left dangling

photo source

I have to believe he would have smiled at my title for this post.
I had thought of several other possibilities, like "shazbot". But none of them quite expressed the great loss I feel.
That i feel.
I had never met him, I had never been to any of his shows. I have only seen him on large screens in darkened cinemas, on small tv sets in living rooms, in movies, in television shows.
True, I have been watching him for most of my life. Ever since he was 26 years old, on "Laugh-In" and I was a mere teen, on the cusp of twenty, I have been gladdened by his company.
Now, there will be no more new movies sharing him with the world. I am so grateful that the next "Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb" will still have him as President Teddy Roosevelt, striving to keep the museum alive once more.
I will probably have to sit there in tears, in the cinema, after the movie's credits have rolled.
I know me.
But I am grateful to have that bright spark to light the night once more.

I know that part of the reason his death has hit me as it has is his age.
He was only 63 years old, as was my mother when she died.
His birthday had been less than a month before his death.
That coincidence is also shared with Mama.
The Parkinson's Disease was something he shared with my Uncle Bob.
My Uncle lived with the ever-increasing ill effects of the malady for more than twenty years. My mother's sister was by his side all the way, watching the man she loved lose his ability to officiate at barbeques and participate in camping trips, seeing his quick smile and glib tongue brought nearly to a halt.
I'm sure Mr. Williams could not bear the thought of his family having to watch his wit become trapped in an unresponsive body.
I have to believe he shared that concern with his wife and grown children.
I know too well of the link between depression and illness. As I wrote to my youngest brother, I suspected a physical ailment was behind Mr. Williams' death by suicide. I've seen two die who would still be living if their doctors had performed complete physical exams instead of applying anti-depression medications as a quick fix.
Depression should be considered, always, as a foreshadowing of serious, life-threatening, physical disease.
Always.