wednesday with the physicist!

This was another movie outing, but one that was much better than the last!

As it happens, I had been interested in this movie about Anthony Bourdain's early years, so I was glad to see it on the marquee at NCG Cinema.

Of course, I would have preferred to have it at the AMC, so it could go onto my A*List, but that's okay.

I still treated him for "Tony", the movie.

(smile!) 

And we both very much enjoyed being privy to his youth!

What an impetuous teenager he had been, quick with his hands to find a fight, easily led astray by strong-willed coworkers. 

He even played hookie from college to chase down 'Nancy', a girl he had taken a fancy to in high school.

His saving grace had been 'Chef', the man who let the teen sleep on his porch, even giving him a job in his restaurant, and eventually teaching him the trade.

Afterward, when the bfe asked me where to dine, I knew at once: O.D.'s Seafood, just down the sidewalk!

The rain earlier had actually cooled things off, so we elected to walk.

Yes, the hitch in my giddy-up slowed us down, but that was fine, as it gave us more time to talk.

I think he was very pleased with the prices, and even more with the food.

I had the mixed platter with shrimp and chicken fingers; he had the same, but with catfish instead of the chicken.

We both ate every bit of them, too, as we chatted about the opera festival, Wendy, various TV programs, music... whatever came to mind!

Then he paid and we had a leisurely stroll back to our cars.

Very nice!

I wonder what movie he'll like next?

(smile!) 

bday80 and bday68 dinners with friends!

Bet that's a bit confusing, isn't it?

Let me straighten it out, shall I?

My dear friend Carolyn turned 80 years old last Friday, but was quite busy being regaled by others - hooray!

Yesterday was finally my turn to fete her!

Her choice was Texas Roadhouse, so she could have that country fried chicken in white gravy again.

I'm so glad to have been able to bring a smile to her face with that birthday dinner!

I chose the grilled salmon - always so delicious!

Then off we went for an evening movie! 

Wonder of wonders, neither of us had yet seen "Spider-Man: Brand New Day", which has finished a very successful opening weekend.

The Big-D screening was at 5 PM, which was perfect after our 3 PM slunch.

What an exciting film!

Seeing it in Big-D for the first time was definitely the right decision, as the webslinger was back and forth across that great expanse of silver screen again and again!

We both loved it, especially that "Big" moment between 'Peter' and 'Ned' at the film's end.  

Very touching, literally and figuratively!!!

Still, as entertaining as the movie was, and as much of blockbuster as it is, we both agreed that we felt a bit lost watching it. 

After all, it's been five years since the last movie in this series with Tom Holland, and 'Peter' had been an aggravating teenager then.

That would mean the now 30-year-old actor is portraying a 23-year-old character, albeit a 'Peter' who appears older as he has been bereft of his two best friends for those five years. 

I can attest that loss will certainly age a person.

In his case, it had been his decision to ask Dr. Strange to wipe out memory of him from the minds of 'MJ' and "Ned', so there's that.

Bear in mind that he was a teenaged boy making bad decisions.

Now, he's been living with the repercussions of that decision and it's starting to work on his lust for life.

So far, I get all of that.

But how does that tie in with 'Black Widow' and 'The Hulk'?

I very much feel a need to rewatch some of the earlier movies!

 

So what about that "bday68 dinner" stuff?

That's all about me!

The physicist has returned from his summer vacation in oHIo and this is our first get-together since April.

Want to have three guesses where we were?

You got it: Texas Roadhouse!

The manager even said she recognized us, which threw him for a loop until I explained about being there yesterday with Carolyn - hahaha!

I again had the salmon, but with fries instead of the baked sweet potato.

There was one more difference - this time, I was the one treated to the free birthday dinner!

Many thanks, my bfe!!!

So wonderful to catch up with him after so long, too.

I had suggested several movies, but he wasn't interested in any of them, not even the two with Olivia Wilde.

That was a surprise, but I think he's just in such a more relaxed state after almost two months with Jeannette.

I am so glad that he's happy and in love again!

Now, how to wrangle an invite to his condo near Bell's Landing so I can check out his new digs in the 'Vannah?

I'll have to suggest a pizza and movie night in the next few weeks.

(smile!)

ice cream as summer nears!

First, let's start with the dessert, shall we?

Most assuredly, YES!!!

Mickie Townsend was holding the bowl with three scoops of vanilla ice cream as I approached the table.

Yes, please!!!

Farther down, someone was waiting with caramel syrup and chocolate sprinkles.

That's perfect!!!

There were other choices, but those two toppings, and that flavor of ice cream, were exactly what I wanted.

I even made sure to bring little Lactaid pills with me for the occasion! 

This was the first public performance for the VBS kids and the ice cream social was to lure in folks who weren't their family.

A free musical at Asbury Memorial Church?

Of course I was there!!!

I even clapped along with the "Snowball Mountain Challenge" songs.

Next year, I intend to be a volunteer again.

I've missed being part of VBS! 

And I did mention something about summer coming up, didn't I?

Well, that's for real, as the WSAV weather song confirms.

It's practically a monotone, but there are some slight temperature shifts.

I guess that makes it more of a chant than a melody!

Speaking of chanting, the physicist is off doing that right now!

He calls it "Sesshin" and it's in Minnesota/Wisconsin, which is confusing, as I am sure it is only in one state.

He'll be going from that Buddhist retreat to his gal in Ohio, so I won't see him until sometime in July.

Meanwhile, I've busied myself with errands today, like depositing an actual check in the bank. 

I don't get many of those!

This one was from a settlement that AARP had with someone in California about video privacy protection.

Thanks for including me and others in that suit!

That $96.56 doesn't sound like much, but it will buy me entrance to four plays or musicals or concerts.

Thank you!!!

While I'm expressing my gratitude, let me give a shout-out to Zaxby's!

They gave me 50% off on any order and I used it for this Grilled Chicken Zenzations Zalad.

Talking to my stepmom last week about Conner's graduation brought to mind our meetings at the Zaxby's or Wendy's in Bluffton from time to time.

This salad was one of our favorites.

Trust me, it fills the take-out box; I took out half for tonight's dinner.

Yes, that means I had my dessert first!

(smile!) 

That ice cream sure was good as an appetizer!!!

(smile!)

definitely not sushi

Imagine a deconstructed sushi roll.

Now, remove the part that makes it 'sushi'.

That's the rice, jsyk.

Finally, roll the other ingredients gently into a ginger salad.

That's what I had for dinner tonight at Sushi Hana.

That's were I met the physicist, for his very first time eating there.

Surprising, right?

After all, he lives and works close to that new restaurant.

He loved it, by the way!

He even had leftover veggie tempura to take home.

Even the appetizer had been vegetarian: Age Tofu.

I know his folks have gone vegetarian, because we talked about how his Christmas dinner with them had been.

I definitely had the much better time with my brothers and the prime rib beat what he had, hands down.

I think I definitely had the better meal tonight, too.

Just look at that beauty!

The menu calls it Tuna Avocado Salad.

I had expected something more akin to Edomae chirashizushi, with chunked up pieces of the fish and fruit.

This was decidedly not that!

It truly was as if a tuna avocado roll had been unrolled, with the rice removed, and then gently placed over a salad with ginger dressing.

Simply gorgeous...

and a delight to eat!

I'll definitely have that again, or maybe the Salmon Avocado Salad...

and I bet the bfe will, too. 

Excellent choice for my second time this year, and third time overall!

Now, time for the new season of "Will Trent" - glad I taped it so I don't miss a minute!

happy birthday52 to the physicist!

"Wait! His birthday is still in Jeffvember, right?"

Correct you are, but he was off in o-HI-o to celebrate it, and Thanksgiving, with his girlfriend, Jeannette. She's definitely gotten his spirits up! So that's a very good thing. But between his trips there, her trips here, and his teaching and Buddhism schedules, he and I haven't seen each other since the pancake luncheon.

"That's been a hot minute!"

Actually, just a few months, but I'd become accustomed to seeing him every six weeks or so. Nice to see the smile is still in his eyes!

"Hey, are y'all at the Longhorn???"

We are! It had been his suggestion, but I'd quickly seconded the motion. I wanted to try that French Onion Soup that Carolyn had the last time I was there. Mighty tasty it was, too! And it paired well with the Crispy Brussels Sprouts! 

"Very nice! And I'm glad the weather was nice for y'all today."

Me, too! Both of us were hobbling along, him due his neuropathy in his legs, me because of the inguinal hernia in my right leg. I guess we're not as young as we were 13 years ago... but who is? We're still getting where we want to go, and even to a few places, perhaps, that we have to go. We even talked again about my trip to Iowa! (smile!) He's even talking about moving to Ohio in a couple of years. That would be very good for him. He needs love in his life! I had not realized how hard life with the 'Cole had become during the last part of their marriage.

"I'm glad he has the pet-sitter in his life, too. She seems to be pretty well grounded, if she's been able to impress upon him the importance of wills and Power of Attorney documents and that sort of thing."

I know! I had started talking to him about that stuff about a year ago and he had flat out said he didn't need them. Wrong! What would become of Emily The Cat if anything befell him? Sometimes, I swear he's still a 14-year-old boy. (smile!)

"Oh, yes, I can see that. He's got more in common with Sheldon Cooper than he thinks. It's all part and parcel of him being a pie-in-the-sky theoretical physicist.

"Hahahaha! You said it!"

Now, I'm going to watch "The Night Before", about a bunch of stoners ISO the ultimate New Year's Ever party: The Nutcracker Ball. I wonder if the bfe has ever seen this? I imagine he has, as it has Seth Rogen in it. I'll have to ask him 'bout that! (smile!)

tina tuesday with taenzer @ skio

So good to have these science lectures back on track!

Yes, it was an Evening at Skidaway, this time with a post-doc speaking.

Lucas Taenzer has been at the Skidaway Institute of Oceanography for some few months and already he's been called into action!

 

He spoke on "Hidden Paths Beneath The Waves: How The Open Ocean Shapes Coastal Waters", which was certainly based more in physics than anything else.

I guess I should have invited the physicist to come along!

I'll just have to make sure he sees the video.

Most of the talk concerned the very distinct layers of water which separate the deep, Golf Stream-warmed, Atlantic Ocean from the shallower - and cooler - waters near the eastern shore of the United States.

Those distinct bands act as an invisible, permeable, wall that exists at the edge of the continental shelf.

I was interested in how those bands came into play during hurricane activity.

However, that isn't something that lends itself well to experimentation and observation, as the waters are far too rough then. 

 

This photo is one of the coolest things, though!

Taenzer apparently thought so, too, as he had included it in his slides, though not in his actual talk.

Anyway, the image on the left is of phytoplankton activity, with green being most active and prevalent.

The image on the right shows the lights of a fleet of squid boats out fishing... and they are exactly in the "red" line, where phytoplankton are absent.

What I liked, though, were the lights along the coast, limning in precise detail the curves and inlets shown in the left image - very nice!

I do love how black and while photos contain so much detail!

not the usual fare at tybee

"What's that? Did you go to one of the staged readings they've been having at the Tybee Post Theatre?"

Nope. This wasn't even something I would have selected on my own. I'd been looking at them in the event listings for months, but not for me... for the physicist. He's been heavy into Eastern mythologies and meditation for about the last three years, at least.

"So you finally put it onto his radar?"

Nope! He texted me yesterday morning and proposed that we attend the "Sound Bath" today. How about that? And when I agreed, he bought the tickets, justthatfast, and we were set to go!

"Holy cow! That qualifies as spontaneous for him!"

Right?! So, at 5 PM he was here to whisk me down there for the 6 PM session with Carol Melton. I had thought he remembered her from Armstrong, but he did not. She worked in IT there and retired in 2016. Leading these experiences in meditation is what she's been doing the last few years. Hence, the huge collection of Tibetan singing bowls she has. She also has an Ocean drum (beads inside a drumhead,  making a sound much like a rain stick), several colorful quartz singing bowls, and even some chimes.

"And is that colorful item on the floor your towel?"

It is! We were to bring a towel and a pillow. She had yoga mats there, so I borrowed one of those, a bright green one to match my lemons shirt. Everyone liked that!

"Am I to understand that you got down on the floor?!?"

Eventually, yes. It took a while for me to talk myself into it. Then I wasn't there long before Carol sensed my unease and encouraged me to choose a seat out in the auditorium. That's when the trouble began. With the yoga mat below me, I couldn't get my footing and ended up falling. Carol and the bfe then helped for my next try, but not before my right knee got bruised from all that leaning on it. Honestly, I should have known better.

"Honestly, you should have. You know you never get down on the floor."

I do. I just felt I owed it to the physicist to give it a try.

"You're not getting weird on him, are you? Please say you aren't."

I am not getting weird on him, I promise. His lifestyle and mine really aren't compatible for coupleship to be a consideration. He's my best friend extraordinaire, now as he has been since 2012. I just wanted to show him by active participation that I respect his choices. And I want to emphasize that I did enjoy this! Carol had dimmed all the lights and I closed my eyes from where I sat in the front row, letting the various tones she pulled from the instruments wash over me for the duration. I'm pretty sure I even fell asleep!

"What? You must have gotten pretty mellow for that to happen."

As I told the bfe, I felt like I'd had a massage, but without a stranger touching me. That was great! He was a bit surprised about that, but he didn't question it.

"That's interesting, given y'all's history, but he just may bring it up some other time. He was busy driving when you were saying that. Driving is not something he does for fun."

True. He didn't bring it up during dinner at Chipotle's, either. I talked about Carol's former teaching at Armstrong, as well as her being part of the Asbury Memorial family. Then I talked about seeing Kate at Bonnie's party, as I knew he knew Kate and her husband Chris. It turned out that he hasn't seen her in several years. I told him, too, about Scott's loss of Axel and me being able to refer him to Fox and Weeks, as they took such good care of his two old lady cats, Contessa and Chloe. By that time in the evening, the rain that started as we got to the restaurant had eased up. Time for him to go check on Emily the Cat!

"Nice segue!"

Thanks! And guess what? He had misplaced his phone in his apartment. We had talked about that earlier, with me assuring him I had done that many times. I also told him that every time I did lose the device, I'd think, "Oh, I should call Christina and have her call me so I can find it"... lol!!! Anyway, as he returned my towel and pillow, I suggested I could call him and maybe he could find his phone. "Great idea!", he said, then jumped in his car to head for home! Vroom!!!"

"Hahahaha! I can just picture him doing that! And were y'all successful?"

We were! I called several times, letting it ring through, waiting for him to pick up, waiting a few minutes between calls. At last, he answered! The phone had slipped off the counter and into the trash bin below. Good thing he hadn't thrown out the bag yet!

"Indeed! That's a funny and fitting end to the evening!"

Yes it was! And he said he'd heard the phone vibrate four times before he found it. I told him I was sure I'd called five times. Well, I was mistaken, as I said in my text just now. "You were right! There were 4 calls, not 5. Like when the Borgs tried to mess with Picard."

"Leave him with a laugh! Very good!"

 

renegade of longhorn!

 

Here it is, another outing with the physicist come and gone, and all I have to show for it is a photograph of the food.

Seriously.

We were there four hours!!!

We shut the place down!!!

And, yet, I never managed to get a single photo of me and him together???

Apparently so. 

Sure, Longhorn closes at 10 PM on Wednesdays, so that's still fairly early.

But, the thing is, here's the thing: we'd been there since 6 PM and were done with the meal shortly after 8.

The waitress didn't mind, though, as the section was clearing out around us.

We weren't being loud or obnoxious, we were just talking... and talking... and talking.

We do that every time we get together.

(smile!)

I talked a little bit about my bday67 Girls' Trip, but he truly doesn't like anything that has to do with children, so I let that lapse after a brief recap.

Mostly, we talked about adult things, like the need for wills and power of attorneys, things that parents have that non-parents also need.

He spoke of his trip to see friends in New York, friends whose children are now in their teens, and the baseball games he had to go to with them.

He spoke of Jeannette, a petsitter he met, who makes $100,000 yearly at that job.

That tied in nicely with my Dane-sitting that I'd done, as well as the cat-sitter fees he gave Lea's daughter for watching Emily.

He spoke of the six days he spent in OhiO visiting his parents, trying to make it a worthwhile trip as he hasn't seen them in years.

We talked about various religions, ranging from Buddhism to Judaism, from Church of Christ to Pentecostal, from Methodist to Unitarian Universalist.

That was a very cool chat!

I'm so glad the bfe has such a good time talking to with me!

By the way, I'm one of four non-business people he talks to on the phone.

I know how much he dislikes being on the phone, so that makes me special.

(smile!)

2 days with the bfe - hooray!

Pizza and a movie at his place for Tina Tuesday -

and we got it right this time!

I picked up the Holy Pie! from Medical Arts on Waters Avenue, as it was his favorite.

Then we visited for a while before munching out on gorgeous salads he made, along with the pepperoni pizza and pineapple pizza - dinner and dessert!

On the tube was the music documentary he had waited to watch with me: "Biography: KISStory", made in 2021.

The thing is, here's the thing: Hulu had repackaged the 2-hour, 53-minute film into two parts, slicing in lots of 'mercials along the way.

This Jeff is usually pretty complacent about that sort of nonsense, but by the time it ended, he was done.

No need to watch "Part 2" if it was also to be rife with interruptions every few minutes in the last hour - nope!

Methinks Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley did a fantastic job of sharing the band's history and music with us in this first part!

 

Plus, it was a very nice way to catch up on each other's lives since the last time we saw each other, not even a week ago.

I told him about spending 3 hours of this pretty day working on renewing my Medicaid application, as that had inexplicably been stopped.

I found out when Social Security sent me a letter saying my check in May would be short about $500 to make up for Medicaid not paying for my Medicare insurance since March.

I just hate it when they decide these things and don't forewarn me!

Especially as I will have the city and county property taxes due at the start of June.

What the fresh hell???

Good thing me and the first niece decided already to party like the Orlando locals again when we go in a few weeks.

Plus, the hugs from the physicist helped settle me down...

and working under the moonlight to get the trees cut yesterday into the right-sized piles for pickup helped work off the angst, too.

(smile!)

Then, see how big, bad thunderstorms were forecast for today?

Well, they didn't arrive until nightfall.

He and I met to be "Sinners" - I mean, to see that movie - at 2 PM.

The skies were overcast, but not raining when we went in, nor were they throwing down water when we came out.

 

Off to Texas Roadhouse to dine we went, in need of sustenance after all those vampires and all that body-shaking, dancing, blues music!

I had the Killer Ribs, which he kidded me about the whole time.

He chose the catfish, of course.

Molly found out pretty quickly that we where there mostly to talk in between mouthfuls, so she let us alone, checking in periodically, but not enough to be a hassle.

And just what did we talk about this time?

Didn't we get enough said in our three hours' worth last night?

Oh, please... as if!

This time was all about different religions, the different undergraduate and graduate school experiences we'd had contrasted with those now at GaSoU, and just what "tenured" meant.

Yes, he has tenure, but that's no guarantee of employment these days.

The pressure is always on to produce research papers, as well as move hundreds of students through the freshman physics classes every year.

i thank You, God, that I took the opportunity to mark myself "retired" when I did in 2018.

Seven years into retirement now, I'm still sure I made the right move.

I do hope he will take that opportunity when it comes his way.

Perhaps having his first masters-seeking student will put some pep back in his step, some joie back into his vivre.

He needs a change for the better, and Emily the Cat is not enough.

 

Now, I have "Will Trent" with Christina and this one has a rodeo in it!

It has an odd title, too: "Push, Jump, Fall", but we'll find out what that means in police jargon soon enough.

I do wish I'd been able to got to the Kiwanis Rodeo a week or so ago when it was in Statesboro, but I would have had to stay overnight...

that was just too much money to spend this year.

At least I'll get a taste while Trenting!

(smile!)

egos and fins of old cars

Today, a Tuesday, I happened to be at the school for Spring Convocation. Well, that's what I meant to happen, but I dillydaddled around until I was truly only in time for the free lunch.
That's cool.
I then treated myself to a movie about a dalliance between a computer and a man. Hai had seen "Her" and spoken highly of it, and I was killing time southside, so I went.
I was the only one there.
That was the same situation he had experienced, too.
And we both found that to be okay, as the first twenty minutes or so are meant to make the viewer feel like a voyeur.
A little unsettling, to be sure.
The lead character was pretty unsettled, too, by that last "sexual" encounter. So he turned to a virtual companion.
That got pretty weird, too.
The part that was the most disturbing to me, though, were his pants. They were like old man pants, high-waisted, but beltless, and rendering him pretty gender-neutral.
Maybe that was the point.
Anyway, after the film, I contacted the physicist to see if he would like a ride home. You see, he had invited me to Chez Secrest for dinner and a movie - again! - and I just thought I'd save him the bus fare.
Too late. He had already fled north. After all, he had a dinner to make!
Then we proceeded to have this conversation about geometric shapes.

him: Be there or be a rhombus.
me: I choose parallelogram. :-) Pretty sure i spelled that wrong.
him: I find the parallelogram to be pleasing!
me: Like egos on old cars.
me: Like fins
him: I can see that.
me: Stupid word choices by my phone. Unless the egos of old cars are manifested in their fins.
him: They may be...
me: I would hate to think my phone knew that..

Actually, I wonder if anyone has ever researched the correlation between the size of the fins on those beautiful old vehicles and the egos of those who designed them? I could see that being a nice master's thesis for an art or psychology or maybe even an engineering graduate student.
So, the bfe and I dined on salmon tonight - yum!
he knows how much I enjoy seafood!
I had brought my favorite white wine to share with him. He rather enjoyed the monks' Blanc du Bois, too, and its crisp grapefruit tang worked like magic with the oily fish - very good combination!
Then we indulged in the sumptious feast which IS Mae West. No, really! He had come upon the film when he was out and about and knew my predilection for the divine Ms. West, so he had bought it.
Nice.
"My Little Chickadee" was pure fluff, but that was good! Light and funny, romantic in a not-so-serious way, easy and entertaining.
Perfect for petting Contessa the Cat, continuously, allowing me - and her - to get in plenty of touches to savor for later.
Very nice.
Thanks, bfe.

charles in charge

I must preface this entry by saying that the following piece is not new to me. I have received this email numerous times in the past and, after reading it, sent the expected "lol" and moved on.
Today, for some reason, I actually thought about it.
I blame the bfe; lunch with a physicist has that effect.
This email is usually titled "Physics of Hell", even though it is referring to a gas law used in chemistry.
Today, after the afore-mentioned (celebration of his fourth-decade birthday) lunch with the bfe, I realized something: the following is most likely a myth or urban legend.
No! Say it ain't so!
I wish I could. Perhaps if they had referred to the correct gas law, I would have accepted it as gospel.
I guess it just shows you how easy it is to read something in a hurry and not comprehend what is actually written.
So, here is the piece for your enjoyment. I will follow it with a brief discussion of the gas laws which should have been used and why "Boyle's Law" was an incorrect choice.

*******************************************************
*******************************************************
HELL EXPLAINED
BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry midterm, and an actual answer turned in by a student.
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. {This is an erroneous application of this law, as I will soon explain.}

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. {This is another erroneous application of Boyle's Law, as I will explain.}

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
*******************************************************
*******************************************************

If this "student" did truly exist and did truly write the above essay and did truly receive an "A+" grade, then the "teacher" must have been too consumed with laughter to recognize the errors.
Boyle's Law concerns the indirect relationship between volume and pressure. Specifically, the Law states that for an ideal gas at constant temperature and constant amount of gas, changes in volume are indirectly related to changes in pressure.
In GOB chemistry, this law is called the Law of Respiration.
Breathing?
Exactly. Consider the lungs, flexible vessels for the containment and processing of air. The volume, or amount of air which the lungs can hold, is controlled by the placement of the diaphragm (the muscle which separates the thoracic and abdominal cavities of the body).
As the diaphragm contracts and elevates, the lungs are compressed, decreasing their volume...and increasing the pressure of the gas within. This action results in air (containing carbon dioxide created during metabolic processes) being expelled from the lungs. Immediately after, the diaphragm relaxes and lowers, allowing the lungs to expand and increase their volume. This results in a decrease of gas pressure within the lungs, allowing air (containing oxygen needed for metabolic processes) to be inhaled.
Thank God we don't have to think about making that happen, right? Over and over and over, every second of every day, inhale, exhale. Thank God we have a portion of our brain dedicated to that mundane task as well as others of its ilk, like the heart beating.
But I digress.
My point is this: Boyle's Law was not the correct choice for the introduction of the student's essay. Perhaps the composer of the farce was familiar with Boyle's Law and thought its presence would lend some credence to the tale.
I'd be willing to wager that the majority of my students will remember that law, if only in part because of my in-class demonstration of it in action. The power of visual demonstrations!
So, which of the gas laws would be the better choice?
Well, I would recommend Charles' Law for that first part of the tale, when the speaker is talking of gas cooling as it expands. In other words, the talk was of temperature and volume. For Charles' Law, also known as the Law of Volumes, the premise can be stated thusly: for an ideal gas at constant pressure and constant amount of gas, changes in volume are directly related to changes in temperature. In short, as the temperature increases, the volume also increases.
However, a different law is needed for the second part of the emailed tale, the part which proposes to present the student's essay. There, the "student" writes that the "temperature and pressure...stay the same as the volume changes with the addition of souls. Boyle's Law is certainly NOT the correct choice, but Charles' Law would not fit this change of parameters, either.
No, the best choice would have been Avogadro's Law. If the temperature and pressure are both constant, then volume changes directly as the amount of ideal gas changes.
How does any of this relate to souls???
Well, if we assume that souls are spirits and behave comparably to ideal gases, then we can assume that Charles' Law and Avogadro's Law can be applied to the student's essay.
In accordance with Avogadro's Law, we have the number of departed souls (ideal gas molecules) increasing continually, leading to the continual expansion of the volume of Hell (vessel holding the gas). However, given the number of departed souls over the entire lifespan to date of Earth, we can assume that current change in number of souls is very small compared to the number of souls already in Hell, so the expansion can be regarded as very small at this point in time.
Likewise, if the volume of Hell is only nominally changing at this stage in the game, then the temperature and pressure would also only have slight variations as time proceeds and more departed souls enter. In other words, any decreases in pressure or increases in temperature for current increases in departed souls are fairly negligible.

Maybe the universe is Hell. We all know the universe is slowly and continually expanding. We all know that the space outside of our atmosphere is frightfully cold and basically a vacuum of constant pressure.
Perhaps space is Hell and the many stars are the departed souls...

thanks, aaron freeman

I did NOT write the following.
I wish.
But Aaron Freeman did, and it was broadcast on NPR some few years ago, if you want to have a listen.
I have reprinted it here, so I will always know how to find it again.

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Copyright © 2005 National Public Radio. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

MICHELE NORRIS, host:

Commentator Aaron Freeman isn't a person who does much planning ahead. However, if you like to look ahead to the future, he has some advice for you, advice on planning your funeral.

AARON FREEMAN:

You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.

And at one point you'd hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.

And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.

And you'll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they'll be comforted to know your energy's still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you're just less orderly. Amen.

(Soundbite of music)

NORRIS: Aaron Freeman is a writer and performer. He lives in Chicago.

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MELISSA BLOCK (Host): You're listening to ALL THINGS CONSIDERED from NPR News.

Copyright © 2005 National Public Radio. All rights reserved. No quotes from the materials contained herein may be used in any media without attribution to National Public Radio. This transcript is provided for personal, noncommercial use only, pursuant to our Terms of Use. Any other use requires NPR's prior permission. Visit our permissions page for further information.

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