Dear Tony,
I have been at the hospital with Ronnie every day sine Saturday. Wait - I was not there on Monday, as I had school most of that day. I spent Tuesday grading Final Exams at Memorial.
He had almost drunk himself to death. He has alcoholic hepatitis, though, not cirrhosis, so his liver can recover, if he gives it a chance. I don't think he will, as he has no intention of going into rehab. I'm working on him abou that, though, and will hopefully get him to change his mind.
Yesterday, he was able to walk for the first time since he went in. Very shaky, and cannot stand long enough to even have a shower, but at least he can now move from the bed to the chair.
His color is slowly returning to normal. He had been very yellow. His speech has also improved, though he tends to mutter instead of speaking out loud.
Yesterday, I walked him through the Five Wishes paperwork. That seemed to make the gravity of his situation sink in for him. Five Wishes is a living will and specifies what is to be done in emergency situations and what is to be done in case of death.
Smitty had also been there earlier yesterday and brought Ronnie some clothes. I think being able to wear clean clothing helped improve Ronnie's mood, but it also made him want to leave the hospital. I'm glad he is not yet steady enough to be allowed to do so.
Today, I am going to try to get him to write to you. I want him to make that contact, as you are not able to come see him. I'm hoping that action will also encourage him to make a change and go to rehab. Maybe.
Okay, I better get a move on. I hope all is well with you. I'm tired, but I'm hanging in there.
At least Ronnie has finally met his twin granddaughters. Michael brought them by on Sunday. The visit was brief, as Ronnie was in very rough shape and the girls are only six months old, but it was so good that Michael did that.
I love you, Tony.
12 comments:
You are such a wonderful person and an even better sister!. Ronnie is so blessed to have you by his side for comfort, strength and advice. You are a rock -- and a rock star -- sweet Tina. Sending lots of love and healing energy for Ronnie.
May 8, 2015
Tina,
I always thought you were quite a special cousin to keep in touch with us, and spending some time with you over the last decade made me appreciate the intelligent and wonderful person you are, but I have also become acquainted with what a terrific sister you continue to be to your brothers. You are an awesome care taker. Know that if you ever need a break, you're welcome to come to our home for a vacation and I'll even cook for you. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know. You and all of your brothers are in our thoughts and prayers. Love you,
Sharon (and Susan)
May 8, 2015
Dearest Tina,
I am so sorry to see this, I know it is just tearing you up inside. I wish I could be there to offer support. My house goes on the market this weekend, and shit just keeps getting weirder with dickhead. Ugh, stress levels too high for words....
Take care of yourself, sweetheart.
May 7, 2015
I am sorry Ronnie is not able to face his addiction. You are the tie that
holds your family together and I respect and admire your courage and
ability to do that.
Love you,
bonnie
May 7, 2015
So sorry Tina. Hopefully Ronnie will regain the will to live without alcohol.
I know this brings back some memories for you.
I love you.
May 7, 2015
Tina,
Thank you for this letter. I must admit I had no idea that Ronnie had such dire problems, I saw him and his brother once when I went to visit Harvey and Bonnie in their trailer when Harvey was very sick. I believe the boys were alight then but of course they wouldn't have told me anything anyway.I will pray for him and hope for a good recovery.Does he have a wife? Does he have children? I am so sorry for Harvey's children and the misfortune in his and their lives. Thank goodness you and Smitty are doing well. I am sure that our not having a Father who stayed and a Mother who died young had a lot to do with Harvey's misfortune as well as some of the children. Thank God for my good luck in spite of it all.
Love,Aunt Barbara
May 7, 2015
I am so sorry to hear about Ronnie. He had always lived on the edge but it never tumbled over it. I hope that this experience shows him that he needs to back away from it.
May 7, 2015
I am so sorry to hear! Hopefully he will decide to get help for himself....I love you so much and miss you even more! Keep me updated and let me know if I can do anything!!!!
Love,
Emily
May 9, 2015
Dear Jeff,
Yes, I hope the same thing for Ronnie.
Still, as the doctor says, he is a grown man and gets to make his own decisions, be they good, bad, or ugly.
His color is much improved, but just sitting up in bed and eating a meal wears him out.
I keep working on him to go to rehab...
with my love,
May 9, 2015
Dearest Bonnie,
Thank you.
Your words give me much-needed strength.
I continue to hope.
with my love,
Dear Sharon,
Thank you... I just may take you up on that offer sometime.
I do so appreciate the kind and caring words.
Looking forward to y'all's big celebration in July!
with much love,
May 7, 2015
Dear Aunt Barbara,
Ronnie has been divorced for almost 25 years. His ex-wife, Melinda, has been a fabulous mother and their two children, Christina and Michael, have grown up to have good sense and an aversion to drugs.
I know you and Daddy had a hard time of it when you were growing up. I know Bonnie was a blessing to Daddy and a very strong positive influence.
Ronnie has been an alcoholic for the past thirty years or so. Melinda tried to make the marriage work, but marriage needs TWO people to make it strong.
He seems to be better every day.
I pray every day that he will want to go to rehab.
with my love,
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