invisible trees

"Am I gonna learn this time/ am I gonna try to get around it/ am I gonna reach the vine/ when will I realize that I found it?" So begins one of those songs that get into your head and and won't let go, songs with an ulterior motive, working on your subconscious mind. Moreover, the song is NOT one ever heard on the radio and I wouldn't have ever been exposed to it except I was married to a music man. The song is called "Invisible Tree" and it's sung by Josh Clayton-Felt, a young man taken off this planet by a strain of the great virus Cancer. I like the song, an anthem to a human tendency to make mountains out of molehills, to play what if. Now, there's a game with absolutely no winners and it's a real time-consuming and energy-sapping beast, engaged in more often than it should be.

"Some are gonna know it's there/ some will say you're only wishin'/ some are gonna be too scared/ don't wanna know what they are missin'." Not making a decision for fear of it being the wrong one, not believing in your own path because others haven't yet walked it, not asking for something desired for fear of hearing a negative answer; not making a move because of the invisible tree in your path, the monster in the closet, the bugaboo haunting your thoughts. The loss of faith in your own ability to choose your own path. How does that happen? One moment, you can see the future laid out before you, even the bends in the road being gentle enough to assure that the path is safe and bright. Then, an obstacle rises before you, cutting you off forever from that sure path and forcing you to make a decision: stay planted with past ghosts on that narrow blocked path, surmount the obstacle and regain your path, or force your way through the dimly lit underbrush to create a new path.

Well, I like to travel and have done so my entire life, ever since I was a baby and my mother would roll me around the apartment in the stroller to calm me. Since I cannot retreat into the past (because of the nature of time on this planet), and I have already climbed over this hurdle once before and cannot do so again, then it's my choice to forge a new way, yet again. Adventure, that magic word for me, awaits. One step at a time, my girl, one small step at a time to find a new bright future., acknowledging the presence of invisible trees and swinging on their vines.