the trick is to keep breathing

I can't listen to Garbage any more.

Wha...? Why would anyone want to listen to garbage??

No, not garbage. Garbage, capital G.

Oh, yeah! But i'm confused. I thought you really liked that group.

I do. I did... maybe i still do, but i cannot listen to them right now. Hmmm.. Yeah, come to think of it, that's most likely the story. I think it is.

Waiting for you to get to the point...?

I just bet you are! Okay, here it is. You know i have this five-year mark of betrayal coming up, right?

Yes, i believe you went skittering along on that tight rope a bit earlier -

Well, Garbage, specifically their cd "Version 2.0", was part of my music therapy during the summer of 2007. Maybe even for the fall sessions, too, i'm not sure. Probably so.

I thought you had a bona fide counselor that summer. Yes?

Yes, i did. But it turns out she and her husband were comparing notes on me and mine at the time, so i dropped her like a hot rock. i think i was going solo for just a bit before Duke rode to my emotional rescue. He was most excellent! No doubt i would have never heard of him had i not been hanging out with the first city crowd, but i was and i did. Timing truly is everything.

Yeah, that old adage about being in the right place at the right time is solid. Timing makes all the difference in the world.

Yeah.

Yeah. So, what were we talking about this time?

Ha ha ha. I think i was talking about music therapy and how something that worked in the past may not be appropriate for the current situation.

Whoa there! I thought we were just looking at the one album!

Exactly so, but one thing does lead to another. In that summer five years in the past, i had raged and vented and lost my mind to the soundtrack of that cd and a couple of others. The complete soundtrack, mind you. When i used to put an album on the turntable, i would play it until the needle ran out of groove, so to speak. I still prefer to listen to albums, or cds, or cassettes, in that same fashion. Start with the first song and keep it going until the last notes have played out. As i'm sure you may have noticed from our conversations over the past few days.

Yes, i think you've made that fairly obvious, dear.

And i know i've listened to THIS particular cd in the interim 'twixt that time and this, i know i have. But this time, justthatfast, i was zipped backward through time and thrown back into that morass of rage and resentment. Justthatfast. And i just had to stay on the ride, let it run its course.

No, no, no! You most certainly did not. You could have popped that puppy right out of your player and put it away.

No, i could not. I needed to see it to the finish, let it take me from Point A to Point B, get that emotional wash-rinse-spin cycle completed. Don't you remember when i was overseas, when i was in Okinawa? How i used to kick out the jams with McVicar? You know, i think that may have been my first use of music therapy!
I never have seen the movie, though.

Oh, it's a soundtrack?

Yes, it is! And the reason i bought the album was this: it featured the music of Roger Daltrey. You know, the fellow from The Who?

Who? The Who? Hahaha! I sound like an owl!

Hoot hoot! Hahaha!

Back on topic, dearie, we have other things to do today.

Right. Right. You're bloody well right! As Supertramp would have put it! Wow, THAT was a great concert! That was the first time i ever saw a band performing with a giant screen to accompany them. That may have been in San Diego -

Please. P L E A S E !

Oh, yeah, sure. Let's see, where was i going with this... ? Oh, got it! Music therapy and needing to see a thing through to the end. Well, here's how it works. Rather, here's how it works for me, and try to keep in mind that i'm an analytical person and i notice trends and patterns.
Not that everything has a pattern to it. In fact, i haven't noticed that many albums with a story to tell, so it's pretty magical when one DOES. "McVicar" certainly does, and not just because it's a soundtrack. Not all soundtracks have a theme, some are just music that the director or writer liked and wanted to share with the audience. With "McVicar", you have a man wrongly jailed and planning his escape back to the reality he had known as a free man. Lots of rage, lots of longing, lots of emotion! Totally excellent!
In fact, it inspired me to make my own mix tape to take me from pissed off at the world to calm and sane again. I called it my "hate tape." True story!

And why were you in need of such a thing? You were only - what? Early twenties?

Damn straight! Or, as my lesbian friends would say, "Damn gently curving!"

Cute!

I know, it is, isn't it? But yeah, in the early twenties, there's a lot of emotion to burn off. Not that i've noticed a big difference in my early fifties, come to think of it, but i AM better at channeling those currents to minimize possible damage. Mostly. Right?

Yeah, whatever you say. Mama taught me to humor crazy people.

So did mine! How very cool!

And back we go to the topic. You still have that "hate tape"?

You bet. It's been years since i listened to it, though. I wonder if it'll still work?

You mean emotionally or mechanically?

Hmmmm...

Right! Get on with your bad self! You've got things to do and places to be and people to see, and none of that is happening while your butt's in the chair here. Out you go!
And leave that tape where it is!