thirsty thursday

Weird science,
in the form of
puns and jokes,
sitting at a bar and
getting chummy.

Just ask my ex,
he will agree!

Here we go now,
as Ozzy would say.


Pavlov is sitting at a pub, enjoying a pint. The phone rings and he jumps up, saying "Oh, no! I forgot to feed the dog!"


A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus.
"You mean a martini?" the bartender asks.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"

Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here."
He doesn't react.

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.

What do you get when you put root beer into a square glass?
Beer.

Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Godel, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar.
Heisenberg turns to the other two and says, "Clearly this is a joke. but how can we figure out if it's funny or not?"
Godel replies, "We can't know that because we are inside the joke."
Chomsky says, "Of course it's funny! You're just telling it wrong!"

Another Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, "Five beers, please!"

C, E Flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says "Sorry, no minors."

The Past, the Prest, and the Future walked into a bar.
It was tense.

Three logicians walk into a bar.
The bartender asks, "Do all of you want a drink?"
The first one says, "I don;t know."
The second one says, "I don't know."
The third one says, "Yes!"

Descartes walks into a bar.
The bartender asks if he wants a drink.
"I think not," Descartes says.
And then he disappears.