. Hopefully, the writing will progress at a MUCH faster pace than my blog has! I'm excited!!!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Changes
Do you smell that? Change is in the air. No, I'm not talking about the President's plans to take the country back into the hands of ALL people. I'm talking about change in my life. Not change forced on me by the decisions of others, but changes I choose for myself. I've been working towards this for the past two years, incorporating more change into my lifestyle, into my nightlife, into my interests, even branching out into new areas.
When I was younger, there was a lot of change going on in my world. We moved every few years, almost always to a smaller house, then to an apartment. These changes were always linked to my parents' finances. Each new neighborhood meant new schools as well, new people to know. I was pretty introverted as a kid, so these changes kept me close to family and enhanced my love of reading. I could always escape the world through my imagination, step into a new world not yet explored by me. In that respect, change was good. Change made me more conscious of the small size of my known world compared to the vast universe surrounding me.
My family's final move in 1969 was back to a house, back near the old neighborhood we first lived in when we had moved from Augusta to Savannah. I was reunited in middle school with some of the friends I'd made in elementary school, but they didn't live in my neighborhood, so I was still relegated to hanging out with my brothers and their friends. This was before the days of parents ferrying the kids to wherever, whenever. If we wanted to get together with our friends, we walked or rode our bikes to their houses. Period. I did eventually make a new friend with a girl whose dad was in the military, but I lost track of her a year later when her folks moved to Germany. So, I played cops and robbers, and pirates, and baseball. Oh, and I did a lot of babysitting, being one of the few girls in the area.
Finally, in high school, I was reunited with my best friend from grade school. What a very good change! We spent lots of time aways from home, riding our bikes all around, going to the science museum, exploring the surrounding neighborhoods. On Saturdays, we'd take the bus to the new Oglethorpe Mall for window shopping and Der Weinerschnitzel and Chick-Fil-A. Sometimes, we'd take the bus downtown and wander around the houses there, lunching at Tanner's or Krystal's or even The Pink House (if her dad was able to join us, so he could pay).
She was boy-crazy sooner than I was, probably because she only had the one brother, whereas I had three. Plus, I had grown up playing with boys who were all younger than me, so the thought of "dating" just didn't cross my mind. My first date, in tenth grade, was with her brother. She had wanted to go out with this older guy (already 18!) and her folks wouldn't let her unless it was a double-date. So, that's how I discovered boys were for more than tagging out at first. When I became part of the STERI (Student Teacher Environmental Research Interaction) program my junior year, I met plenty of boys who went to the boys' military school in town and had dates for the next two years and PLENTY of dances.
I also had a pen pal in Holland and that really opened my eyes to life in other parts of the world. After years of reading about life in other countries, I was ready to find out for myself. So, in March of my senior year of high school, I enlisted in the U.S. Navy for six years. I went active duty in December of that year.
Wherever the Navy sent me, no problem! I welcomed the chance to learn of new cultures, new languages, new geographies. I used the opportunity to make new friends, quickly, because I knew I wouldn't be at that duty station for long, 18 months to two years, tops. Adapt to the new environment, the new people, the new regime. This is not to say that I made lots of new friends, oh, no. I have always had only a few friends, people who I held dear then and still do, even though I have not seen many of them for decades now. But I knew a lot of people, whether fellow sailors or thespians or dancers or partakers of USO-sponsored events. Change was definitely good. Change kept life fresh.
And now, time has come for a change or two or more. A new tide to sweep my beach clean, taking away things no longer needed, revealing new treasures. My friend Sam foresaw things to come back in April, saying that I would soon enough be leaving Savannah, going on to new adventures. Bonnie saw change coming last Saturday, saying how good it was that I had come back to Savannah after traveling the world, but that maybe now was the time for new places, new beaches, new memories to be made.
Yep, I can definitely smell it in the air, like the cool freshness following a thunderstorm. Change. Not tomorrow, not next month, but soon.
When I was younger, there was a lot of change going on in my world. We moved every few years, almost always to a smaller house, then to an apartment. These changes were always linked to my parents' finances. Each new neighborhood meant new schools as well, new people to know. I was pretty introverted as a kid, so these changes kept me close to family and enhanced my love of reading. I could always escape the world through my imagination, step into a new world not yet explored by me. In that respect, change was good. Change made me more conscious of the small size of my known world compared to the vast universe surrounding me.
My family's final move in 1969 was back to a house, back near the old neighborhood we first lived in when we had moved from Augusta to Savannah. I was reunited in middle school with some of the friends I'd made in elementary school, but they didn't live in my neighborhood, so I was still relegated to hanging out with my brothers and their friends. This was before the days of parents ferrying the kids to wherever, whenever. If we wanted to get together with our friends, we walked or rode our bikes to their houses. Period. I did eventually make a new friend with a girl whose dad was in the military, but I lost track of her a year later when her folks moved to Germany. So, I played cops and robbers, and pirates, and baseball. Oh, and I did a lot of babysitting, being one of the few girls in the area.
Finally, in high school, I was reunited with my best friend from grade school. What a very good change! We spent lots of time aways from home, riding our bikes all around, going to the science museum, exploring the surrounding neighborhoods. On Saturdays, we'd take the bus to the new Oglethorpe Mall for window shopping and Der Weinerschnitzel and Chick-Fil-A. Sometimes, we'd take the bus downtown and wander around the houses there, lunching at Tanner's or Krystal's or even The Pink House (if her dad was able to join us, so he could pay).
She was boy-crazy sooner than I was, probably because she only had the one brother, whereas I had three. Plus, I had grown up playing with boys who were all younger than me, so the thought of "dating" just didn't cross my mind. My first date, in tenth grade, was with her brother. She had wanted to go out with this older guy (already 18!) and her folks wouldn't let her unless it was a double-date. So, that's how I discovered boys were for more than tagging out at first. When I became part of the STERI (Student Teacher Environmental Research Interaction) program my junior year, I met plenty of boys who went to the boys' military school in town and had dates for the next two years and PLENTY of dances.
I also had a pen pal in Holland and that really opened my eyes to life in other parts of the world. After years of reading about life in other countries, I was ready to find out for myself. So, in March of my senior year of high school, I enlisted in the U.S. Navy for six years. I went active duty in December of that year.
Wherever the Navy sent me, no problem! I welcomed the chance to learn of new cultures, new languages, new geographies. I used the opportunity to make new friends, quickly, because I knew I wouldn't be at that duty station for long, 18 months to two years, tops. Adapt to the new environment, the new people, the new regime. This is not to say that I made lots of new friends, oh, no. I have always had only a few friends, people who I held dear then and still do, even though I have not seen many of them for decades now. But I knew a lot of people, whether fellow sailors or thespians or dancers or partakers of USO-sponsored events. Change was definitely good. Change kept life fresh.
And now, time has come for a change or two or more. A new tide to sweep my beach clean, taking away things no longer needed, revealing new treasures. My friend Sam foresaw things to come back in April, saying that I would soon enough be leaving Savannah, going on to new adventures. Bonnie saw change coming last Saturday, saying how good it was that I had come back to Savannah after traveling the world, but that maybe now was the time for new places, new beaches, new memories to be made.
Yep, I can definitely smell it in the air, like the cool freshness following a thunderstorm. Change. Not tomorrow, not next month, but soon.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
dear mama
I've had a satiny Moody Blues tune rocking between my ears all day. "Letters I've written/Never meaning to send" the lyrics sing to me. Yet, I cannot think of a single time I've ever written a letter and did NOT post it. Whatever would be the point of such an exercise? Even blogging is sent out there for any and all, or none, to read. This writing is truly letters to myself, mostly, to help me put my life into proper perspective, to rage against the dying of the light, to revel in the new day.
Well, this new day was the ninth Mother's Day since my mother's death in 2001. It has come along, again, still, though I am ever so much better with it as time continues its march forward, ever forward, regardless of human events, be they celebratory or lamentable. I would very much like to have called Mama and told her of my day, but, as that is no longer an option, I'll write to her instead. Perhaps that shall suffice to solace my desire to communicate with her.
Dearest Mama,
What a wonderful day I've had! I really didn't do much this morning, just got the clothes sorted for laundry. I very nearly, several times, thought I would go ahead and do them... but that chore can wait for Monday, I do believe. After all, I don't usually have anything but school and my favorite tv shows scheduled for that evening. So there!
I had thought I might go to a movie, but I never really got motivated to do so. Truly, I pretty well spent the morning in front of the computer or filing things away. Amazing how quickly paperwork can pile up, given half a chance. The fellow who mows my front yard came by and did so, waiting until after 11am "in case I was sleeping in." The yard looks ever so much better, though the back is still a wreck, as it hasn't been mowed even once this year. I need to either get the lawn mower fixed or I need to buy a new one, because I really cannot keep paying to get the work done that I could be doing myself.
Anywho, I knew I had been invited to an early dinner with Deatre and John and the kids today, but I didn't know just when that was to be. Well, about the time the front yard (no, I can't dignify it with the word "lawn") was getting mowed, Deatre sent a picture of the kids to my cellphone. The time was then set at 5pm for the dinner at the Longhorn's in Pooler. Where it is allegedly cooler! hahaha! Where was I? Oh, yeah, not yet noon and I had time to do anything or nothing - so I spent a little more time on the computer, thinkin' 'bout this letter, but not quite ready to write it.
I finally decided to go ahead and get dressed in real clothes, rather than the stuff I was wearing. I knew I wanted to wear my pretty black skirt, you know the one I bought for the Mediterranean cruise years ago? Oh, wait, you were already gone for that, so I guess you wouldn't know. Anyway, it's a knee-length, lined, thin cotton number, with a pretty lace trim near the hemline. The top was one I had also bought for the trip: narrow horizontal black and white stripes, three-quarter sleeves, and a loose bow on the left end of the oval neckline. Together, the outfit is one of my girliest, and I always feel cute when I wear it. Especially with the little black leather flats I bought for dancing on New Year's Eve 2007!
So, there I was, all dressed up, nowhere to go... But, wait a minute!!! That's right, I had a concert to attend! Oh, Lord, what WAS I thinking??? The JEA was generously providing a free concert by the Savannah Arts Academy's Silver Winds Ensemble at 3pm... and it was almost time for it to start! Off I raced, getting there just in time for the beginning of the show, even managing to snag a seat. And what a wonderful concert it was! Dr. Hutchinson, the band director, is truly fabulous and we even, at one point, got to all say "Happy Mother's Day!" to his out-of-town mom. Lots of music I had never heard before and most likely will never hear again. Oh, except the one that was a medley of American folk songs, including "skip to my lou"! That was fun! The whole concert was fun, and I do believe that's the most relaxed I've ever seen Dr. H in all these years.
The show was right at 90 minutes, so I had to go ahead to Pooler straight off. I managed to find the Longhorn my first try (!) and even made it there ahead of the Denions (!!!), so I got us on the list and we waited. And waited. With an increasingly agitated 8-year-old and 4-year-old. For an hour. But the food was very good (I actually ordered a filet mignon, medium, and it was a choice bit of meat!), our waitress was pretty good at juggling, and I got to try something new: blackberry lemonade. Yum! Good food, great company! And when the bill came, they refused, adamantly, to let me pay for mine or even leave a tip. I even arm-wrestled John for it, with his weak arm (like THAT would make a difference!). The nearby table got a kick out of THAT, lemme tell ya. John and Deatre insisted that they had invited me, they wanted to pay to show me how special I was TO THEM. Wow. I told them how much it had meant to me for the kids to send me a "you've been like a mother to us" card, how very special they were TO ME.
You know, sometimes I forget I have such a loving extended family. Just because I don't have anyone in the house with me, I sometimes feel all alone, I need to remember that I am NEVER alone. Someone who knows me and loves me is as close as a phone call or a keystroke away. Even you are always just a thought away from me. Thank you for all your love, all these years, all of your support, even when you didn't believe in the path I had chosen. Especially when you didn't agree with my choices. I always knew that you loved me, no matter what I did, what I thought, where I went. Thank you for that.
Well, this new day was the ninth Mother's Day since my mother's death in 2001. It has come along, again, still, though I am ever so much better with it as time continues its march forward, ever forward, regardless of human events, be they celebratory or lamentable. I would very much like to have called Mama and told her of my day, but, as that is no longer an option, I'll write to her instead. Perhaps that shall suffice to solace my desire to communicate with her.
Dearest Mama,
What a wonderful day I've had! I really didn't do much this morning, just got the clothes sorted for laundry. I very nearly, several times, thought I would go ahead and do them... but that chore can wait for Monday, I do believe. After all, I don't usually have anything but school and my favorite tv shows scheduled for that evening. So there!
I had thought I might go to a movie, but I never really got motivated to do so. Truly, I pretty well spent the morning in front of the computer or filing things away. Amazing how quickly paperwork can pile up, given half a chance. The fellow who mows my front yard came by and did so, waiting until after 11am "in case I was sleeping in." The yard looks ever so much better, though the back is still a wreck, as it hasn't been mowed even once this year. I need to either get the lawn mower fixed or I need to buy a new one, because I really cannot keep paying to get the work done that I could be doing myself.
Anywho, I knew I had been invited to an early dinner with Deatre and John and the kids today, but I didn't know just when that was to be. Well, about the time the front yard (no, I can't dignify it with the word "lawn") was getting mowed, Deatre sent a picture of the kids to my cellphone. The time was then set at 5pm for the dinner at the Longhorn's in Pooler. Where it is allegedly cooler! hahaha! Where was I? Oh, yeah, not yet noon and I had time to do anything or nothing - so I spent a little more time on the computer, thinkin' 'bout this letter, but not quite ready to write it.
I finally decided to go ahead and get dressed in real clothes, rather than the stuff I was wearing. I knew I wanted to wear my pretty black skirt, you know the one I bought for the Mediterranean cruise years ago? Oh, wait, you were already gone for that, so I guess you wouldn't know. Anyway, it's a knee-length, lined, thin cotton number, with a pretty lace trim near the hemline. The top was one I had also bought for the trip: narrow horizontal black and white stripes, three-quarter sleeves, and a loose bow on the left end of the oval neckline. Together, the outfit is one of my girliest, and I always feel cute when I wear it. Especially with the little black leather flats I bought for dancing on New Year's Eve 2007!
So, there I was, all dressed up, nowhere to go... But, wait a minute!!! That's right, I had a concert to attend! Oh, Lord, what WAS I thinking??? The JEA was generously providing a free concert by the Savannah Arts Academy's Silver Winds Ensemble at 3pm... and it was almost time for it to start! Off I raced, getting there just in time for the beginning of the show, even managing to snag a seat. And what a wonderful concert it was! Dr. Hutchinson, the band director, is truly fabulous and we even, at one point, got to all say "Happy Mother's Day!" to his out-of-town mom. Lots of music I had never heard before and most likely will never hear again. Oh, except the one that was a medley of American folk songs, including "skip to my lou"! That was fun! The whole concert was fun, and I do believe that's the most relaxed I've ever seen Dr. H in all these years.
The show was right at 90 minutes, so I had to go ahead to Pooler straight off. I managed to find the Longhorn my first try (!) and even made it there ahead of the Denions (!!!), so I got us on the list and we waited. And waited. With an increasingly agitated 8-year-old and 4-year-old. For an hour. But the food was very good (I actually ordered a filet mignon, medium, and it was a choice bit of meat!), our waitress was pretty good at juggling, and I got to try something new: blackberry lemonade. Yum! Good food, great company! And when the bill came, they refused, adamantly, to let me pay for mine or even leave a tip. I even arm-wrestled John for it, with his weak arm (like THAT would make a difference!). The nearby table got a kick out of THAT, lemme tell ya. John and Deatre insisted that they had invited me, they wanted to pay to show me how special I was TO THEM. Wow. I told them how much it had meant to me for the kids to send me a "you've been like a mother to us" card, how very special they were TO ME.
You know, sometimes I forget I have such a loving extended family. Just because I don't have anyone in the house with me, I sometimes feel all alone, I need to remember that I am NEVER alone. Someone who knows me and loves me is as close as a phone call or a keystroke away. Even you are always just a thought away from me. Thank you for all your love, all these years, all of your support, even when you didn't believe in the path I had chosen. Especially when you didn't agree with my choices. I always knew that you loved me, no matter what I did, what I thought, where I went. Thank you for that.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Nice cake, redux
For three Sundays in a row, I have been in the presence of cake. Not just any cake, either. Can you guess? But of course, you already know what type of cake it is, else there would be no reason for this post. Pineapple upside-down cake. Say what? I haven't had so much of this one type of cake in my life EVER.
It all began in the wee hours of Sunday, April 19th. Steed's was closing and Sam had fetched from the cooler the leftovers set aside from the earlier cookout. Said leftovers included a right fair hunk of cake, pineapple upside-down cake. This cake was a high-rise affair, with pineapple slices and brown sugar glaze. Oh, yeah! Nice cake! None for me, though; it was Sam's fortune cookie reward.
The following Sunday, April 26th, I'm over in Beaufort, SC. Daddy had died around 5 AM and I had told Bonnie, his wife of 31 years, that I would be over in the afternoon to help with the obituary. All well and good: this death had been foretold in November and I had made the most of spending time with him and preparing for goodbye in the ensuing months. So, off I go to Beaufort, ending up at Bonnie's mom's house, where a feast is waiting to assuage our grief. What a feast indeed! Shrimp in gravy, fresh green beans with new potatoes, lovely collard greens, fried shrimp, all scrumptious. And for dessert? Pineapple upside-down cake, this one a much lower version, made with crushed pineapple instead of slices. Of course, I had a piece of this one, regaling all with the story of my dear friend's fortune cookie and cake.
Now, here it is Sunday again, though it's a May Sunday. It's a special Sunday at the church, the last sermon to be held in the sanctuary until the renovations have been completed. As it's been a while since I've darkened its doors, I decide to attend. Plus, it's First Sunday of the month, meaning there will be much food afterward and socializing. I arrive almost an hour late, but I still catch all of the sermon and still found a seat with friends. Good times. Then we're all in line for the buffet lavishly spread out for us: fried chicken, cold cuts for sandwiches, macaroni and cheese, cheese broccoli casserole, tabouli, and much, much more.
And on the dessert table? Chocolate cake, chocolate brownies, blondies, chocolate cookies, pound cake, pie, and.. wait for it! ... pineapple upside-down cake. Of course, I had a generous slice. How could I not? Each three-inch-high piece had a glorious half-slice of pineapple, with a maraschino cherry nestled in the hollow. Quite pretty, quite sweet, bringing me happy thoughts of happy times. Nice cake.
It all began in the wee hours of Sunday, April 19th. Steed's was closing and Sam had fetched from the cooler the leftovers set aside from the earlier cookout. Said leftovers included a right fair hunk of cake, pineapple upside-down cake. This cake was a high-rise affair, with pineapple slices and brown sugar glaze. Oh, yeah! Nice cake! None for me, though; it was Sam's fortune cookie reward.
The following Sunday, April 26th, I'm over in Beaufort, SC. Daddy had died around 5 AM and I had told Bonnie, his wife of 31 years, that I would be over in the afternoon to help with the obituary. All well and good: this death had been foretold in November and I had made the most of spending time with him and preparing for goodbye in the ensuing months. So, off I go to Beaufort, ending up at Bonnie's mom's house, where a feast is waiting to assuage our grief. What a feast indeed! Shrimp in gravy, fresh green beans with new potatoes, lovely collard greens, fried shrimp, all scrumptious. And for dessert? Pineapple upside-down cake, this one a much lower version, made with crushed pineapple instead of slices. Of course, I had a piece of this one, regaling all with the story of my dear friend's fortune cookie and cake.
Now, here it is Sunday again, though it's a May Sunday. It's a special Sunday at the church, the last sermon to be held in the sanctuary until the renovations have been completed. As it's been a while since I've darkened its doors, I decide to attend. Plus, it's First Sunday of the month, meaning there will be much food afterward and socializing. I arrive almost an hour late, but I still catch all of the sermon and still found a seat with friends. Good times. Then we're all in line for the buffet lavishly spread out for us: fried chicken, cold cuts for sandwiches, macaroni and cheese, cheese broccoli casserole, tabouli, and much, much more.
And on the dessert table? Chocolate cake, chocolate brownies, blondies, chocolate cookies, pound cake, pie, and.. wait for it! ... pineapple upside-down cake. Of course, I had a generous slice. How could I not? Each three-inch-high piece had a glorious half-slice of pineapple, with a maraschino cherry nestled in the hollow. Quite pretty, quite sweet, bringing me happy thoughts of happy times. Nice cake.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
brrr
I know I should come on back to these fine waters, but my heart just isn't quite in to the whole beach thing just yet. Losing one of my best friends and then losing Daddy a scant week later has just left me curled up inside myself, not really wanting much outside contact. Yes, I have been going to work, going out to the school to teach, taking care of my responsibilities... but that's been IT. One of the perks of living alone: I don't HAVE to be sociable with anyone on my own time. And so I haven't. One of the perks of the internet: I can go to facebook and update my status line, leave comments on my friends' and family members' walls, just touch and go in the space of minutes. They then can rest assured that I'm still alive, still out there, coming back ever so slowly into my own again.
Today I go to Charleston, escape my earthly duties for just a little while. Maybe my new guardian angels will come along for the ride on this beautiful day. That would be swell.
Today I go to Charleston, escape my earthly duties for just a little while. Maybe my new guardian angels will come along for the ride on this beautiful day. That would be swell.
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