when i drive myself, my life is found

You know how much i have complained here, repeatedly, about driving and getting lost and completely losing my mind?

Lord, yes!

Excuse me?

You asked, i answered.

The question was rhetorical. I was about to tell you a story and you interrupted me, yet again.

Well, i thought i heard a pause after the question, so i was trying to do the right thing and let you know i was listening. So i responded.

Fine. (sigh.)

Fine. You were talking about getting lost.

So i was. Well, i realized something this weekend about me and getting lost. No, i take that back, zfr my laster.

WHAT?! "ZFR my laster"?

Come now, you've heard me say that before. I could just stop at "zfr", but i've always added the "my laster" for emphasis. As you recall, i was in the communications field in the Navy and "zfr my laster" is radio code for "disregard my last transmission." Okay?

Okay. Why didn't you just stop at "i take that back"? Wouldn't that have been easier than going throungh all this?

I don't know, i was lost in the moment. And "lost" is what i'm trying to discuss right now.
So, as i was saying, i was driving on Saturday, riding alongside the wave in my world, and the usual event occured several times: to wit, i kept getting lost. But this time, did i get bent out of shape and rouse the snakes in my head about the situation? Did i rage at events i could not control in the past? No, no, and no. Did my new friend get aggravated at my lack of navigation skills?

(Lifts right eyebrow quizzically, but says naught.)

No, no he did not get vexed with me as I meandered past my turn-off and had to circle back on not one, not two, but on three separate occasions. THREE. Collectively, the three incidents probably added an hour, maybe ninety minutes, to our trip. But he did not lose his temper with me.

Patience of Job, eh?

No, i don't think that was it at all. We were both busy talking, sharing important life passages and thoughts about friends and tales of old lovers. Not only were we talking, but we were listening, engaging our minds with each other's words. And so we kept getting lost.

Because you were listening to each other. That's your take-home message? You lack the ability to listen and drive at the same time?

Exactly.

Dear one, you are going to have to give me more than that. You are surely not stating that you cannot listen while driving?

Well, that's not quite what I'm saying, but it's close. And it's made me realize something very important, something which will help me both in being a better navigator and in being more forgiving of myself when i do get lost in the future. I can drive and listen, but i cannot read road signs, too.

Yeeeaaahhh. Does this mean the radio needs to be off when you drive?

That's right! You got it! If I'm listening to the music and singing along while keeping my ton of death machine from careening off the road or into other vehicles, then i may as well PLAN on getting lost.
Seriously. This is a BIG realization for me.
And on Saturday, i was driving, and doing it successfully, while he and i were talking. But i was not reading road signs. I was watching the road, meaning that i was paying attention to my car's position ON the road and the correlation between the car's position and other vehicles ahead, beside, and behind, trying to maintain a safe relation and safe speed. And i was listening to - not just hearing - his words. And i was responding, talking to him, sharing important bits of my life and my mind and my heart. And neither of us were watching the road signs for direction and exits and mileage.
We could always get back to where we needed to be. There was always a place ahead to turn around, return to the correct direction. I would have him watch for the sign we sought while i continued to concentrate on safe passage for the two of us. And he would help get us back on track, no snide comments, no signs of exasperation, no impatience. Very nice.

Oh. Oh! Really?

Yes. Saturday was a very nice experience, thanks in large part to him. I am truly fortunate to have him in my life.

That's all very nice, but we were discussing navigation and driving...?

Yes, i guess we were. And where was i? Oh, yes, my inability to do three intensive acts simultaneously. Surely you've noticed before that when i'm driving down a street, looking for a coss street, that i sometimes have to turn off the radio so i can concentrate better on finding the desired street or the designated house on that street?

Sure. You do that trick quite a bit.

Well, i am not the only one who does. Studies have shown that folks sometimes need to limit sensory input from one of the senses to better serve a specific sense. In fact, after reading the story about that study, i started experimenting for myself and found some substance to its claim.
My new findings are an extension of my previous research on the effect of sensory overload on mental comprehension. If my eyes and touch are deeply involved with the act of driving, then my sight is not going to wander far from the road without warrant. And if my ears and mouth are also deeply engaged in activity, then my brain is working on processing that additional input, too, to formulate thought and expression of that thought. There is simply not the ability to process words seen into their definitions, causing exit signs to be overlooked. This is especially true as night falls or in the case of inclement weather, when the interpretation of the inputs from sight and touch become even more vital behind the wheel.
So, the next time i drive with him, i'll ask him to help navigate by watching for the exits or streets we need.
And the next time i'm riding solo, i'll write myself some explicit directions and familiarize myself with them before entering my car... an action i have been doing to fairly good success, though certainly not fool-proof. And should i find myself a fool, lost once more, i will try to find the humor - and i'll turn off the radio and circle back for one more try.