dragon of juneteenth

"Wait, let me guess! Okay, today is June 19th, so I take it that you're marking that date in US history from exactly 160 years ago. So far, so good?"

Most exactly!

"Alrighty then! And that other part of the title refers to the movie you saw today with Michael and the twins!"

Oh, so close, but nope! Yes, I was supposed to see "How To Train Your Dragon" in Big-D with them today, courtesy of the two free reward tickets from Comcast. Alas, that didn't happen. Sure, it still showed up on my A*List that I went to that dance, but I missed it. AMC even gave me Bonus Reward points for those tickets from the Fandango site.

"Well, that's a good thing, but I'm confused. Why didn't you go to the movie with them?"

My little Saturn wouldn't start. Not even a click when I turned the key. Not even a click when Kevin Sullivan - my neighbor - attached his jump box. Not even a click when I popped the clutch to start it while rolling down the driveway to the street. Nothing.

"Oh, honey, I am so sorry to hear that."

Yeah, me, too. I did have a nice chat with that young man from Minnesota who drove the tow truck. No charge to me, as AllState covered the fee from Field Maintenance Company. I had my girl towed to Firestone of Skidaway, of course. They weren't able to do the repair, but Patricia didn't charge me and Aaron disconnected the wires to the running lights. It wasn't that those lights were the culprit for draining the battery. Nope. The problem is with the multi-function switch. I've been referred to the electrical folks at Dixie Motors and The Car Doctor for the actual repair, if and when the part can actually be located. They told me, though, that it isn't just older cars that have parts that are hard to find these days.

"You didn't notice any problems with the car before this morning?"

Well, last night, when I returned from dinner, I couldn't get the headlights to turn off. You're gonna laugh about this. I had taken the key out of the ignition before I noticed that there was still light in front of the car. I even waited a moment to see if they would turn off! Hahaha! But they didn't. Even with the light switch off and the key out of the car. So I put the key back in and cranked the car... no problem. I turned on the lights and then turned them off with the switch, then turned off the car and removed the key. That seemed to have worked, so I just passed it off as 'one of those weird things'. You know? Intermittent problems were always the worst to solve when I was a CTM in the Navy. The guy at Firestone, though, assured me that this is not intermittent. It's here to stay and the multifunction switch needs to be replaced.

"I see. But let me get this right. You weren't charged anything today? Not for the tow or the hour-long diagnostic and labor at the car place?"

That's correct. Christina suggested it might have been because I recently had new tires put on her car. I really don't know.

"Oh, you've talked to her? Like, heard her voice?"

Yes, I called her to see how things were going between her and Michael. She told me on Monday that he was mad at her, but she didn't know why. Apparently, they worked things out - she was at his house this afternoon, making dinner together!

"That's wonderful! She had been so worried about him. He had texted her to say for her to 'leave him alone, no more dinners at his place, she had lied to him and he had almost gone to jail about it'."

Yes, very odd, and apparently all over now. In fact, she knew he and the girls were to see the dragon movie with me and he'd even invited her to come along! I do wish she had sent me a text that all was well with them. Oh, well, it is what it is.

"Yes, it is. Naught for you to do 'bout that. She has a lot of people to try to placate - him, Kaleigh, Heather, Chelsea, her mom, you, and now Anthony, too - and she's doing the best she can. So, let it go. Why don't you tell me about your trio of dances this week?"

It's not a trio, but a quartet now for my AMC A*List, remember? AMC can't seem to keep them in the proper order, though, so I must be twirling from one genre to another too quickly for them! First was "The Materialists", which looked like a romcom in the previews, but certainly was not. Pedro Pascal was just so misused in that "business of love" piece. Next was the one on Monday with Christina. 

"So, a drama, then a horror flick. Gotcha."

On Tuesday, after mowing part of the front yard, bagging the cuttings this time instead of leaving them for mulch, I needed to cool off, so to the cinema I went. 

"You must have your time line confused. You went to the theater in the morning."

Nope. That wasn't to the AMC, but to the NCG. I wasn't able to mow until the day had cooled down, so I had to wait until almost 8 PM to break out the Ryobi. That meant going to the 9:30 PM screening of "Karate Kid: Legends". Very nice movie it was! I always like Jackie Chan, but I always think he looks more than 4 years older than me. I guess 71 would look older on anyone who's been as rode hard as he's been! Ralph Macchio is looking older, too, which is to be expected. He's right between Smitty and Ronnie in age.

"Everyone gets older, that's what they do. Get older or die, those are the options. But, yeah, I know the mental images are forever one age."

Right, until you see them again in the present. That's life!

"So it is! So, for your quartet, you had drama, horror, sports theme, and fantasy scifi. Did I get that line-up straight?"

Yes, you did, and you three in a little pun, too! Thanks for that!

"Any time, dearie! I know how much you love those!" 

water hazards and golf

The joke:
God, Jesus, and Moses are playing golf one day.
Things are going well until they get to the hole with the water hazard blocking the green.
How to best proceed?
Moses is first to tee off. Before he strikes the ball, though, he stands tall, back straight, arms at his sides. Then, slowly, he raises his arms and moves them far apart. As he does this, the water parts down the middle, roiling and rolling, but leaving a clear, dry path straight to the green. Moses then takes his shot, easily landing the ball within an easy putt to the hole.
God and Jesus give polite golf claps to acknowledge his skill.
Then Jesus steps up for his turn. The ball lands squarely in the water. No worries! He walked over and onto the water, then took a second swing. The ball sailed out of the drink and up to the green, landing mere inches from the hole.
Nicely played, the others agreed.
God then approached the tee for his turn. As his ball is sailing toward the hole, it lands in the water, too. But not for long! A catfish swims to the surface and spits the ball into the air! Then a hawk swoops down and catches the ball, carrying it over the green and dropping it - but just short of the hole. Then a mole burrows up from under the ball, tilting it and causing it to roll right in for a hole in one!!!
Moses and Jesus just stood there and looked at the green and their two balls perched upon it.
Then they looked at God.
"Dad," Jesus said, "it's just a game!"

* * * * *

I have a problem with this joke.
You know, similar to the problem I had with the joke about the physics of hell.
On the surface or to someone uninformed, the above is funny.
However, the receiver of the joke is being asked to believe that Moses, by his own power, was able to control the movement of water.
Moses did not part the sea on his own, folks. Right?
Moses was just a man. He was only able to perform that feat because he was acting as the vessel for God's power.
God parted the sea.
The receiver of the joke is also asked to believe that Jesus had the power to bypass gravity and density in order to walk on water.
Jesus was not able to perform that feat on his own, folks. Right.
Jesus was just a man. He was able to walk on water because God circumvented physical laws and enabled his doing so.
God was there, holding Jesus up.
If that was all true in the ancient world, then it would certainly still hold water on a modern golf course.
Right?
Any incredible acts performed by either Moses or Jesus would be by the grace of God.
I really think I'm right on this one.
Please, do feel free to comment, though.

for the effervescent JinHi

If I were a fairy godmother,
I would wave my magic wand,
And all cancerous growths would be removed from your body and banished forevermore.
Alas, I am not.
If I were the world’s most talented doctor,
I would wield my skillful scalpel against the cancer dragon
And it would lie vanquished beneath your foot, never to rise again.
Alas, I am not.
I am a friend who holds you dear.
I am a friend who has held you dear for a long time
And want to continue to do so.
I am.
Whatever you want me to do,
to make you smile,
to make you laugh,
to make you sing and dance,
I will do.
I take special requests,
from special friends.