goth grrl 2014

Goth Girl Blog Day has come yet again, and the world is still here.
THAT is a surprise.
Well, maybe. It depends on your perspective of heaven and hell.
If living here is hell, then the planet will no doubt exist forever.
If living here is heaven, then why do people still kill each other and why is there still so much sadness and why can't I find black nail polish with flat opalescent highlights?
I first saw a black opal in my brother's Guinness Book of World Records. Halley's Comet Opal is what they named the stone and it was found at a place called Lightning Ridge. The picture said it came from Australia, just like almost every other opal on this planet. It is so appropriate, though, that something so dark and beautiful comes from a lightning-struck area of the land Down Under, n'est-ce pas?
Get it?
I wish my mom would get a clue. She likes diamonds. Ugh. The more sparkly and bright-white, the better she likes them. Double ugh.
I want a black diamond.
Not those stones called carbonado. Sure, I like that they are three billion years old. But they aren't a single crystal, they're a collection of crystals. That sounds flimsy to me. Still, if they ever prove they came from a supernova, then I definitely want some. Even if the stones do look a little too shiny for goth wear.
Anthracite may be a cool word in the mouth, but it's full of rough edges. It's also just plain old coal, whether some people try to dress it up as "black diamond" or not. Surprisingly, it's shiny, too.
I'm not opposed to a synthetic black diamond. If there's one thing I've learned over the years from my mom's bff, it's this: synthetic substances are composed of the same, identical types of atoms, and quantities of those atoms, as the substances found in nature. So, a solid carbon diamond is a solid carbon diamond, whether the pressures and temperatures of the Earth made it or the pressures and temperatures in a laboratory.
So, scientists, listen up. This Goth Grrl has a task for you.
I want a flat, light-eating black diamond that tries to drag you into its depths while you look at it.
That would be amazing to own.
Amazing.
I would be the envy of all of my friends.
Like I'm not already.
Most of them don't know any scientists. I try to educate them, but it's an uphill battle.
I think if I could get the scientists to make the type of black diamond I want, then all of my friends would be more accepting of science in general and chemistry in particular.
I really want that black diamond.
I'm going to go and mope now.
And eat a sandwich.
And pretend that Sam Johnson is eating a sandwich with me and complaining about Miley Cyrus.