speaking dingbat

I wonder if the translator programs on the web speak dingbat?

You talkin' to me?

Well, I'm rying to. This keyboard is no_ only noisy as heck, but the keys a_e also s_icky.

What? You seem to be missin_ some letters there at the end.

He_, you mjust missed one, too. That's okay, I seem _o have picked up an extra, so no worries. Of course, I've dropped a few mo_e along the way. Kind of like alphabet crumbs _o help find my way home...

Maybe that would be the better place to finish _his. It certainly would make it easie_ _o read.

No kidding. It's almost makin_ me lose my train of thought.
Back on _rack, you!
Arrgh!
Oh, I know what I can do! I can _o back and pu_ in the missing letters in bold _o make it all easie_ to read!
Or not.

Why, oh, why, did you come to this beach today???

Hmmm? Oh, right. My phone.

You_ cellphone skips letters when you _ext?

Hahaha! Don't be silly! No, all the letters are there, but sometimes they are in dingbat. Well, not really in dingbat, but certainly not in English.
Consider this conversation between me and Hai, on December 26th of last year.
me: Wanna pm tm tgd 4 pm tmdaw at Carmike?!?
him: What did your previous message say?
me (after looking back at my message): Pardon? i don't speak dingbat.

He really is a long-suffering friend, isn't he? (smile)

Hey, he's a sweet, smart cookie. He really is. Yeah, and maybe a little long-suffering...
Anywho, I was trying to see if he wanted to go to an afternoon movie, perhaps the latest Muppets film, and I was so excited about him having said "yes" that I wasn't watching what I sent into the airwaves. Yeah, that really is how it happened.
Oh, wait! That movie wasn't even out yet. I remember now: it was "47 Ronin"!!! Oh, yeah! And I got to see it with a guy who knows all about that sort of stuff - graphics novels and film remakes and swashbuckling!

And you were talking about your phone...?

Why, yes I was. How sweet of you to get me back to topic.

Well, I am trying to get out of this cold room, now that your student has finished his make-up Final Exam.

You'e right. It IS a bit brrr in here.
And these intermittent r's and t's and g's are an a_g_avation. As I was saying, ever since that episode with Hai, I've caught my phone doing silly stuff like that rather frequently. I'll be zinging along in autospell and hit "send"... only to find the message did NOT read what I had meant to say.
I honestly do not know what dictionary was used, as I cannot fathom the_e being one in which "zoninn" is a preferred word choice over "woohoo"... honestly!
Sure, I can understand the phone not knowing some p_ope_ nouns, like "Abercorn" and "Habersham", which are both local street names. I have no problem with "teaching" it those words. But I do object when it doesn't know "bellydance" or when it opts to throw in "hands" when I thought I typed "games".
Maybe I should give up on using the autospell feature. I find it slows me down almost more than it speeds my _esponses. Maybe I'll give it a few more t_ies.
What do you think I should do?

Go home. Now. P-l-e-a-s-e.

Sho' 'nuff! Color me g-o-n-e!