horoscope crystal balls

At the beginning of this year, one of the local entertainment weekly newspapers had the following horoscope for me.

Here are some of the experiences I hope to help you harvest in the coming year: growing pains that are interesting and invigorating rather than stressful; future shock that feels like a fun joyride rather than a bumpy rumble; two totally new and original ways to get excited; a good reason to have faith in a dream that has previously been improbable; a fresh supply of Innocent Crazy-Wise Love Truth; and access to all the borogoves, mome raths, and slithy toves you could ever want.

Honestly, it was that bit about the borogoves that hooked my interest enough that I clipped out the horoscope and taped it to my kitchen cabinet, under my calendar. Periodically I would review the short paragraph, to reaffirm what I recalled of its forecast and to wonder when any of it would come to pass.
Today, the last day of this year, I thought an analysis was needed to see if the author had some divine link to the future - or was just stringing some random thoughts together for entertainment.
In other words: which is more on point, the horoscope, the Dove promises, or the fortune cookie?
Then again... isn't there something else I should be doing right now?
Probably.
Bye!