getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you

But not of me!
Even though the high temperatures have been up in the 90's (Fahrenheit, y'all) on numerous occasions in the past two months, my electric bills have been less than fifty dollars.
I know, sounds hard to believe, right?

Do I have solar panels on my roof, generating my own power?
I wish.
In fact, when I win the lottery, that is one of the FIRST modifications I'm having done to the house.
But, presently, I do not have such.

Do I have some magical roof that reflects the heat up, up, and away?
Well, that would be pretty neat-o, too.
But, no.

Do I have some proof of my claim???
Yes. Yes, I do!

Email dated 06/19/14 2:34 PM.
You have a new bill from Georgia Power.

Biller Account Number: ******
Due Date: 07/02/2014
Amount Due: $ 41.67

Pretty impressive, right?

Whatever is my secret???
My AC is busted and I don't have the funds to fix it.
It's been nonfunctionable since - September? October? - of last year.
I didn't have the funds to fix it then, either.
Part-time pay as a professor at Armstrong State University nets me $245.00 per week, for teaching one lecture (150 minutes per week) and two labs (three-hours each, per week). That means I get a whopping 49 dollars per day. I don't even want to discuss the hourly rate; it's rather pitiful, considering that I spend more than twice my in-class time preparing lectures and exams, then grading exams and lab materials (three assignments per student per lab).
So, yeah, not enough for another new condenser.
Cerainly not enough for some guy to come by for twenty minutes and confirm that it's broken.
I already know the condenser has failed, yet again.
I don't need to throw $100 cash money into the air, or someone's pocket, to find that out.

I'm the only one here since the peace Guy jetted off to ATL.
I grew up without air conditioning in the house.
Heck, we didn't even have AC in the schools!
So, forty years later, I'm just making do.
At night, when the air is cooler, I turn on the attic fan and open the windows to invite that coolness into the house.
During the day, I try to keep the cooler air trapped as long as possible.
I also go off to places that do have AC, like the museums (I have membership, so that's essentially free), the grocery stores (gotta eat!), and movies (like I'm going to give THAT up!).

Well, why don't you give up all of that entertainment? That would give you more money.
I tell you what: you spend your money on whatever brings you pleasure and I will spend my money on what brings me happiness.

For the most part, I'm fine with the heat.
For the most part.

Of course, I can't invite anyone over to my hot little house.
Well, not without informing them of it being a hot little house, right?

Still, I think I will buy a room fan today.
My ocean room is a bit steamy.
Esepcially with my hot body generating so much energy in such a small space.
BIG smile!!!

home alone

So, yesterday, I arrived at my bff's house before she did. I contacted my bfe to let him know I had arrived safely and to chat (well, text, if you must know) while I waited.
The following is our conversation.

me: I'm here! And nuvi even showed me a new way to go. I think it may have been a little faster, even!
bfe: good to know!
me: She's still at work, so right now I'm home alone.
bfe: I've never seen Home Alone but I heard that shit gets crazy.
me: Total mayhem! hilarious! like 3 stooges (though there are only 2).
bfe: Just Larry and Curly... not the great mind of Moe.
me: UNLESS you consider the kid as Moe, wreaking havoc on the others!
bfe: A Moe shooting heroin later in life!
me: No, he would have been too mellow for all that if he was ON smack.
bfe: True, the her-won is supposed to make one mellow.

Man, I so enjoy these wacky chats!