so, i sez to the doc

Dearest Mama,
A week ago Wednesday, the railroad ties were removed from my traintrack. No one had said anything to me about any anesthesia and the procedure was to be done in the doctor's office. As a preemptive measure, I took an 800 mg ibuprofen, just to dull the edges of any forthcoming pain.
As I was lying on the table, the doc told me the staples were definitely ready to be taken off. My body was hard at work rejecting them, pushing with all the strength the surrounding cells could muster. I told him I was regarding the site as my personal Polar Express traintrack. He paused and looked at me and said he had never heard anyone refer to it as that, but he liked it because that story was one of his family's favorites. I told him it had been one of yours as well.
So, he starts removing hardware. And removes more, moving from one side of me to the other to get a better grip on some of them. I ask what will be done with the staples and he asks if I would like them. After the briefest pause, during which I wondered if he might think me mad, I replied "sure!" Then I mentioned that I had some nephews who might get a kick out of them, but really, truly... I wanted them for ME. I wanted to be able to hold them and count them and examine them, these bits of metal which had been protecting the sutured site beneath.
Eventually, the doc tells me that the last few might hurt a little. He was impressed that I had taken measures beforehand to minimize any pain. Then he set to work, freeing those just above the pubes. Sure enough, that DID hurt, but not overly so. When he asked me if I was okay with the pain, I told him the truth: it really wasn't that much different from plucking hairs from my chin. He looked at me to see if perhaps I was joking, saw that I wasn't, and told me he had never had a patient tell him that before, either. I thought it a good comparison to liken the staple removal to facial hair maintenance. It certainly made the whole procedure more tolerable and put it into the proper perspective. You know?
All in all, not a bad experience. I think this gyn doc (David Byck, who is also Susan's gyn) has a different impression of me now and I hope he might share it with his wife, who just happens to be MY general doc. She'll get a kick out of my revelations!
That's all for now. I just wanted to share that story with you before it dimmed from memory. I know how you always loved my stories!
miss you still and love you always

postscript: In case you wondered, there were fifty-seven bird-shaped staples removed. Those silver birds are now safely caged for display!

trains, 3

My latest tattoo, courtesy of Byck & Gilbert. It's a rather expensive piece, so I don't recommend it as fluff art, but rather to commemorate a momentous occasion. I'm calling it my Polar Express train track, in memory of Mama and in honor of the season. WooOOOoo HooOOOOOOooo!


The photographs show the tattoo as the two-part session rendered it. First, with the fifty-seven silver staples serving as the ties on the track. Second, with the ties removed, allowing a softening effect. Pretty stunning!

trains, 2

Dec 10, Friday, I posted on fb: Done!!! All the Final Exams are graded, all the grades are submitted, I've even already done my syllabi for next term... whew!
Bunny, Fae, Sue (CA), Sue (ONT), and Patrick LIKED it
Hema: over achiever!
me: Not really. I have a hysterectomy scheduled for 7 am on Monday, giving me exactly 4 weeks to recover before Spring begins. WHAT was I thinking???
Hema: Oh... Good Luck! Sometimes girls have to go through this hys... stuff
Sandra: you go girl...

Dec 10, Sue (ONT) wrote to me on fb: Good Luck with the surgery ok. Love you xo. Had mine evicted on Jan 2 2007. I was so happy mine gone, for me no more pain xo. Saying prayers. xo
Dec 12, I replied: Thank you, dear! I had a "freak-out!!!" moment yesterday, but good so far today! ♥ Oh, got your package yet?
Dec 17, I replied: I now have a lovely rack of staples from my navel to my pubes, but they should be gone by the end of next week. My Aunt Linda came up from Tallahassee to stay with me and hold my hand, but she'll be leaving on Saturday for Atlanta. She has been SUCH a blessing!

Dec 12, Sunday, I posted on fb: GoLYTELY into this good day... oh, joy!

Dec 12, Sue (CA) wrote to me on fb: Hey Tina, Thank you for the gifts! The kids are very excited!! And good luck tomorrow - we're sending lots and lots of positive energy and good thoughts! Love ya - Sue
Dec 16, I replied: Hey! Home now. Which kid got which ornament (vertical rainbow, Christmas quilt, blue sky daisy)? Glad the package arrived okay!

Dec 13, Monday, Bunny posted: Feel Better Tina... We Love You!!

Dec 15, Wednesday, Sandra posted: Good morning my friend... hope you are doing well...

Dec 16, Thursday, I posted on fb: Am home! Got here yesterday... so good to NOT be in the land of beeps and bells and blood pressure cuffs!
Yvonne, Sandra, and Bunny LIKED it
Steve: glad to hear you're home,hope you're ok...if you need us, call us
me: Thanks, Steve! Keep the phone on for me! : )

Dec 16, Penny (GA) wrote to me on fb: Beeps, Bells, and Blood Pressure? Tina???? Are you okay?????
Been missing you, but just saw your facebook post and am wondering if you have been really MIA? Hope you are okay!!!! Penny
Dec 17, I replied: Abdominal hysterectomy on Monday. I now have a lovely rack of staples from my navel to my pubes, but they should be gone by the end of next week. My Aunt Linda came up from Tallahassee to stay with me and hold my hand, but she'll be leaving on Saturday for Atlanta. She has been SUCH a blessing!
Dec 17, Penny (GA) replied: Okay! Bless you. I hope the worst is behind you and that it's all smooth sailing from here. It sounds horribly painful. That is really good that your aunt came to stay with you for a time. I would offer to help this weekend but I'm headed to Columbia, SC tomorrow for the weekend. I'll be back Sunday.

Dec 17, Friday, I posted on fb: I have my very own Polar Express on my abdomen now! It'll be gone by the end of next week, though. Maybe I should take a picture??? Naw...
Amy: What's going on?
Roy: You have a new tattoo?
Deatre: The marks will still be there for years to come.
me: Just like a new tattoo!

Dec 19, Sunday, I posted on fb: My first day Home Alone... nice! I slept until almost 11 am!
Morgan, Sandra, and Emily LIKED it
Jim: Hang in there Tina. With your drive and spirit we'll see your smiling face around town soon I'm sure.
Christy: let us know if you need anything at all....
Hema: Rest well!
Christina G: I hope that means you are feeling better. Rest and get well soon.
Morgan: good times!!!
me: Thank you to all! I'm feelin' better every day (every day now)!
Morgan LIKED my comment

Dec 19, Sunday, I sent this message to many of my friends and family on fb: I wanted to make sure you knew why I was in absentia so much lately. In August, I had a diagnostic laparoscopy which confirmed that an abdominal hysterectomy was needed. I decided to have the surgery done this year, partly for cost benefit, partly to keep my May birthday and summer from being eaten up by the procedure and recovery. The surgery was to be done right after the school semester ended, giving me roughly 4 weeks of recovery. That meant I had to put in extra time to be "ahead of the curve" at the semester's end, curtailing much of my socializing the last few weeks, alas.
The surgery, on Monday 13 Dec, went for 2 1/2 hours, but the doc said he was very pleased and that "it was all a mess and really needed to come out." I've been home since 5pm Wednesday, sporting a train track (the Polar Express, I'm calling it) on my abdomen from my navel to my groin. The staples come out this week, most likely Wednesday, Dec 22. My Aunt Linda (Mama's sole surviving sibling) came up on the 9th and only just left yesterday morning for her son's family in Stone Mountain (Atlanta). She was so amazing and took such good care of me! Harry is here now and he's been most helpful and patient, too.
So, now y'all know not to expect me out and about much, but you are welcome to visit!
Dec 19, Hema replied: Thanks for letting me know. Hope you feel better soon. Merry Christmas and happy New Year! and prayers.
Dec 19, Jerry replied: Sorry to hear about your surgery, but happy to hear that you are home and doing good. Hope that you are up and out real soon. Have a Merry Christmas and New Year and take good care of yourself. Everyone needs good friends like you. Love, Mom Wiley
Dec 19, Berta replied: Hi Tina, I had missed your posts on FB! So glad the surgery was a success and hope you are well on your way to recovery! Look forward to seeing you soon! XXB
Dec 20, Sharon D replied: I'll try to get down there next week to spend an afternoon with you. Maybe I can make and bring some divinity...Thanks for the update. Love ya!
Dec 20, I replied: So THAT is how to get divinity! : ) I'll be looking forward to seeing you, dear!
Dec 20, Monica replied: I'm very happy that it turned out well - I missed your posts, too! Welcome back!!!
Dec 20: Sharon N replied: I'm glad you are back Tina!! I did wonder where you had been - honestly I will now always think of you whenever I see Polar Express!!! :) I'm glad you are recovering nicely and have your family to help. Take care! :)
Dec 20, I replied: Thanks, Sharon! : ) Polar Express was one of Mama's favorite books, so I guess it naturally came to mind whne I looked at my personal train tracks. Choo choo!!! ♥

Dec 20, Monday, I posted on fb: I have pants! Zipperless pants, as I now have my own! Warm legs again.... nice!
Bunny, Penny (GA), Lynn (T), and Sue (ONT) LIKED it
Fae: Congrats! Hope all continues to go well w/ your recovery.
Deborah: life is good
me: Life is most assuredly GOOD.

Dec 20, Sue (ONT) wrote to me on fb: Hope you're a little more comfortable now. Hope all went well too. xoxo Been saying a whole lot of prayers for you too. xo
Dec 21, I replied: Thank you, dear! ♥ The staples come out tomorrow... but I do have comfy clothes to wear!

Dec 21, Tuesday, I posted on fb: Tomorrow I lose the hardware, but keep the new Polar Express "inkless" tattoo. Wooooohoooooo! Chuchuchuchu wooohoooo!
Fae, Christina G, and Sharon D LIKED it
Christina G: Glad to hear that things are happening.
Ernest: I want one.... too.
Fae: Hope your recovery continues to go well.
me: Ernie, I suggest you get your tattoo the old-fashioned way! Thanks all for your good wishes!

Dec 22, Wednesday, I posted on fb: Fifty-seven. 57 tiny silver ties that once held the train track together. Wow.
Sharon N: Yikes Ms. Polar Express!!
night though. If I can do anything let me know. Keep healing!!! Penny

Dec 24, Patrick wrote to me on fb: Dr Smith, I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Hope you have a speedy recovery from your surgery. -Patrick

trains, part 1

Here's a joke told to me some time ago, but having relevance these days.

Roy Rogers' Boots

One day Roy Rogers was passing the boot maker's shop when he noticed a pair of boots in the window that were the most beautiful he had ever seen. He entered the shop and told the proprietor that he must have the boots that were in the window. The proprietor said the boots were made for someone else, but, if they fit Roy, he could have them and he would make a new pair for the other customer.
So Roy proudly left the shop wearing his new boots. However, on the way back to his ranch, it began to rain and as he walked up to the ranch house, his new boots got all muddy. He left them on the porch and entered the house. While he was eating his dinner, a bobcat snuck up onto the porch and grabbed the boots in his mouth and ran off with both of them.
Fortunately the cook saw the theft and called Roy. Roy was livid. He whistled for Trigger and took off at a gallop after the bobcat. A few hours later he returned with a dead bobcat across the front of his saddle. The once beautiful boots were hanging out of the saddle bags. They were torn to shreads. As he rode up, the cook hailed Roy.
When the cowboy drew near the cook shouted, "Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?" (sung to the tune of "Chattanooga Choo Choo")

frantic

The day is fast approaching when I will have yet another invasion into my body to remove an organ run amok. This time, it'll be the 'girl' parts: both ovaries, the uterus, and the tubes between. Mama's sister is coming to hold my hand and reassure that all will be well... and yet I find myself on edge. My bird has arranged to take the day off to be at the hospital with us... and still I worry. I've taken the time at school to prepare ahead for next semester, just in case... just in case of what? I don't know.
And that's really the long and the short of it. I DON'T KNOW. I don't know how this bout of abdominal intrusion will affect me. How quickly will I recover at my age? What happens in the hole left by the missing parts? Won't other parts sag in to that emptied space, possibly disrupting body functions? How long will I be under the influence of anesthesia? How long will I suffer the aftereffects of going under? Should I stay at my house or elsewhere? When will I be able to drive my stick-shift again? How long am I to be a disruption to the lives of those who love me?
I've arranged for this to take place during this long break from school, giving myself four full weeks to become fully mobile. What if that isn't long enough???
And there is the crux of the matter. I am playing "what if" and driving myself to distraction. I really don't have time for this mentally exhausting game, yet I cannot pull myself from the lip of the abyss. Perhaps it's time for bed.