shortest. job. ever.

It was the shortest, and strangest, period of employment I have ever had.
No, I was not employed at the lingerie store.
I had been hired as an inspector by a vacation rental agency.
Today was my final day.
Let me tell you how it all began.

Two of my nieces, one of my nephews, and two friends of mine already work at this establishment, in various capacities. One of my nieces had known of the need for inspectors. Inspectors are those people who check the properties after cleaning and prior to guests checking in. In other words, inspectors are the ones who check the work of the housekeepers and take care of any little things left to do.
Sweet! That definitely sounded like work I could handle, especially as I had heard my niece discuss it on several occasions. The hours sounded good to me and I could work part-time, so I submitted my resume online and waited to hear back.
Did I receive a phone call from a supervisor to arrange an interview? How about an official email message from the Human Resources department to request my presence?
No and no.
I received a text message query from my niece. On Wednesday, September 2, she asked, "Can you come for an interview tomorrow?"
Seriously.
I responded that I had car repairs already scheduled for that day and could not, but how about Tuesday? Would that work for the person in charge?
My niece responded that it would and that it was "more of a hiring than an interview."
Curiouser and curiouser.
On the designated day of September 8th, I arrived early, dressed for the interview. An hour later, I walked out with the Employee Handbook and a handshake. Success! The job required four days of training, with my first day scheduled for Friday, the 11th. Okay! First day of home games for the Sand Gnats at the Playoffs, but I would just plan to go straight to the stadium. No worries!
Still no "welcome to the team" official emails, no "glad to have you onboard" phone calls from the people in charge.
Odd, right?
Friday arrives and I'm there early, waiting for the trainer to come in. Meanwhile, her supervisor takes me to the supply room and shows me where things are. She also helps me set up my cleaning caddie and restocking bin, telling me she would make name labels for them later.
The trainer arrives and off we go, after pulling filters for the units we are to check. We gather linens at another location, then arrive at the first property to be checked. What chaos! Sand on the floor, sand on the counters, sand in the drawers, sand on the furniture. No hospital corners on the beds, missing hand towels on the sinks, soiled blankets and stained pillows in the closets.
Seriously, I thought it was left that way on purpose so I would see what was wrong with it. Surely the housekeeping staff was not that negligent... right?
On to the next property, a few blocks away. We had barely started when we were pulled off to check another property, not one on our agenda. Another callback, as it turned out. Then we returned to the interrupted inspection and finished it, moving on. We had a total of seven properties, ranging in size from four-bedroom houses to one-bedroom condos, that we were scheduled to inspect. We managed to finish five of them, as well as two that were not originally ours, and we cleaned two grills that had been missed by the housekeepers. Ugh. A very full day of trudging up and down stairs, up and down stairs, up and down stairs, with me in shoes that were totally wrong for the job.
Still, I made it to the ballgame just fine, so all was good. Then the Sand Gnats won the game - woohoo!
My next training day was Tuesday, the 15th. I arrived early, this time with a snack and a water bottle. You see, there is no stopping for meals, at least not with this trainer. On Tuesday, she had teased me about stopping for lunch after a particular property, then we had been called to another just as I had placed my order at the Arby's. I drank the soda and ate fries to the new property, then had to wait on the sandwich until later. And it was already after 3 pm! No breaks that first day, not even for the bathroom.
This second day for me was different, though. Two others, a husband and wife team, were now training with me. The trainer had brought water for them, but first teased them about stopping for lunch, with no lunch ever happening. I guess that is part of the teaching process.
We did take a bathroom break, after the other woman asked if we could, after five hours of work.
That Tuesday was not a particularly good day for us. We were scheduled to inspect five properties. We only were able to do three of them and they were all callbacks. That means we had essentially wasted our time for eight hours.
Very frustrating for all of us.
To top things off, I was wearing new sneakers and wasn't very comfortable with them. I tripped on the last step while going up the exterior flight of steps, ending up sprawled on the porch, right in front of the other three. The trainer freaked out. I was okay, I really was, but she was totally freaked out.
The third training day for me was today. I was joined, once more, by the couple who were training and we had all brought drinks and snacks with us. Well, we had snacks; I was almost running late and had left my bottle of water in my car. No time to retrieve it!
Before we could even leave the office, the trainer and I had to go up to Human Resources. Why? The trainer had noted my fall on the steps and an accident report had to be filled out. Apparently, this was the first time the trainer had ever had to do such a thing.
I showed them the small bruise on my knee, signed off that I was fine, and we were finally on our way to the ten properties of the day.
That's right: ten properties to inspect.
With a trainer in a bad mood.
The very first one was a HUGE house! Dirty grill, dirty sheets in the master bedroom, broken furniture on the porch - nothing that improved her mood. I found a dirty paper plate and wad of tinfoil in a planter that someone had used as a trashcan. No telling how long that had languished. The trainer graced me with a "Good work, Tina." She even said it twice! Okay, definite progress!
It was a callback, so we documented all that needed to be done, then went to our next property. Just a few minor touch-ups and we proceeded along. Honestly, we had a much better day and even managed to cross off eight of the properties assigned to us! The guy bumped his head twice, once on the tailgate of her van and once on the underside of an exterior stairwell at one of the properties, so the trainer will get more experience with writing accident reports. But not on me! I was going up and down stairs with nary a problem!
The last property we inspected was mine, too. That means, I acted as lead person, checking for any errors left behind by the housekeepers. It was a three-story house, too, and I did really well with it! I even found a scummy shower curtain liner (and had the trainer's help changing it out) and an earring under one of the beds!
But by that time, the trainer was hurrying me along. "Nancy needs to talk with us, we need to hurry up." "Nancy is waiting for us, we need to get back to the office." "We need to go to the office before Nancy leaves."
O-kay. But first, let's finish this property, right?
So, we get back to the office. The trainer goes to talk with Nancy first, then I got called in and the trainer left. Doors were closed.
That can't be good, I thought. I wondered if this was also about the trip on the stairs on Tuesday.
No.
This was about me getting fired for "not enough attention to detail". Say what? This had been a stellar day for me! I had even won praise from the trainer at two of the properties!
I think my getting let go had more to do with the fall up the step than on my "skillset" for the job of inspector.
At least they're going to keep my resume on file in case they have any openings that would better fit my skills.
But I won't be holding my breath.

bereft of Sand Gnats

"Stale pastry is hollow succor to a man bereft of ostrich."
Sheldon spoke those words to Penny on "The Big Bang Theory". She had brought leftover cheesecake to cheer him up after some of his imaginary stuff had been stolen online.
I totally understand his loss.
The Savannah Sand Gnats have been stolen away, hijacked to Columbia, South Carolina, after twenty years, by a gingerbread man chasing capital.
At least the name stays here.
But not the ball club.
Tonight was the very last game.
An amazing summer of incredible games led to an assured berth in the South Atlantic League Championship Play-Offs. Last night's second game had them tied with the Asheville Tourists, forcing a third game.
Tonight, after a valiant effort, the Sand Gnats have fielded their last ball, swung their last bat, thrown their last pitch in this seaport town.
I sat in my car and cried for thirty minutes after the game.
More tears will soon fall.
I am so going to miss being part of their cheering crowd.
I am so going to miss my boys of summer.

schrodinger's master cylinder

Yesterday, a new master cylinder was installed in my car.
This is the second one since the accident.
The first was installed about three weeks ago. I had noticed a clicking sound when I depressed the clutch, but I had thought maybe it was from the master cylinder wearing in.
I was wrong.
That was not normal.
I had called Dixie Motors about it and they had asked that I bring it back and they would replace it for me.
Apparently, master cylinders are like Schrodinger's cat. In short, you don't know if the one in the box is "alive" or "dead" until you install it and see if (and how) it works.
Rats.
Let's hope this one is alive.

goodbye, dear Gnats

Admittedly, in years past, I have taken my boys of summer a little for granted, with spotty attendance for the home games.
Not so this year.
This was, after all, their last year here.
True, there will still be baseball at the stadium, but... it will not be the same, of course. "The same, but different", as one of my Lunch Ladies would say.
Last night was the final game of the season. Even though school has begun and I had lecture and lab responsibilities, I was there anyway, hoping to soak up those last innings. Turns out the field was too soggy for play, but I was still allowed to throw a first pitch. Hooray!

[This photo is from the Sand Gnats' facebook page.]

Sure, the Savannah Sand Gnats will be back for a Playoff game on the 11th, but that isn't part of the regular season. That's extra baseball because the boys have played so well this year. They won the first half of the SAL season in the Southern Division, with 39 wins out of 70 games played, guaranteeing them a slot in the Playoffs. (Amazingly, they've done that for five of the last six years.)
To top it off, they made an amazing comeback, including a 19-game winning streak, to also win the second half, with 44 wins (and a tied game) out of 65 games played. That bodes well for them becoming the SAL Champions once more.
How awesome that would be before they are forced to go to Columbia, SC! Up on top, with a BANG!, not a whimper.
However it may turn out, I have certainly enjoyed these twenty years in their company.
And these past five months especially, bittersweet as they may have been at times. I have had to concentrate only on the game at hand as I cheered them on. To allow my thoughts to wander to the finality ahead would have had me in tears at every game.
That's a lot of tears.
The first home game was back in April, ya know.
It's now September and there have been seventy-two home games, though some of those dates were rain-outs in other towns, leading to doubleheaders here. (The southeast has a bit of a rainy season in the summer.)
Again, that's a lot of tears.

Bill and I split the Season Tickets this year. Each of us had thirty home tickets. I gave him all of the Thirsty Thursday tickets and the "Bark in the Park" Sunday ones, too, for him and Tucker. He had all of the Dollar Monday games, too. That way, he had tickets to share with others! After all, who would use an $8 ticket when one buck is all that is needed?
(smile)
He got the Monday and Wednesday tickets for those nights in April, May, and August when I had class and lab. Plus, I gave him the June tickets for those travel days I had already planned to Alabama, North Carolina, and south Florida.
(By the way, I had deliberately chosen the dates in June to coincide with a minimal number of missed games. Planning is good!)

Like I said, we both had thirty home games, not including the two extra games which were played here for rain-outs elsewhere. All in all, there were twelve days that had doubleheaders, either here or away and only two games that did not get played, anywhere, because of rain.
That's pretty amazing, especially when you consider how much rain falls in July and August. I don't know if anyone has kept statistics on such things. I've only taken the time to tabulate it because it was the last summer at Grayson Stadium for my boys.
Bill and I actually made it to four games together this year! His work schedule tends to get in the way, but we hit the ground running for the very first game, and even made it to another game the next week in April! That was it until my birthday in May, when he sprang for box seats on the third base line. July 2 saw us together again, shouting encouragement and telling the Sand Gnats to "get a hit, hit, hit!" And we managed to get in one more time, just a few days ago, during a doubleheader against Augusta, when he joined me for the second game.
That's not to say I went solo to those other games. Oh, no! My first niece and her family joined me several times, as did my karaoke buddy, Sandy. There was even a night there with Live Out Loud!
And on those occasions when I did go stag to the game, I was never alone. I had the company of other regulars, like Mister Willie Smith, Bruce the Riverdog fan, the Tuten Boys (Jack and his dad), Fran Luce and her husband Jim, and, of course, the "Sweet Caroline" girls, Lauri and Lynn Engler. There were other regulars, too, like Candace and her dad, that I knew passing well.
I'm going to miss being with this crowd.
Some I will still see, but others are out of my regular loops. The only time I ever saw those folks was at the games.
Still, we will meet again. We have a Playoff game on the 11th, and perhaps another on the 12th.
I can hardly wait!

a social application of math

One of the things I most enjoy about facebook are the opportunities of learning afforded me by my friends. We cannot all walk the same paths, but we can share portions of our paths with the world.
This is one such insight shared by my "Sweet Caroline" Lynn.
Many thanks.

****** ***** ***** ***** *****

This is an article that needs to be repeated:
Every Friday afternoon Chase’s teacher asks her students to take out a piece of paper and write down the names of four children with whom they’d like to sit the following week. The children know that these requests may or may not be honored. She also asks the students to nominate one student whom they believe has been an exceptional classroom citizen that week. All ballots are privately submitted to her.

And every single Friday afternoon, after the students go home, Chase’s teacher takes out those slips of paper, places them in front of her and studies them. She looks for patterns.

Who is not getting requested by anyone else?
Who doesn’t even know who to request?
Who never gets noticed enough to be nominated?
Who had a million friends last week and none this week?

You see, Chase’s teacher is not looking for a new seating chart or “exceptional citizens.” Chase’s teacher is looking for lonely children. She’s looking for children who are struggling to connect with other children. She’s identifying the little ones who are falling through the cracks of the class’s social life. She is discovering whose gifts are going unnoticed by their peers. And she’s pinning down- right away- who’s being bullied and who is doing the bullying.

As a teacher, parent, and lover of all children – I think that this is the most brilliant Love Ninja strategy I have ever encountered. It’s like taking an X-ray of a classroom to see beneath the surface of things and into the hearts of students. It is like mining for gold – the gold being those little ones who need a little help – who need adults to step in and TEACH them how to make friends, how to ask others to play, how to join a group, or how to share their gifts with others. And it’s a bully deterrent because every teacher knows that bullying usually happens outside of her eyeshot – and that often kids being bullied are too intimidated to share. But as she said – the truth comes out on those safe, private, little sheets of paper.

As Chase’s teacher explained this simple, ingenious idea – I stared at her with my mouth hanging open. “How long have you been using this system?” I said.
Ever since Columbine, she said. Every single Friday afternoon since Columbine.

Good Lord.

This brilliant woman watched Columbine knowing that ALL VIOLENCE BEGINS WITH DISCONNECTION. All outward violence begins as inner loneliness. She watched that tragedy KNOWING that children who aren’t being noticed will eventually resort to being noticed by any means necessary.

And so she decided to start fighting violence early and often, and with the world within her reach. What Chase’s teacher is doing when she sits in her empty classroom studying those lists written with shaky 11 year old hands - is SAVING LIVES. I am convinced of it. She is saving lives.

And what this mathematician has learned while using this system is something she really already knew: that everything – even love, even belonging – has a pattern to it. And she finds those patterns through those lists – she breaks the codes of disconnection. And then she gets lonely kids the help they need. It’s math to her. It’s MATH.

All is love- even math. Amazing.

Chase’s teacher retires this year – after decades of saving lives. What a way to spend a life: looking for patterns of love and loneliness. Stepping in, every single day- and altering the trajectory of our world.

TEACH ON, WARRIORS. You are the first responders, the front line, the disconnection detectives, and the best and ONLY hope we’ve got for a better world. What you do in those classrooms when no one is watching- it’s our best hope.

--- Bill Clay

jokes for engineers*

* and those who love them!
My thanks to my outlaw Bunny's mom!

***** ***** *****

Understanding
Engineers #1

Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman
rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: the clothes probably wouldn't have fit
you anyway."

***** ***** *****

Understanding
Engineers #2

To the optimist,
the glass is half-full.

To the pessimist, the
glass is half-empty.

To the engineer,
the glass is twice as big as it
needs to be.

***** ***** *****

Understanding
Engineers #3

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golfers!!

The priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him."

He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our
clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for nothing any time they want."

The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if here's anything she can do
for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they just play at night?"

***** ***** *****

Understanding
Engineers #4

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons.

Civil engineers build targets.

***** ***** *****

Understanding
Engineers #5

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

***** ***** *****

Understanding
Engineers #7

Normal people
believe that if it ain't broke,
don't fix it.

Engineers
believe that if it ain't broke, it
doesn't have enough features yet.

***** ***** *****

Understanding
Engineers #8

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a
beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want."

Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with
you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's really
cool."

poison i-i-i-vy

Hey, Dood!

I thank you for the photo of us! very nice! I'll try to get a copy this week so you can have it, too.

I'm so glad you have work that keeps your mind and hands busy. What a blessing! I wish I could see that taser cabinet you made - it sounds like a work of art and love. You are so talented with carpentry! I remember that swing you made for Mama and how much she had enjoyed it. Hard to believe how long ago that was.

On Thursday, I went to the VA Clinic about my poison ivy. I had worked in the yard last Saturday and NOT covered up my arms or legs. I did wear my gloves, but it was too hot to wear long pants and long sleeves.

By Wednesday, the wreck on my left arm had spread across my belly and right arm and left leg. Both legs were already pretty scratched up from the blackberry brambles and sticker vines. It's been a real trial, but it's getting better now, since I was put on Zyrtec (daytime), Benadryl (at night), and a 14-day regimen of Prednisone. That's not including the steroid shot they gave me there, or the Calamine lotion and hydrocortisone cream to use as needed. At least the itch is gone - mostly.

School began on the 17th. The students seem to be settling in quite well so far. I'll give them their first test on the 31st.

The Sand Gnats' season is drawing to a close. There's a doubleheader today, due to the rain-out yesterday. If they win both games, they'll have 19 games in this winning streak! G, Gnats!

with my love