once upon a time

Once upon a time, I was his princess and he was the man I adored. Then I got older and he made mistakes and my parents divorced. I found out he wasn't the man I had thought he was and I grew up... and I kept in touch, because he was my one-and-only Daddy, warts and all, and I was his one-and-only ever-lovin' daughter.

I eventually got old enough to understand that the divorce had nothing to do with us kids. The marriage was between him and Mama. The truly bad patterns of behavior were between him and Mama. The divorce, also, was between him and Mama. No one can know what goes on in a marriage except the two people wed by law to each other.

We four kids stayed with Mama. Daddy remarried, not once but twice. The third marriage was the charm, as they say, and they are still married and have two sons who know nothing of the man Daddy used to be. He truly did change: no more wild drinking, no more reckless gambling, no more heavy-handed actions. His third wife laid down the law to him and he agreed to abide by her rules. Incredible how people can change when they choose to do so.

Now, Daddy is dying, having caught hold of the awful Cancer virus. Fortunately, he has little pain and has a doctor who graciously supplied him with pills to make sure he can enjoy the time he has left with his now-grown children and his new grandsons.

Daddy is taking advantage of the short time he has left on this planet. He has mended the rift between our side of the family (me and my brothers) and his one-and-only sister. I look forward to someday soon seeing my three cousins, two I haven't seen in almost 40 years and one I've never met. Strange how such rifts develop between grown-ups and the children are the ones who have to deal with the consequences.

My middle brother has made his peace with Daddy, too, finally, after all these years. I had made sure he knew of Daddy's health, knew time was short, and he decided on his own that he needed to make the move. I believe it will make a difference in his life, a positive shift. I hope it will.

We are all trying to share more quality time with each other. No talk of dying and death, just good times and laughter and hugs. As long as Daddy still has his sense of humor, he's still enjoying the good life and I'll be right there with him as often as I can. Meals shared, old memories too, and new memories made, making the most of this second chance to rewrite the ending of our history together.