love story, danish-style

So, we three chicas went to see "The Danish Girl" this afternoon.
What a beautiful love story!
Forget about "The Titanic", in which the two lovers knew each other for less than two days. That's lust, not love.
A true love story requires that the two people have been exposed to each others dirty laundry, bathroom habits, and general daily routines and still find each other to be the light of their lives.
There were several times I found myself in tears throughout this movie. Every time, it was because of the love evinced by the wife for the husband she had married six* years earlier. Every time, it was because she was being asked to allow him to change, knowing she would lose the person she loved - and yet, she did as he asked of her.
Every time.
That's some powerful love, folks.
Gerda is truly the hero of the movie.
She repeatedly put her own needs on hold for her husband's happiness.
Moreover, she did so unselfishly and without reproach.
Perhaps she blamed herself for his choices. There is one point when she asks him if this change in his demeanor was because of something she did, if it was because she had asked him to wear the stockings and women's shoes so she could finish her painting.
Of course, that was not what made him the person he truly was. He was already that person. But the favor for her painting did allow him to show his real self to her, his real self that had been hidden from everyone since he was young.
He tried to reassure her that the favor for her had no role in his change, but how to know if she ever believed that she was not responsible for releasing Lili to the world?
How to know if she ever believed that she was not responsible for the loss of the man she loved?

I just wish the movie had made it plain that they were married for twenty-six years, not the six* years given in the movie. That six year mark is important, as that is when Gerda had asked the favor of Einar and he had agreed to do it for her. That six year mark is important, as that is when Gerda became aware of Einar's self-identity, Lili.
But they were married for another two decades after that.
They were married until the Danish king, in 1930, dissolved their marriage. Einar had already begun the physical transformation (through a total of four surgeries), from man to woman, and same-sex marriages were not allowed.
At that time, the couple were in their forties, not in their youth.
That makes a big difference.
These were not young people making rash decisions. These were people in their midlife years, making decisions after more than a decade of consideration of options and search for medical intervention.
That makes a big difference.
Gerda had remained by Lili's side, supportive, loving, giving, for another two decades after learning the truth. Gerda had remained by Lili's side, as she could not bear to lose the person she loved in addition to the man she loved.
That makes a big difference, too.
That is what makes this a love story.
A true love story.
Well, "true" except for that 'poetic license" taken with the timeline.
I do hope Alicia Vikander gets an Oscar nomination, in addition to the Golden Globe and SAG nominations she has already received.