Monday, November 9, 2009

quote


"Today only happens once." Jeff McDermott

Yesterday was spent in the company of my ex-husband. He was in town to bookend his vacation week in Charleston, hoping to maximize the number of friends he could catch up with while away from Mississippi. I count myself fortunate that I was included in that list and that he, like myself, had left the schedule open for the day. Sure, we both had other events that we COULD have done, but we CHOSE to not have other people lined up for our time. Nice.
So, we met for breakfast, with an eye to following that with the 11:15am service at the church, partly so he could reconnect with friends there, partly to see the progress of the renovation. We never made it there, preferring a leisurely-paced visit together to be of more importance.
We talked mostly about the present. Sure, there was the usual catching up of the events in the lives of family and friends, but mostly the talk was about the events in our own lives in the last few months. You know, experiences in the real world with other people. That's a big issue: allowing ourselves to trust someone else with our hearts. Hell's belles, that is THE issue. No doubt that will continue to be THE issue for some time, but, given enough time, it will go back to where it belongs: just one issue to be considered among others.
I think it was remarkable that we could talk as we did. I know so many divorced couples who hold such animosity toward each other. We still love each other and we will always be a member of each other's family, but we are no longer a couple. We ARE long-time friends, having shared many adventures together in almost two decades. I do hope we will have this friendship for the rest of our lives. He is a remarkable man and I truly do hope he will let happiness find him. He deserves a much better life than he's been allowing himself to live. Even though the picture above was snapped on a whim, its meaning is serendipitous. The picture illustrates his looking toward the future (that vast ocean of possibilities and fish), away from the past (events that cannot be changed). Nice.
As he himself said, today only happens once. Enjoy it, embrace it, engage in it fully.

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