still me

One of the lessons I've (re)learned these past few months is this: whatever life throws at a person, they still NEED to be treated as they always have been. Not pitied, not shunned, not scorned. Too many times, the PERSON is equated with the physical body, though nothing could be farther from the truth. The physical body is simply the destructible, flawed vessel inhabited while doing time on this planet. The French philosopher, Teilhard DeChardin, long ago wrote: "We are not physical beings having a spiritual experience. Rather we are spiritual beings having a physical experience." Even before I knew of this person's writings, these words have been a cornerstone to the foundation of my views on life in this material world.

After the divorce, I kept telling everyone that I didn't want to be part of the great sadness in the world. I hadn't asked for the circumstances that threw me into this situation and I didn't want it to affect how people treated me. But the label "divorced" did change how I was treated. I was, and still am, the same spiritual being I ever was, with the same moral code I've had since my early 20's, but I found that my new label made folks a little uneasy. Suddenly, I couldn't be trusted around other people's husbands because I was an unescorted woman. Suddenly, I had friends questioning their own marriages because mine was no more. Suddenly, I was excluded from some social events because I would have been attending alone. Suddenly, I was regarded as "available" sexually.

What the hell?! I am still me, the same caring, trustworthy gal with the open heart, open mind, open arms. I am STILL me.

And my father is still himself. His body is full of Cancer, but the disease is NOT part of him. The disease is simply part of his body. Daddy still has his lively sense of humor, he still has his stories to tell, he still has the need for a connection to those he loves and holds dear. And so I have been trying to do as he wishes, to treat him still the same as I ever have, though maybe just a little nicer... then I get in my car to return home and shed my tears once I am on the road.