vultures, eskimos, and more!

More lovely, delectable, scrumdiddli-icious puns!!!
Are you excited?
I am!

These are, as usual, from the outlaw Bunny's mother.

I know puns can be kinda goofy, but some of these are really good!

1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead
raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry,
gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to
Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind
in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second
one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they
lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you
can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

4. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He
slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man
who shot my paw."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during
a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament
victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the
office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?", one asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an
open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of
them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other
goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later,
Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon
receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes
she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds,
"They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they
opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone
liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist
across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the
good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back
and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the
rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most
vicious thug in town, to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up
the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they
didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving
that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the
time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with
his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him
....what? (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) ...A super
callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was a woman who sent ten different puns
to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would
make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.