More puns and twisted definitions from multiple sources!
Such delight!
These are right on time for my birthday, too.
Bonus!
Plus, there's some STEM stuff lurking near the end.
Bwah ha HA!!!
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When instant replay was first used on tv in 1963, everyone wanted to see it again.
The evil witch needed more info about a sinister brew, so she looked it up on "wicked-pedia".
The runner who was late for the start of the marathon was not too swift.
The Australian marsupial was hired by the tree trimming service because he was "koala-fied".
The bracelet with the four-leaf clover fit like a charm.
The movie star made the headlines after he acted up.
The rattlesnake had trouble relaxing becasue he was "viper"-active.
The tightrope walker retired becasue he was tired of spending so much of his life on the line.
The dog was certain he'd made the cat very angry after seeing the tell-"tail" sign.
A medium gathering is a seance.
An itsy bitsy biter is a gnat.
A toaster is often a best man.
They were selling out of Beatles albums in record time.
Climbing the mountain was going fine until the weather went downhill.
She thought that winning the $1000 in the raffle was a grand prize.
After a hectic day, he was happy to have this to eat his slice of pizza: "piece" and quiet.
The postage stamps featuring the Mt. Rushmore carvings sold for face value.
He wanted to leave, but he didn't have enough get-up-and-go.
After discovering fraud at the aerospace company, the auditors would need to launch a probe.
It was time to plant the corn, and the farmer was ready to "pro-seed".
When it came to not telling the truth, he was "re-lie-able".
The barbeque on the army base was led by the "grill" sergeant.
When the cartoonist sketched the White House guard, he drew attention.
They bought the house next to the horse farm because they loved the "neigh-bors".
The frog couldn't build a deck where he lived, but he was able to make a "padio".
The town for cold trolls is Gnome, Alaska.
The singer's annoying relative was Gnat King Cole.
The more tournaments the tennis player won, the more he was able to enjoy his net worth.
The hula dancer was really sick. She had a bad cold and she couldn't shake it.
After buying the condo in the high rise, they lived it up.
After wearing his uniform for three days straight, Beetle Bailey was fatigued.
When the kids kept asking questions, their mom was all "no-ing".
The repairman was single and his customers wanted to fix him up.
He wanted to fish from the pier, but the marine mammals had it sealed off.
He thought he knew how many vampires were there, but he forgot to count Dracula.
The dogs that didn't get along were cross-breeds.
The psychiatrist began to worry about his business after it started to shrink.
The housekeeper had leftover sausages for lunch, which she polished off.
After carelessly puncturing all four tires, he would be flat broke.
After walking to the golf course near his house, he was ready for a long drive.
There wasn't a cloud in the sky when the new king began reigning.
The inventor of the felt tip pen said, "These will be a big hit - mark my words".
When the surgeon met himself in a parallel universe, it was a "pair-a-docs".
The staricase wasn't going to be finished on schedule because of all the missteps.
The paranoid, tree-phobic person shouted, "Fir get me not"!
Lazy trees are beech bums.
The Canadian asked the tree, "Are you oak, eh"?
The tree wasn't growing coconuts like it should, and in order to find out why, they hired a palm reader.
When her plum tree dried up due to summer heat, she decided to prune it.
He was told his billboard would be up in time for his grand opening, but there was no sign of it.
Working at the dog kennel can sometimes be a "ruff" job.
The poorly made abacus couldn't be counted on.
When he took his date on a little boat ride, it was "row-mantic".
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Tired, but pleased to have invented the air conditioner, Carrier cooled his heels.
In inventing his elevator, Otis rose to the occasion.
Nervously testing his new invention, the Aqua-Lung, Cousteau took a deep breath.
In inventing the hot air balloon, the Montgolfier brothers got carried away.
Proving his invention of the joy buzzer to be a complete success, Adams shocked everyone.
Immediately upon inventing the box camera (but not the lens cap), Eastman snapped his fingers.
After inventing the forerunner to the modern toilet, Harington flushed with pride.
To celebrate inventing his revolutionary engine, Watt blew off some steam.
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Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein (usually)
Science is doing the same thing over and over and looking for a pattern. - Faustina Smith, analytical chemist
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