She told me she had heard about me before she was even hired at the university.
She told me she knows how hard it can be to get recognition from the department, and how frustrating that can be.
She told me she knows how much of myself I give to the university, the department, the students.
She had felt the need to explain to me why I was not contacted about my job application. She wanted to assure me that the reason had nothing to do with my abilities, perceived or actual.
The problem was with the timing, not with me.
By the time the committee had received my application, they had already waded through those in receipt and found three possible candidates. Those candidates had been notified and interviews had been scheduled.
When more applications came in, the committee determined to wait to read them until after the initial candidates had interviewed and presented their sample lectures. If none of them were deemed worthy, the committee would resume the search.
I told her I understood. I told her I appreciated her letting me know and her reassuring me about my place as a teacher, if not in the department.
And I do understand.
But I want to stay.
Her words brought that back to me in full force: I want to stay.
I have spent much energy in bettering myself as a teacher these past three years and I continue to do so.
But that is not the reason I want to stay.
I have spent much energy in making the course of study into a strong program, a program in which the students derive the most benefit from both the lectures and the labs, using each to reinforce the other.
But that is not the reason I want to stay.
THIS is the reason.
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