GOB: Company

This Sondheim musical was all about friendship and love and the changes that occur over the course of time.

I felt it was speaking directly to me!

After I married and moved back to Savannah, I was out of step with most of my college friends, as they'd moved and married and had children.

Fortunately, my husband ran a trivia game at Sam Fink's Deli and soon I had the beginnings of a new group of friends: Doug, Monica, Rob, Jason, Kristen, Sue, John, Lynita, JinHi.

Within that first decade, they'd become couples, like us, but we'd still all get together regularly for Sand Gnats baseball, playing pool with Doug, swimming pool parties with Rob, going to theatre featuring JinHi, parties at Monica's A-frame, cookouts at our place.

Things slowed down when the children started coming, but our group of friends were locked in, solid, always there for each other.

Then Jeff and I divorced.

I tried to maintain those friendships, but one of the wives didn't want me around playing pool anymore... and Monica was kicked out of that club, too, for being single... and Sue was in Okinawa... John had moved to Pooler... and the dynamics were gone.

So I got involved with other groups: Philo Cafe, Drinking Liberally, Mensa, No Kidding!, Wednesday Night Suppers at Asbury Memorial.

Between the four of them, I started having a new group of close friends: Barbara, Sandy, Lauri, Lynn, Christa, Bonnie.

Most of them were in other groups, too, that I joined: Women's Social Network, Couples and Others, plus a few more on the Meetup.com site. 

However, it remained true that Barbara, Sandy, Christa, Lauri, and Lynn really hit it off!

The five of us, being over 40, really were tight, going out to eat or to shows or to movies, having parties at each other's houses, together almost every weekend.

Then, a few years ago, Lauri and her mom, Lynn, moved to Kissimmee, having wearied of life on Tybee and the Bananas' circus.

Christa died in December of 2022.

Barbara was killed in July of 2024.

Of course, I have other friends I've made along the way, but not close ones.

Science has shown that true friendships take a minimum of 200 hours together to form; close friendships, like best friends, take much more than that.

That's a lot of time.

That's why making friends gets harder with age, because careers and family life take away from time needed to build new relationships. 

That's why most close friendships are those formed at school, whether high school or college, as the same groups of people in a major are together in the same classes for several years and manage to find other common bonds.

I still have best friends from those days, though much physical distance separates us.

However, of the two closest friends I have now, one rarely drives due to narcolepsy, and the other's car is so full that no one can ride with her.  

My brothers don't understand how it is that I have a problem finding a ride now that my car is in the shop.

They know I know a lot of people, but don't get it that I don't feel that I know anyone enough to ask for a favor like picking me up, taking me somewhere, and than returning me home.

Barbara and I handled that for each other.

Sigh.

However, on Friday, while talking with Smitty at dinner, I had the thought on how to get a ride to Asbury for today.

After all, this wasn't just a regular Sunday.

This was the first Sunday of the month, meaning we would have Communion as well as the Big Coffee Hour.

Plus, this being October, it was the first God On Broadway sermon! 

So, I checked on the event page on fb for others who said they would be coming, then I chose one to message for a ride.

Sherry Giddens, who I'd dined with on multiple occasions during WNS, contacted me right back!

Yes, she would gladly give me a lift!

And, so, I was there!!!

Sherry sat in the back with a woman named Marty, but I moved up to the fourth row, on the right.

That's about where I try to sit each time, near the windows and the choir.

From the very first song, I realized that I knew "Company" after all!

Right place, right time. 

"Another Hundred People" sounded so much like "Beautiful" that I knew it, too, was inspired by all the moving masses in New York City.

How did newcomers there make friends so they would have a support network? 

Through work and church, mostly, same as most adults that move to a new location where they know no one.

That wasn't the case in this musical, though.

'Bobby' was turning 35 and his best friends, all female and now married, threw him a surprise party to celebrate.

That got him thinking about his options with the girlfriends he was dating.

How to decide on marriage or continued single life?

Ryan McCurdy was back from NYC for that role, to our good fortune.

I do so love how much he gives to his portrayals!

Many thanks, Sherry, for your kindness today!

I do look forward to becoming a true friend to you.

(smile!)

returning for a Modern Wedding

Actually, it was a reception. The wedding was last weekend, in Maryland.
This reception was for all to celebrate the marriage of Deborah to Kimmi, her love of the last seven years. What truly blessed times we live in that these two have been allowed to pledge their troth, for the rest of their lives, in front of God, country, and the world!
Truth to tell, I almost didn't make it there.
It's been wonderful these past three days, but driving in the mountains, whether they are in North Carolina, Tennessee, or Georgia, has been physically exhausting. Sure, it's pretty country, you bet. But, as the driver, you really don't get to enjoy much of the scenery, except in a large sense. You know what I mean? About the time you can focus in on that span of rapids, the road swerves and you must swerve, too, or crash through the guard rail and into the river. Or you notice that the pine trees on top of the mountain ridges look very much like the stray hairs on an old man's head - but then have to snap your attention back on the twisting gray serpent beneath your tires or risk a ride down a steep, seemingly bottomless, ravine just five feet to your right.
Now, picture doing that for hours and hours, for three days running.
Exhausting.
But my mental and emotional states are in fine form! My planned visit with my youngest brother this morning went very well, with him waiting on my arrival to the visitation room. Usually, it's the other way around. He is not allowed to come to visitation until he has showered and shaved and donned his finest prison garb. That takes a little time. This time, he knew a month ago that I was coming and when I would arrive and when I needed to leave.
I definitely need to be sure to work it that way in the future.
We had a very good visit for nearly four hours! What a great improvement over the last time I was able to see him. I know that part of the reason was the preparation beforehand.
Again, I need to be mindful of that in the future.
I hold told him in the letter that I needed to depart by 1 PM so I could arrive home in time for the wedding reception. Cool. At noon, he went to the guard desk to ask that they bring in the package of his books and papers that would be traveling home with me. And they very nicely compiled, bringing out a heavy box a few minutes before I was to leave. When I signed for the box, I saw it had only been approved on Monday.
Whew, that was cutting it close! So, I need to allow more than four weeks notice for such things in the future. But, for now, his Concordance, two Bibles, and envelope of old mail and study guides were out of his locker, allowing space for new possessions.
This is the second time since his arrival there that I have been allowed to help him save some of his meager possessions. He has been in Summerville since May of 2011.
Anyway, as I said, we had a very good visit, swapping stories of my travels and the family for tales of life under the new guard and his current living space. Then I collected the box, we gave each other our last hugs, and I retrieved my driver's license and keys from the security shack and got back in my car for the drive home.
As soon as I sat, I realized how drained I was.
Apparently, my body is not as young as it once was and cannot handle such long rides of constant attention in mountainous country. I was absolutely exhausted, and I had a six-hour drive ahead of me.
So, I made frequent stops. Oh, let's get some lunch and iced tea. Okay, time to stop and let some fluids out of my body! But a cold lemon-flavored water would be good to revive me. And now it's time to stop again.
Thank God I had the presence of mind to avoid the idiocy of that stretch of I-75 that services McDonough and Jonesboro. Those people cannot drive on interstates, yet they persist in trying, nearly killing the rest of us. No, not me, not this time. I took 20-East until I hit 441-South, following that to Dublin and I-16-East and home. A little variation to keep my mind from wandering, especially as tired as I was.
I also went straight - pardon me, "gently curving" - to the VFW Post 660, which was hosting the wedding reception. I arrived at the same time as the newlyweds! Whew! What good fortune!
And now, after a fun time with them and old friends I hadn't seen for a while and new friends that I don't see enough, I am home.
Time for bed and sweet dreams, y'all.