waiting for the monster to strike again

I finally have my car back again.
I picked it up yesterday morning, after the clutch master cylinder had been replaced to make it drivable.
The trunk is lashed down, as it can no longer close properly.
And I find myself waiting for the Monster SUV to strike again, to attack me from out of the blue.
I've driven my car only twice since I got it back.
Yesterday, I drove from Dixie Motors to my house. My first niece then ferried me around for our movie and slunch date. She even took me with her to pick up the Papa Murphy's pizza specials from Wednesday night's game.
My car then sat in the driveway until this afternoon.
I drove out to Tybee Vacation Rentals to inquire about a job, on her advice. The folks behind the counter were rather unpleasant to me, but that was not why I started crying.
The drive out to Tybee had been so stressful.
I didn't have any huge beasts crowding my tailpipe - for a change - but I kept watching in the rearview mirror, just in case.
All the way there.
Then I kept close watch again, all the way home.
I've cried twice since I got home two hours ago.
I know it's stress.
I know it's the bad kind of stress that just immobilizes me.
I should have gone to wash clothes.
I should have gone to the post office.
I should have gone to the bank.
I stayed here, feeling trapped.

Tonight, I will go to the baseball game.
That is close enough to home that the distance is minimal.
But I will most likely come straight home after the game.
And I will be watching for the white SUV ...