yours in the double bond, y'all!

Just now, I finally completed updating my profile in the upcoming new edition of the directory of Alpha Chi Sigma brethren.
Woohoo! i even got it done before the deadline!

Here's what I wrote:

"After graduating from FSU in 1996, I moved back to my hometown, Savannah, GA. Fall of 2014 was my 20th anniversary of teaching survey chemistry to "those scared to death of it" at my alma mater. Sure, I've taught other courses, too, but none have brought as much reward as has my contact with the future nurses and radiology technicians.

Since my divorce in 2007, I've been reinventing my life and rejoining old pursuits. That includes more involvement in AXE, of course! I attended my first national Conclave this past summer and very much enjoyed meeting brothers from all over the USA and reconnecting with others! I look forward to more enriching friendships as time progresses ever forward.

I have been a brother for more than 25 years, getting my start with Gamma Beta at FSU during my years there. Since 2012, I have the honor of being a Brother For Life; my stepfather's death had given me a little "free money" and I, in turn, invested that in the Reserve Fund to help promote the future of this grand fraternity.

Yours in the double bond, y'all!"

Short and sweet... just like me!
(smile)

And here's the photograph I included. This was taken back in...2012?...no, 2011... when the Armstrong Alumni were going to East Broad Street School every month to read to the first-grade children. This shot was taken on a special day celebrating the works of Dr. Seuss, whose writings I have long enjoyed.

"chemistry of green eggs & ham"
That was the caption I submitted. Nice, n'est-ce pas?
(smile!)

GGBD 2015

Just wanted to let y'all know: The Goth Girl is all grown up and gone away.
She turned 18 in September, got back together with her first love, and is every bit a senior in high school.
Sorry.
It's been a fun ride, for sure.
But no more black nail polish.
No more punk rock schoolgirl.
No more kvetching in french. (Like that couldn't be translated.)
No more headbanging about saying SWIRLY.
No more longing for impossible things.

Yeah, I'm going to miss her, too.

drunken noodle soup

Well, it sounded reasonable enough.
As I had tests to grade and was not going to venture out to trivia tonight, I would do the next best thing.
Our group usually calls itself "The Drunken Noodles" (in lieu of the "Inebriated Fettucine" or some such nonsense). In honor of that sobriquet, and making use of the lone bottle of beer languishing in my refrigerator for the past year, I would prepare Drunken Noodles Soup!
Seriously, it sounded like a good idea.
However, the beer was far too hoppy and bitter, as it turns out.
YUCK.
I tried to remedy the situation by adding some Original Mrs. Dash.
No improvement at all.
Sweetening was definitely needed.
Fine.
I threw some honey into the concoction.
Not a recipe to repeat, but marginally edible.
Very marginally.
Sure sounded like a good idea.

did i miss a memo?

Tonight, I'm watching the Oscars and missing Mama.
It started with J.K. Simmons' acceptance speech for his Best Supporting Actor Oscar for "Whiplash". He urged people to "call your mom. Don't text her or message her, call her. And if you're lucky enough to have both parents still alive, call your mom and your dad."
I started bawling right there and then.
Good thing I wasn't at that Oscar party with the 40+WSN tonight, was my first thought, when I regained composure. I had begged off, due to this allergy or cold or whatever I have. I had felt badly about not going. Now, I was glad I was in the safety of my own home, with no need to explain why I was losing my mind.
Everyone here knows why I'm losing my mind.
(smile)
Then I resumed watching the show, especially enjoying the talented Neil Patrick Harris. And, of course, the musical bits and all of the lovely clothes donned for the evening.
Patricia Arquette's speech after she won for Best Supporting Actress for "Boyhood", the moving words of the two women who won for "Crisis Hotline: Veterans Press 1", the humble tone of the once-freckle-faced man behind "Big Hero 6".
How did I know he once had freckles?
He told us in his acceptance speech, sharing the story of him telling his mom and dad, as a "freckle-faced boy", that he wanted to work for Walt Disney when he grew up.
Moms and dads have had a lot of public thank-yous tonight.
Was there a memo that went around, reminding attendees to honor those who brought them into the world?
Perhaps there are no more thank-yous to parents than in previous years... might that be the case? Am I simply more attuned to those words of homage this year?

Oh, my! Lady Gaga just sang a musical tribute of the tunes in "The Sound of Music" - and she played it straight! She truly has such a good voice, when she isn't hiding behind a contrived stage presence.
Even more marvelous - the lovely Julie Andrews joined her afterward on the stage! Then Ms. Andrews introduced the line-up for those nominated for Best Original Soundtrack (which went to "The Grand Budapest Hotel")! But first she talked about the fifty years which have passed since she was a lass of thirty who sang as Maria the governess.
Wow.

I'm back again!
I had to go watch the rest of the show!
Eddie Redmayne won Best Actor! Very nice! And he made sure to dedicate his Oscar to the honor of those afflicted with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, better known as ALS. You know, that disease that destroyed the body of Stephen Hawking, but couldn't touch his mind. I'm so glad the bfe and I saw "The Theory of Everything" together!
Best Actress was won by Julianne Moore, for a film I've had two opportunities to see with others. Seriously. Plus, the man at the jazz concert talked to me about it, as his wife had recently died after several years in the unrelenting grip of Alzheimer's Disease. He told me "Still Alice" is true to the effects of the illness.
Three times it's come up. I guess that means I really should go see it.
"Birdman" won for Best Picture!!! Yeah!!!
It's director, Alejandro Iñárritu, won for Best Director, too! Oh, wait, they call that Best Achievement in Directing now. Perhaps they always did and I just missed it?
Anyway, I very much enjoyed that one! I found Michael Keaton to be the absolute best choice for its lead. Why? Who better to portray a man trying to escape the large shadow cast by his superhero character, a man showing he can act without the aid of a costume and cinema's special effects?
I look forward to seeing that one again when JAVAFLIX Savannah next convenes. Ah, to be able to discuss my thoughts with others after a second viewing! Or, perhaps, it would be more correct to say 1 3/4 viewing. You see, I missed the first 20 minutes or so the first time I saw it... Nice to have a free second chance!
Perhaps I'll try to see "Still Alice" while it is still here.
"Whiplash", I hope, will have a rescreening some time, too, now that it's won an Oscar. I hope.

more jumble'd puns

The carpenter was done with the new door. He exited after making a good entrance.

She had to give up tennis for a while, but she was now back in the swing of things.

She made such a good witch because she was crafty.

The prices on the granite floor tiles were rock-bottom.

When she browsed the internet, she was site-seeing.

The scarecrow didn't have a brain, making him absent-minded.

When Medusa was bitten on the neck, she had a bad hair day.

When it came to repairing cars, the auto body shop did a bang-up job.

After buying the condo in the high rise, they lived it up.

The wild ox wouldn't shut up, making the others tired of the yakety-yak.

When Jack Nicholson got the lead in Stanley Kubrick's 1980 film, he was the Shining star.

When the bread factory burned down, it was toast.

He was going to quit teaching at the acting school because there was too much drama.

Getting a good deal at the swap meet involved a lot of give and take.

The quarterback's girlfriend broke up with him, but he was going to try to court her back.

He would be hired as their new sneakers salesman because he was a shoe-in.

They sold the land their plant nursery was on because they outgrew it.

When the machinery at the lumber factory broke down, everyone was milling about.

He poked his skeptical buddy with the new spear to prove his point.

When she saw the fancy new cafe that served Earl Grey and Chai, she thought "LA-TEA-DA".

He asked if the mattress came with a warranty and the salesman told him he could rest assured.

After the White House was completed in 1800, it had a First Family.

He complained about how full he was, and his wife wanted him to stop his bellyaching.

The policeman in the pizza parlor wanted to keep the piece.

If you thought the center of the Earth was as hot as the surface of the sun, you'd be core-ect.

The zombie jingle writer was de-composing.

The Zombies made a snowman in the dead of winter.

jokes and puns, jokes and puns!

From my friend, Pat Andres:
……………………………………………………………………………………..
The biggest lie I tell myself is ..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet!
I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!
I don't need anger management; I need people to stop pissing me off!
Old age is coming at a really bad time!
Lord, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!
I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights".
My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
Teach your daughter how to shoot because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.
The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".
I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.
Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!
Why do I have to press '1' for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice!
Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?
At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree ... that makes it a plant which means ... chocolate is Salad!!!

from my friend, Cedric Stratton:
……………………………………………………………………………………
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?'
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs and have fun finding them.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

Question:What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending coffee break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest.

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
{My stepdad would have agreed. He said he never got vacation anymore!}

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after they fall asleep in the recliner.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.
(Mother Pat, my mom-in-law, always said this, too!)

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount. Sometimes 15%!

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question:What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question:Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer:They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.


from my friend, Barbara Nixon:
……………………………………………………………………………………
Why did the Chicken Cross the Road???

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our
side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?


from my fsilm and friend, Bev Lockamy
……………………………………………………………………………………
It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.
If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.
My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the hydrant.
When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.
It's not hard to meet expenses - they're everywhere.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.
These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter - I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".
Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.


from my Aunt Barbara Narcarti:
……………………………………………………………………………………
Friends - this is almost too sad to forward but I felt I should. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday in Minneapolis of a yeast infection and traumatic complications from repeated pokes in the belly.
He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.
Born and bread in Minnesota, Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not regarded as a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and served as a positive roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough, and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 min.
If you smiled while reading this, please rise to the occasion and pass it on to someone having a crumby day and kneading a lift.

from my friend, Sandy Karlin:
……………………………………………………………………………………
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.'
The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says 'HEBREWS'

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day -- 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...'

'Cash, cheque or charge?' I asked, after packing items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured that since the football and the horse-racing were on, setting the TV to a cookery program and coming out was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'

hollywood, senior style

This was passed along courtesy of my fsilm. What a fabulous idea! I would have liked to give a copy of this calendar to my grandmother, if she were still alive. She would have loved it!


"The Contilia Retirement Group in Essen, Germany made what is probably the best calendar ever with a few of their seniors.
According to German press, 5000 calendars were printed. And they were given out to residents of the senior center, along with relatives and staff.
The calendar models were interviewed about the project and said it was a ton of fun to dress up as their favorite actors.
The shoot was done with professional stylists and photographers to make sure everything looked as cool as possible."

*** Note: This calendar was made for 2014. ***
*** No word on whether a new version was made for this year. ***

January

"Thunderball"

William Buiting, 98

February

"Breakfast at Tiffany's"

Marianne Brunsbach, 86

March

"Titanic"

Erna Rütt, 86, und Alfred Kelbch, 81

April

"Rocky"

Erwin J. von der Heiden, 80

May

"Mary Poppins"

Erna Schenk, 78

June

"The Seven Year Itch"

Ingeborg Giolbass, 84, und Erich Endlein, 88

July

"The Blues Brothers"

Margarete Schmidt (r.), 77, und Lothar Wischnewski 76

August

"Cabaret"

Martha Bajohr, 77

September

"Giant"

Joanna Trachenberg, 81, und Horst Krischat, 78

October

"Saturday Night Fever"

Irmgard Alt, 79, und Siegfried Gallasch, 87

November

"Dirty Dancing"

Johann Liedtke, 92 und Marianne Pape, 79

December

"Easy Rider"

Walter Loeser, 98 und Kurt Neuhaus, 90