i wanna be a COWBOY, baby!

This joke is courtesy of my friend Barbara.
I've seen it before, but I had not yet featured it here.
Remedied!

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots."

He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks."

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."

***** ***** *****

HAHAHAHA! Isn't that a hoot?
I wonder if "Fifty Shades of Grey" will have such tension in it?
Speaking of that, here's the birthday greeting I sent to the ex:
me: hAppY biRthDAy! I hope you have turned FIFTY with no shades of gray!
him: Very clever! Thank you dear.

And here's the conversation I recently had with my first niece:
her: We still have a date on Friday the 20th right?
her: I will be bringing a date... his name is Christian. You may know him as Mr. Grey.
me: Does your husband know?
me: Actually, i plan to go see Sam and Tony that weekend. Unless it snows. Or i meet the man of my dreams.
her: Ok fine. Maybe I can talk to Christian and see if he wants to go on Sunday afternoon instead. How does that sound to you?
me: That will work nicely. I do hope he is willing to make that work, though i know there will be a price to be paid. :)
her: Oh, by the way, my husband knows about our date but not that I'm bringing along Christian lol! :)
her: I may just have to bite my lip.
me: lol!

I've decided to cancel my trip to north Georgia next week. The weather promises to be utterly miserable there, so I will stay here.
Gotta let the first niece know!