shortest. job. ever.

It was the shortest, and strangest, period of employment I have ever had.
No, I was not employed at the lingerie store.
I had been hired as an inspector by a vacation rental agency.
Today was my final day.
Let me tell you how it all began.

Two of my nieces, one of my nephews, and two friends of mine already work at this establishment, in various capacities. One of my nieces had known of the need for inspectors. Inspectors are those people who check the properties after cleaning and prior to guests checking in. In other words, inspectors are the ones who check the work of the housekeepers and take care of any little things left to do.
Sweet! That definitely sounded like work I could handle, especially as I had heard my niece discuss it on several occasions. The hours sounded good to me and I could work part-time, so I submitted my resume online and waited to hear back.
Did I receive a phone call from a supervisor to arrange an interview? How about an official email message from the Human Resources department to request my presence?
No and no.
I received a text message query from my niece. On Wednesday, September 2, she asked, "Can you come for an interview tomorrow?"
Seriously.
I responded that I had car repairs already scheduled for that day and could not, but how about Tuesday? Would that work for the person in charge?
My niece responded that it would and that it was "more of a hiring than an interview."
Curiouser and curiouser.
On the designated day of September 8th, I arrived early, dressed for the interview. An hour later, I walked out with the Employee Handbook and a handshake. Success! The job required four days of training, with my first day scheduled for Friday, the 11th. Okay! First day of home games for the Sand Gnats at the Playoffs, but I would just plan to go straight to the stadium. No worries!
Still no "welcome to the team" official emails, no "glad to have you onboard" phone calls from the people in charge.
Odd, right?
Friday arrives and I'm there early, waiting for the trainer to come in. Meanwhile, her supervisor takes me to the supply room and shows me where things are. She also helps me set up my cleaning caddie and restocking bin, telling me she would make name labels for them later.
The trainer arrives and off we go, after pulling filters for the units we are to check. We gather linens at another location, then arrive at the first property to be checked. What chaos! Sand on the floor, sand on the counters, sand in the drawers, sand on the furniture. No hospital corners on the beds, missing hand towels on the sinks, soiled blankets and stained pillows in the closets.
Seriously, I thought it was left that way on purpose so I would see what was wrong with it. Surely the housekeeping staff was not that negligent... right?
On to the next property, a few blocks away. We had barely started when we were pulled off to check another property, not one on our agenda. Another callback, as it turned out. Then we returned to the interrupted inspection and finished it, moving on. We had a total of seven properties, ranging in size from four-bedroom houses to one-bedroom condos, that we were scheduled to inspect. We managed to finish five of them, as well as two that were not originally ours, and we cleaned two grills that had been missed by the housekeepers. Ugh. A very full day of trudging up and down stairs, up and down stairs, up and down stairs, with me in shoes that were totally wrong for the job.
Still, I made it to the ballgame just fine, so all was good. Then the Sand Gnats won the game - woohoo!
My next training day was Tuesday, the 15th. I arrived early, this time with a snack and a water bottle. You see, there is no stopping for meals, at least not with this trainer. On Tuesday, she had teased me about stopping for lunch after a particular property, then we had been called to another just as I had placed my order at the Arby's. I drank the soda and ate fries to the new property, then had to wait on the sandwich until later. And it was already after 3 pm! No breaks that first day, not even for the bathroom.
This second day for me was different, though. Two others, a husband and wife team, were now training with me. The trainer had brought water for them, but first teased them about stopping for lunch, with no lunch ever happening. I guess that is part of the teaching process.
We did take a bathroom break, after the other woman asked if we could, after five hours of work.
That Tuesday was not a particularly good day for us. We were scheduled to inspect five properties. We only were able to do three of them and they were all callbacks. That means we had essentially wasted our time for eight hours.
Very frustrating for all of us.
To top things off, I was wearing new sneakers and wasn't very comfortable with them. I tripped on the last step while going up the exterior flight of steps, ending up sprawled on the porch, right in front of the other three. The trainer freaked out. I was okay, I really was, but she was totally freaked out.
The third training day for me was today. I was joined, once more, by the couple who were training and we had all brought drinks and snacks with us. Well, we had snacks; I was almost running late and had left my bottle of water in my car. No time to retrieve it!
Before we could even leave the office, the trainer and I had to go up to Human Resources. Why? The trainer had noted my fall on the steps and an accident report had to be filled out. Apparently, this was the first time the trainer had ever had to do such a thing.
I showed them the small bruise on my knee, signed off that I was fine, and we were finally on our way to the ten properties of the day.
That's right: ten properties to inspect.
With a trainer in a bad mood.
The very first one was a HUGE house! Dirty grill, dirty sheets in the master bedroom, broken furniture on the porch - nothing that improved her mood. I found a dirty paper plate and wad of tinfoil in a planter that someone had used as a trashcan. No telling how long that had languished. The trainer graced me with a "Good work, Tina." She even said it twice! Okay, definite progress!
It was a callback, so we documented all that needed to be done, then went to our next property. Just a few minor touch-ups and we proceeded along. Honestly, we had a much better day and even managed to cross off eight of the properties assigned to us! The guy bumped his head twice, once on the tailgate of her van and once on the underside of an exterior stairwell at one of the properties, so the trainer will get more experience with writing accident reports. But not on me! I was going up and down stairs with nary a problem!
The last property we inspected was mine, too. That means, I acted as lead person, checking for any errors left behind by the housekeepers. It was a three-story house, too, and I did really well with it! I even found a scummy shower curtain liner (and had the trainer's help changing it out) and an earring under one of the beds!
But by that time, the trainer was hurrying me along. "Nancy needs to talk with us, we need to hurry up." "Nancy is waiting for us, we need to get back to the office." "We need to go to the office before Nancy leaves."
O-kay. But first, let's finish this property, right?
So, we get back to the office. The trainer goes to talk with Nancy first, then I got called in and the trainer left. Doors were closed.
That can't be good, I thought. I wondered if this was also about the trip on the stairs on Tuesday.
No.
This was about me getting fired for "not enough attention to detail". Say what? This had been a stellar day for me! I had even won praise from the trainer at two of the properties!
I think my getting let go had more to do with the fall up the step than on my "skillset" for the job of inspector.
At least they're going to keep my resume on file in case they have any openings that would better fit my skills.
But I won't be holding my breath.