loss adjustment on the appalachian trail

Ryan McCurdy has graced us with another story based on his own life! This time, it's from back in 2010, when, newly divorced, he sought solace hiking on the Appalachian Trail. He'd started here in Georgia, then headed northward along its 2200-mile path. Along the way, he had a traumatic experience. He'd moved about to take a better photo of a waterfall... and fell. Fortunately for him, he didn't end up with a lifelong reminder, like a hitch in his giddy-up. But the memory of that trek, and stories heard about the Trail in the intervening years, stirred up his imagination. "Whiterock Cliff" is the result, first performed in 2019 as a 7-person show. A followup performance was scheduled for May of 2020, but the Universe threw the pandemic into the mix and postponed all that. Now, it's basically a one-man show, with a few guests thrown in. For this benefit performance at Asbury Memorial Church, he had the talents of locals - and long-time friends - in several of the scenes.

"Oh, wonderful! I had so enjoyed "Niagara" when he brought that for us!"

That's for sure! Here, he is talking on the phone with Valori Lavell. He is 'Reece', calling from Savannah, to speak with 'Emma', up in Maine. The world is going to hell and she just wanted to hear his voice before the electronics and electricity went out. The highways are trashed, so driving is not an option for travel. Just before the connection is lost, they make plans to meet on the Appalachian Trail. They'll meet in the middle, at Whiterock Cliff... then the phone died.

"Oh! So this is set during an apocalypse? That's funny, given that the COVID-19 pandemic was right around the corner."

Yeah, he mentioned something to that effect, too.

"So, did they catch up with each other? Were they lovers? What happened?"

Just hold up, okay? This was once a 2 1/2 hour production, the way he first envisioned it. Now, it's a lean 90-minute show, with him providing exposition to aid continuity. Some is spoken, most is via song. The next scene is with Justin Kent, real-life husband of Valori. He portrays a rebel in a reenactment of The Battle of Warm Springs. In the scene, 'Reece' has come to the bridge guarded by this 'rebel', and, much like in a fairytale in which a prince is halted by a troll, the gatekeeper wants bounty for passage. The rebel demands his backpack, the only thing of worth the hiker owns, but that would endanger his life. What to do, what to do?

"Well, give! What did he do??"

He gave us a side story of 'Reece' meeting up with 'Boheega', a Marine veteran who has been living on the Trail since his return from war. That encounter was at night and was a bit scary. However, 'Boheega' had a 'Golden Rule': to be nice to others even if they weren't nice to him. Still, he had a backup plan, his '3rd Rule': his knife would take care of anyone who threatened him. Yep, sounds like a Marine with PTSD to me!

"What a way to start Act 2!"

Indeed. Then he gave us a song about 'Emma' meeting up with a 'Trail Angel' on her trek down from Maine. That brought the storyline back to a more hopeful place. The next scene saw J. J. Collins on stage with Ryan. At this point, 'Emma' and 'Reece' are 300 miles from each other on the Appalachian Trail, so quite a bit of time has passed. Remember, the Trail is 2200 miles in length, and they are both on foot.

"Got it."

For the first time, there is  a duet on stage, "Walking it Back", as the two sing to each other, about each other, though they are not yet together. Quite nice! And by the way, they are very good friends, but not lovers.

"Okay. And yet they are making this great effort to see each other."

Hey, that's what family does, right? And best friends are the family you choose, not the ones you're born with. So 'Reece' and 'Emma' are just trying to see each other during this terrible time, using the only route possible. There's just one problem standing in their way.

"Earthquakes? Hurricane? Blizzard?"

Let me preface it this way. You know about the Savannah here in Georgia. Did you know there's a Savannah in Maine, too?

"Sure, I've heard that before... wait... oh, no..."

Oh, yes. He thought they were to meet in the two-word place in NC. She heard it as the three-word place in Virginia. I have to wonder how long they might have stayed in those locations, waiting in vain for the other to appear. There followed another duet, "I Did It All For You", with them off-stage at the piano, as an encore for us. I really loved this!

"Yes, I know you like your loss adjustment stories."

I do! What was nice was hanging out in Holliday Hall for cookies and friendship! Robin Eifler was there to talk with me about "SIX: The Musical", which she'd seen in New York - very nice! Heidi had welcomed me to the show earlier to try to get me to take Maureen's dog - thanks, but no thanks! Genie Lawson was so glad to see me, and glad to find a musical she could afford to attend - me, too! But the biggest surprise was seeing Linda Runge again! I called her last Sunday, to make sure she knew about Ryan's play. it had been a few months since I'd seen her, and I'd had no response to my 'friend' request on fb. So, I actually called her. And get this: she'd known Ryan since 2008, when he was a student at SCAD, where she worked. How happy they were to see each other again!

"Wow! That sounds like a most wonderful evening!!!"

Yes, it was! So glad to see so many I know, out to enjoy this shared experience! So glad I took a chance and called Linda so she could be there, too! She leaves on Sunday for a month in Germany with her church, and just returned last week from a month in Montana, so this was great timing. I've let her know about the things in the works in October, so I look forward to seeing her for more theatre. Right place, right time, tonight.

"Hallelujah!"

 

blood on my pillow, pain in my cheek, caused by you, you

I was awakened at 5 AM by a strange sensation...

my right cheek was wet.

Lyrics from a song written in my birth year sprang to mind.

"Tears on my pillow,

pain in my heart,

caused by you-u-u,

you."

I can count on my mental jukebox to bring forth the right tune for the occasion, usually.

That was as close as it could get for the bright red spots on my pale pink pillowcase.

The chemical cauterization from yesterday had failed, causing my scraped mole to weep blood.

My efforts to staunch the flow failed, leading me to call the dermatologist's office in distress.

LP-C Byrne worked me in for 1 PM, at which time she had an assistant perform an electric cauterization.

That was certainly a different smell.

 

After that, I needed a distraction and a treat, not necessarily in that order.

Alisia was only too happy to set me up with my AMC birthday treats - a large tub of popcorn and a large drink from the Coca-Cola fountain.

That was just perfect, as I planned a double-header for this afternoon!

I didn't bother going for anything new on the screen.

I wanted tried and true, and that's what I got!

First up was a repeat of "The Sheep Detectives" - light, fun, and reminiscent of films from my youth. 

I followed that with another "Project Hail Mary", with its charming dose of science fiction, physics, chemistry, and dancing.

Yeah, that's right: dancing.

Grace and Rocky didn't even need music to shake their booties.

(smile!)

And now I feel much better... and I even completed my A*List with four movies this week.

Good.

today, i went for a drive

I'm not saying I drove down to Hinesville or anything.

It was after my brother, Smitty, had taken me to my post-op appointment with Dr. Whipple and we were back at my house.

 

He could see that my car was covered in oak tree fronds.

The three hours of steady rain on Sunday had knocked them loose from the tree and all over any surface. 

"You want me to stay while you see if your car will start?"

Good idea.

In fact, I told him I would take a little drive, let my Saturn cruise...

and that's what I did.

I went straight to Truman Parkway South and let her run.

It wasn't yet 11 AM and both sides of the parkway were almost deserted.

That was good for my first venture out.

When the exit for White Bluff Road came up, I took it, then circled back on the ramp to hit Truman Parkway North.

By 11:15 AM, I was back to my driveway.

Hallelujah!

I definitely felt a sense of accomplishment with that foray into the world!

I thought, very briefly, of going to a movie.

After all, I haven't been to a cinema since World Theatre Day.

However, I haven't felt deprived in the least.

Between the free movies on Up Faith & Family last week, interspersed with my own reward movies and those on Peacock, I've had plenty to watch.

"Romantic Friction" - a book cover artist gets to play author when the real writer of a fluff romance wants to hide from the limelight; lightweight and funny.

"Starstruck: Gene Kelly's Love Letter To Ballet": not a word is spoken or sung, but there is no doubt about the plot; beautiful and captivating!!!

"My Boss' Wedding" - over-organized assistant is pegged with the groom's loosey-goosey nephew to plan an over-the-top gala in a week... from gown to flowers to food to venue to rehearsal dinner; definitely fun, with a little twist.

"First Dog" - when the pet of the POTUS gets lost and turns up in California, it's up to a foster boy to "do the right thing" and return him; I really liked this one, with all the Dolly Parton music and Eric Roberts as the President with a heart.

"Forgiveness Girl" - follows the childhood of a girl with spina bifida as she seeks friendship with a new girl; gets a bit too intense when the girl tries to kill herself.

"This Little Love Of Mine" - woman returns to her childhood town to convince her childhood friend to take over his family's business; yes, definitely liked this one, with its setting in a tropical cove!

"We're The Millers" - the Thursday reward movie from Comcast had a ragtag instant 'family' on an RV trip to Mexico to smuggle drugs; had some moments of mirth, Jennifer Aniston as a stripper, but a decent ending.

"Five Date Rule" - a widower and a birthday spur two people to the same internet dating site by their family and friends; another good one I'd see again!

"The Other Woman" - an older Cameron Diaz finds the man she's been dating is married and drops him, but his wife insists on being her friend; a bit wacky, but that's to be expected with this cast!

"Airplane!" - I watched this oldie from 1980 just for laughs!

That last one was seen last night, ending my Post Hernia Repair Film Festival right before the post-op meeting with the doctor.

Now, I'm going to watch some TV as I enjoy my dinner.

This is courtesy of Smitty and Mary's Easter repast: brown-sugar ham, green beans, and sweet potato casserole.

I'm watching an episode of "Father Brown" in which he introduces Sister Boniface as "The Forensic Nun".

I enjoy both of those British murder-mystery shows, so it'll be nice to see how the one spun off from the other.

Then, it'll be watching a recorded episode of "Two And A Half Men".

I've discovered I need that show to signal my body that it's time for bed.

If that's what I need, that's what I'll have.

Loss adjustment takes many forms.

loss adjustment with mother goose

"Seriously? How could Mother Goose help?"

When I looked down at my feet this morning, one of those nursery rhymes sprang into my mind, justthatfast! It goes like this:

Deedle, deedle, dumpling, my son John,

Went to bed with his stockings on;

One shoe off, and one shoe on,

Deedle, deedle, dumpling, my son John.

  

"Okay. But what I'm seeing is your feet with one sock on, one sock off."

That's correct. I'm trying a new thing and it seems to be working. See, I've been having a problem on cold nights. My right foot can find the warm place under the covers, but not my left on, leading to me waking up with a freezing foot. That's really uncomfortable, especially as you know how much I detest being cold.

"Honey, everyone knows your distaste for cold weather."

Well, on New Year's Eve, I put a sock on my left foot. And guess what? I slept through the night! No waking up with a freezing foot! Then I did it again last night and had the same result. Hooray!

"Nice experiment. But why not wear socks on both feet?"

The inguinal hernia makes it nigh impossible to put a sock on my right foot. That leg simply will not bend to allow me to do anything with my right foot. If not for my Skechers and slippers being slip-on, I wouldn't be able to wear shoes. So, this "one sock on" is my loss adjustment for that lack of flexibility.

"What about when you go out on colder days? What do you do then?"

Well, mostly I stay in when it's cold. You know that. 

"And why would your bed have such a small warm spot? Isn't your heated mattress pad a double?"

It is, but it's also at least 16 years old. I do launder it every year before putting it away, and I've noticed a bit of wear and tear. I should get a new one... but I hate shopping.

"Yes, I know that, too. Now would be the time, when stores are trying to decrease inventory. Just saying."

Well, how about this for a compromise? I'll investigate online, see what the prices are and local availability. No promise that I'll buy one, but I will at least look. 

"Yes, please do. No need for you to suffer through cold nights."

Yes, ma'am.

now i get 4 dances per week!

That's right: four!!!

Each and every week!!!

Why did AMC change its A*List?

Well, they wanted to charge another 3 bucks per month, but to not run off any of its fan base.

Hey, if they want to give me even more movies, I'm fine with that!

With the new rules, I'll pay another $36 per year, but I'll gain the option to see up to 48 more movies in that time span.

 

What a marvelous deal!

That new policy took effect yesterday, but I wasn't able to take full advantage, as I ran out of time that I was available.

See that open slot at the far right?

I'm going to try to make sure I don't have that next week!

As for why the order is scrambled for the movies I did see, I don't know why that has happened yet again... ask AMC.

 

"Thunderbolts" was seen on Sunday evening, after the blanket-making session was over.

That means it should have been listed first, not second.

As for the movie itself, it certainly wasn't the happy-go-lucky lark expected from all of the previews.

See, I had put everything about "Avengers: Endgame" behind me as a movie I never wanted to see again.

The thing had been besotted with grief and loss adjustment.

Even now, 6 years later, the loss endured by Peter Quill for the Gamora of his timeline is heartbreaking, especially as the Gamora that now exists recalls none of their "unspoken" love for each other.

I know part of that has been stirred back up for me this past month since I've been watching "Grimm".

Nick's Juliette had a case of cat scratch fever - induced by the poison crafted by a witch to turn her into a sleeping beauty - that resulted in her forgetting all about Nick, the man she'd loved and lived with for several years.

That means Nick has to wait and hope she - the love of his life - will eventually regain those memories.

Very sad state of affairs.

"Thunderbolts" has another very sad state of affairs: Natasha Romanoff died in "Avengers: Endgame" and her sister, Yelena, is still deeply in grief.

All joy is gone from her life and her father, Alexei, the Red Guardian (played by my man, David Harbour, with a nod to his Santa in "Violent Night"!!!) is quite worried.

I was worried, too, as her grief consumed much of the movie.

I doubt I will see that again any time soon.

"Sinners", on the other hand, was as much a delight, and as tearful, as it was when I first saw it last week.

I'm glad the physicist was there with me this time.

(smile!)

Then there's the Tollywood movie, "HIT: The Third Case", the third movie about the 'Homicide Intervention Team', and this time featuring a third member of the team, 'Arjun Sarkaar' (with the aging hothead played beautifully by 41-year-old Nani).

Although there are a few romantic songs for him, the fun part is him going on dates set up on matchmaker sites, including one his father sets up for him on a 'matrimony' site.

Very nice!

Lots and lots of action, and I'm pretty sure some of the folks from the first two movies had a scene or two near the end of the movie.

I'll look forward to future "HIT" installments written and directed by that delightful Sailesh Kolanu.

Now, pardon me, but I have a show to attend at Jelks Auditorium!

Does that sound familiar?

It should!

That's over on Stillwood Drive... Savannah Country Day!

snakes on a plane?

That is the phrase that popped, unbidden, into my head, and would not leave.

I tried passing it off to folks as a joke.

"Had steaks on a grill at Tony's and Laura's. I keep thinking 'snakes on a plane'. Lol!"

Cousin Penny said, "Yummy! Haven't had a steak in a while! Love you, honey bunny. Have a great week!"

My first niece sent a laughing emoji.

I had no response to that from anyone else.

(Sigh.)

I'll be so glad when April is over.

Grandma's death on April 1, 1997, marked the start of Mama's descent right after her less than four years later.

Then, in 2007, Mother Pat lost her battle to cancer, with her passing hastening the dissolution of my marriage to her son before the year was done.

It's been a stressful month for me ever since 2009, when Daddy and Blaxstone, aka Sam Johnson, both died within a week of each other.

Jean Marie's death in 2017 didn't help, marking the month as something to just get through as best I could, between bouts of teary sobs and general ennui.

I go through the same thing in October. 

(Sigh.)

I would have preferred to have Easter in March, not today.

Getting snubbed by Smitty and Mary and not asked to join the family gathering at their house was just the last straw yesterday.

I hadn't known until I called Tony, to see what he was doing for the holiday.

That's when he told me he thought I'd be going out to Dutch Island.

I haven't been to our brother's house there since... Easter of 2023.

Tyler and Hannah had The Pip and family gatherings for that branch moved to their place instead, as it was easier for the baby boy to keep his schedule.

At least, that's the story I choose to believe.

I know Mary unfriended me on facebook, but I don't know why.

I told Tony and Laura about that today.

I had been in total disbelief when I found she had done so.

However, as I told them, I had called her at home to ask why, leaving the question on their home answering machine, and she had almost immediately friended me again.

Neither Laura nor Tony had any comment at all about that.

Strange, right?

(Sigh.)

On Saturday, I had looked forward to seeing the Hinesville peeps at their Nana's house, here in Savannah, for an egg hunt and cookout.

Instead, the gathering had moved to Ellabell to Tammy's house... and, after looking at the map, and knowing my Garmin Nuvi was dead, I just couldn't chance getting lost in the dark bowels of Georgia countryside again.

So, I had missed out on that.

I had missed out on the Smiths & Kamerons Friday Fiesta.

And now I was missing out on Easter with my brothers.

Ah, but not quite.

Although Tony and Laura had "the kids" over for burgers and hotdogs late Saturday afternoon, they were available to cook out on Sunday.

Tony said they'd get some steaks and we'd do that.

Instead, I told him I'd buy the steaks, as I still had SNAP to spend.

I don't know that he caught that, but he told me Laura loved ribeyes...

so that's what I bought.

The four of them ran just over $35.

Wow.

I also brought over the package of mini muffins that had been destined for the Easter egg hunt and cookout at Nana's.

What a lovely luncheon we had, with a Caesar salad, baked potato, and pasta salad!

Afterward, we sat in the back yard for a while, until I knew it was time to go.

 

How so?

Both of them broke out their phones!

Hey, I could take a hint.

They packed me out with the 4th ribeye and the rest of the pasta salad, throwing in two cheeseburgers and three grilled hotdogs from yesterday.

 

I walked back down to my house, as it was a gorgeous day.

Being with family and getting multiple hugs has helped restore my spirit.

The knowledge that the week ahead has my kind of weather helped, too.

i thank You, God.

sonrisa finalmente con una amiga

Of course I was out too late - Sandy was with me!

I'd texted her yesterday about going to improv with me, and, to my surprise, she said yes!

Very nice!

Then, as time neared for the show to begin, she texted at 7 PM that she'd meet me in the lobby - and when I arrived, she was there!

Even nicer.

It's been a hot minute since we two amigas have been together.

We even went out to dine after the show ended around 9:30 PM, going for an old haunt - Carey Hilliard's on Abercorn - for the next two hours.

Talking is still a little ... stilted? hesitant? slow?... but it was good to talk.

 

The Last Laugh improv show had been great fun for both of us, though.

Held at Jenkins Hall on the Armstrong campus, we both felt right at home when we walked in there.

The troupe was a little smaller this time, but the Friday night crowd was rowdy and loud!

That was great!

They like free events, just like we do!

The very first game got things rolling with all players in for "Objection!"

That had been an Odd Lot favorite, too, so I threw "the price of eggs" out there as a topic - and Ro and Nick picked it right up and lobbed it to CJ to start.

And so it went, from that tall cool dude discoursing about eggs until Jordan called him out on the hacky sack playing.

"Sustained!", cried Nick, so then super short Jordan had to explain the rules of that game, until Luke called an objection on her use of "feet" instead of "foot".

"Sustained!", cried Nick, leading to Luke having to talk of parts of the human anatomy...

and so on, until all seven players had at least one chance to speak.

All from the price of eggs!

(smile!)

Sasha was the main player in "Slide Show" of her trip to New Orleans, with the other six striking poses, tabula rasa style, every time she said, "Click!"

Then she would have to explain just what was going on there - hahahaha!

"LCD" started off with Deja as the first person in a deaf world, having to describe with body language that she was at the Waffle House, she was a shoe salesman, and her death was caused by a pair of Air Jordans.

I'll give her credit for getting that jump shot down pat!!!

That doesn't mean Nick, Liana, or Chloe guessed correctly what was going on, but it sure was a hoot to watch!

"Survivor" was kinda sorta like half-life, but instead of time being eliminated, players were.

Luke, CJ, Jordan, and Sasha were in Tahiti, but there was some confusion about who was to have made the hotel reservations and what had been done with the money.

When Sasha was voted off by the audience, the other three had to replay the scene, including all her lines, and then the audience voted off another player.

It ended up with CJ being the last man standing and he had to do the story all over, being sure to say the other three players' lines - and that was crazy!!!

I really did like that game!

So did Sandy.

But I think our absolute favorite was "Sex With Me Is Like...", with all players in.

The audience would give a suggestion, then the players would step forward with their response for that suggested word.

My favorite had to be Liana's for "grill".

"Sex with me is like a grill. I have two racks to put your meat on!"

Hahahaha!!!

I think I just got an insight into her character in "Ride The Cyclone"!!!

Hahahaha!!!

trenting with my first niece... and this was a hard one.

The TV show opened with the dyslexic GBI agent's hands covered in dried blood.

That's never a good start.

Then, when the title page made its appearance, the tone was set.

 

He had stepped into an elevator at the GBI office and the closing doors shone a horrific spotlight on his state of mind.

The title page was upside-down.

Yes, that was a sure sign of bad things to be revealed.

"Best Of Your Recollection" (s3 e11) was the episode tonight.

For most of that episode, he was being questioned about firing his gun in an apartment building while trying to apprehend a felon.

The problem was this: a stray bullet had landed in the chest of a teen boy, playing a video game while playing hookie from school.

Damn.

Christina and I were both in tears at several points in the story.

Damn.

Such a hard, hard episode to watch.

I'm glad she and I were watching it 'together', but I would have rather we were physically in the same space, so we could have hugged and consoled each other.

That meant we had to do our own loss adjustment.

I turned to music.

It took a while, but I finally composed a youTube mix-list that worked to calm me.

Here it is, in case I should want it again.

 

Muse: Madness

--------------

The Airborne Toxic Effect: Sometime Around Midnight

------------------

Garbage: Push It

-------------------

Evanescence: Bring Me To Life

-------------

Sarah McLachlan: Possession

---------------------

Ozzy Osbourne and Lila Ford: If I Close My Eyes Forever

pushing too hard every night and day

I am definitely a child of the 1970's.
This song, "Pushing Too Hard", is from 1966 and it immediately sprung to mind for this blog post.
Now, just let me say this before you get a wrong impression.
No one has been pushing me.
Okay?
No one has been trying to get me to do anything this month of travels.
I have no one to blame but myself.
Before coming to Kissimmee on Sunday, my left shoulder was aching, my left hand would tingle if I put too much pressure on my arm, and my right hip and thigh ached badly.
But you know what?
After three days and four nights of not driving anywhere, those aches are all gone.
Vanished.
POOF!
Just like magic.
I gotta face it: I'm not as young as I used to be.
Shite.
Driving from Savannah to Hiram to Dora, Alabama, and back to Hiram that first week of June may not have been the best idea. It had seemed like a logical course of action at the time. I was even taking some breaks along the way, but the time factor was constantly pushing me. I had obligations to other people, so I pressed on.
Driving from Hiram's rolling hills to the Blue Ridge mountains of North Carolina was another difficult drive. I was leading the BFF's daughter, so I was continually checking behind me to make sure she was still in view, taking care at traffic lights so she didn't get left at a red, taking care when shifting lanes so she would have room to squeeze in behind me. Also, the resort management company for Fairway Forest closed at 5 PM, so that time factor was pushing me. We only stopped once.
Then I had three solid days of driving on two-lane mountain roads. I wanted the girl-child to be able to enjoy the views while I operated my ton of death machine. Neither of us had been us there, specifically, though I had been to Franklin and Cherokee when I was in high school and about her age. Better that she be allowed to soak in the ambiance. But those twisting, curving roads pushed my nerves more than I wanted to admit. I was glad to be done with them.
I came home for just about two days before settling into the Saturn once more. Southward, this time, but southward from Bluffton, SC, not Savannah. I had chosen time with my stepmom over an early start. Good choice. Then I drove straight through, not making a single stop. Bad choice. Pushing too hard, trying to chase daylight.
I had noticed the aches before leaving Hiram for the mountains. They settled in for the long haul while up in North Carolina. They were constantly digging at me on the drive to Florida.
And they're gone.
Vanished.
POOF!

The moral of the story?
My body is not as young as my mind is.
More consideration of that fact must be given.
If it takes a little longer to get somewhere, guess what?
The fun begins with the journey,
not after the destination is reached.

With that firmly in mind, I have planned a nice long stop at McKee Botanical Gardens on my southward drive tomorrow.
That should be a nice journey, and a good walk, too.
And if you see me, be sure to tell me to look for the trees in the forest.
You know: s l o w d o w n.
(smile)

Paul and Cathy go to Bonaventure Cemetery!

No photos this time, folks.
The day was gray and rainy, so we didn't venture out of the car much.
Paul and I had one of my egg-and-English-muffin sandwiches, along with coffee, while Cathy slept in. Then we all piled into the car and rode out to Bonaventure Cemetery. First we drove around its grounds, taking in the large variety of statuary among the Spanish-moss draped live oaks and headstones. Sure there were folks tromping around on the muddy lanes, but that was not for us.
Next, on to Forest Lawn memory Gardens, with poinsettias and mini-Christmas trees hopscotching the rows of memorial markers and the memorial walls. By this time, the drizzle was slowing greatly.
Good timing.
By the time we entered Greenwich Cemetery, the westmost of the three, the rain had stopped. After driving along the bluff road and enjoying the Romanesque statues of angels and maidens, we were able to stop and visit Mama and Frank's new place on this Earth. I explained that I had placed the seashells and small rocks on Mama's marker because she had been so taken by that Jewish tradition when she had seen "Schindler's List". (She had started doing that when she traveled to Waycross to visit my grandparents' graves.)
Visiting the cemeteries quite naturally led to a trip to my church. I wanted them to see the renovations in the sanctuary, the renovations I had helped fund with my "Celebrate The Joy" pledges for more than two years. I very much enjoy going to Asbury Memorial UMC. I find the decor to be quite soothing, as well as uplifting.
Okay, time to get a bit of food! They had never been to Chick-Fil-A and tasted that lovely chicken with the two pickle slices, so that's where we went. Funny thing: that particular store has the code "FSU". (How do you like that, Paul? It's like they knew you were coming when they built that store just a couple of years ago!)
They liked it! They really liked it!
And Paul even got a mini-sundae.
He should eat ice cream cones and sundaes more often. He visibly relaxes when he eats them. I first saw this in Las Vegas, back in 2010, when they had joined me for part of my week there. I have this photo of him eating an ice cream cone, happy as a lark, with the spires of Excaliber rising behind him. Good memories!
Now what to do? Their flight wasn't until 7 PM and we had really done everything that I had wanted to share with them, except the part about dining at Cheddar's. That was in Pooler, near the airport.
Well, we were all packed, them with their flight bags, me with my Florida-bound bags. They weren't adverse to being dropped off a bit early for their ride back home, to allow me to get a start on my drive south while some daylight remained...
So north to Pooler we headed! Then we had a very leisurely meal at the restaurant that doesn't advertise, getting some good veggies at a great price.
Then to the airport, with hugs all around and wishes for safe travels...
And me safe in the knowledge that I was not returning to an empty house on this first night of their absence, that I had a buffer time in a new bed, in a new place, to serve as my loss adjustment.
I had set this buffer in place before I had known how important it would be to me. I had thought, back in early October, that I was being smart and prepared by actually planning to to be down in Florida at the same time my dear cousin Penny and her family are there every year for the week of New Year's Eve. Then, a month later when I was fb'ing with Penny on her birthday, I mentioned my plans to see her at the end of December.
"Oh, are you returning to Tallahassee?"
"Um, no, I'm joining y'all for New Year's, when you'll be in Ponte Vedra. I've booked a stay in Ormond Beach!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, honey, but we won't be doing that this year. Steve's folks sold their condo two weeks ago."
"Seriously? Well... then I guess I'll still be going there (as it's too late to change the booking without losing all of the points)."
Now thank God I did have this booking.
That all worked out just fine for my emotional sanity.
Safe travels, dear friends! I'll miss you!
And tomorrow I celebrate the end of a New Year in the company of Random Acts of Insanity. How appropriate is that?!
(smile!)

thanks for a lovely day!

The funny thing, Faustina, is that
in spite of the euphoria one feels upon entering paradise, cloaked in miracles, surrounded by angels, love, and unimaginable beauty, it gradually becomes all they know, commonplace, ordinary, and then, shockingly... invisible.
Yep, I'm talking about life on earth. Right?

Yippee-kai-yay,
The Universe

Today, that was the message I received.
Sometimes, they are more spot-on than others, especially in retrospect. You know, with hindsight being 20-20 and all that.
But today, I heard the messages in between the lines.
"Enjoy the here and now."
"Appreciate the life you have."
"See the beauty all around you."

Mama must have been instrumental in the timing of that one.
My outlaw Bunny started my day with the simple text: "Love you, Tina."
How wonderful to know someone else was remembering that it was my mother's birthday!
I posted the significance of the day, and Mama's Christmas photo that Frank had given to us the Christmas after her death, on facebook, then signed off.
I had a luncheon to attend.
That was a most excellent decision on my part. I had set it up quite a while ago, knowing December 10th was not just some ordinary day for me.
No.
So, steps had to be taken to distract me, albeit gently.
In other words, the company of strangers was needed.
Who better than the Lunch Ladies? The meetup was scheduled for a venue close to hand, not downtown. That was a plus! I didn't know how many to expect, but I knew there would be at least a few familiar faces of women of various ages. That was another plus!
I like having a range of ages around me - I find it reassuring. Megan, Debbie, and Jackie have been at several of the lunches I have attended and I truly like them. I wouldn't go so far as to call them "friends" yet, but they are certainly more than "acquaintances". As good fortune would have it, all three were at the table when I arrived slightly late and a little teary-eyed. There were others there, like Agnes and Betsy, that I knew more glancingly, as well as two newcomers.
None pried. All allowed me time and space to regain my tether.
At some point in the conversation, about books and movies and televised shows, I mentioned Mama, just to let them all know. I also shared how thankful I was to Megan and Debbie for our conversation about the Junior League Thrift Sale at an earlier luncheon. Thanks to them, when my first niece invited me a few days later to go to the sale with her, I complied. Moreover, I snagged lots of baby items and two Graco high chairs for my nephew Michael's upcoming twin girls. What a coup! And for less than twenty bucks, total!
I was feeling pretty good by the time lunch was done. And, look! Plenty of time until I was due at the school to give a make-up Final Exam to two students! (Yes, another activity deliberately scheduled as a distraction on this special day.)
The grocery store, a new one I had only been in once, was right there. (That's an inside joke with the bfe. Remind me to tell you about it sometime, if I haven't already.)
While there, I grabbed a few things for my upcoming soiree - sodas, clementines, cubed cheese - all on sale. Yeah! And while I was there, a special promotion allowed me to buy $145 worth of kitchen goods for only $39. Wow! I have two weddings coming up next year, so these will be fabulous gifts for the new couples!
Timing. That was such excellent timing!
I returned home in plenty of time to put away the three half-gallons of lactose-free milk and other refrigerator-stored items. In fact, I had time to set up the radio on the new station I so enjoy, SC 103. Its music selection is so diverse!!! They play a lot of old tunes, mixed in with new songs, and have an occasional holiday favorite thrown in for good measure.
Then I had to race out to the college, as I had lost track of time. Oops! That's okay, I made it there only five minutes late. The students were just glad I showed up! I read the student newspaper, marking errors in it along the way. When they finished their exams, I considered going to a movie, but finally decided against it. Why not check on the physicist, see if he was still in the house?
Turns out he was! I delivered the magazine that had the article about the movie we had seen last week (about another physicist, Stephen Hawking), then offered him a ride downtown (no, not like the cops on "Law & Order" do), as he was leaving, too. He accepted and we had one of our "random trains of thought crashing about" conversations along the way and, then, for another half-hour in front of his apartment. Very nice!
I then headed toward dinner, most likely at Sisters of the New South. (I have an incredible deal that nets me four free meals per month there and they have the absofrickinlutely best fried chicken on this planet.) As I pulled in, at o'dark thirty, I wondered: should I invite my brother Ronnie?
So, I called him, to let him know I was thinking about him on this day of our late mother's birth. He was obviously drunk and completely unaware of the significance of the date. After talking with him for about fifteen minutes, I signed off, not mentioning where I was or extending an invite.
No. I was not dealing with him, in that state, on this day.
So, I called my brother Smitty, to share that I was thinking of him on this day of our late mother's birth. I got his voicemail. Recalling that the day was the one on which he met with a group for Mexican fare, I headed toward the restaurant I thought most likely.
No. He was not there, nor did he ever call me back.
Strike two, as it were, for dinner plans.
Back to home, to cook and dine "with" four of my favorite nerds. You know, Leonard, Sheldon, Howard, and Raj. Very nice!
Then, I ventured out of the house once more. That Psychotronic Film fellow was screening another item gleaned from television of the 1970's. Good move on my part! Jack Klugman was the main draw for me in "Poor Devil", but Sammy Davis, Jr. was a treat to watch, too! I was in good company at the film, with the owner of the "Singin' In The Rain" poster there to share a chocolate cookie, and laughs, with me. Amanda was there, too, and gave me an enthusiastic greeting and personal invite to the librarian's baby shower. Super nice!
And now, I am home again, after enjoying this day of cheer and friendship and surprises.
Thanks, Mama!

death of an oak

Here, I pay homage to the oak destroyed on July 15 and 16 of this year.
Even though I am the one responsible for its loss to my world, I am gladdened to know I have these photographs to document its existence.

Day 1, Tuesday, July 15: work begins.

Day 2, Wednesday, July 16: continuation and culmination.

panegyric for an oak

Planted
by a forgetful squirrel
before the house changed hands in 2001,
the acorn
from across the street
grew into a small tree between the two houses. Although trimmed repeatedly
(by yours truly) over the ensuant years, the tree continued to grow, eventually attaining a height which would have required the use of a ladder to keep its boughs in check.
Notice that use of the phrase "would have".
The tree, no longer beset by pruning tools, flourished.
Oddly, no birds claimed it as home. Ever.
The mockingbirds preferred the shelter of the nearby azaleas, cloaked by blackberry brambles and thorny vines.
The neighbor in the house on the other side of the tree began complaining about two years ago. He claimed the upper branches were having a deleterious effect on his roof. I reminded him that I would have been able to afford to have the tree trimmed when he had the tree cutters eliminating the pines in his back yard, about five years earlier. He did not recall.
Every few months, a card from a tree surgeon would be left on my door.
Time passed.
The tree continued to loft its weighty limbs into the air, reaching its fingertips toward the sun, the moon, the stars. Its leaves caught each passing breeze, rustling and singing.
Its roots continued to spread, taking shelter under the houses of myself and my neighbor. Eventually, that would be a serious problem, I knew. The roots of an oak reach out as far as do its limbs. The overlap of the branches atop the two roofs were evidence of the roots' encroachment upon those foundations.
Action would eventually be necessary. I knew that, but kept granting clemency to the oak.
After two of my neighbors called the city about my back yard, I decided it was time for action against the tree.
Time for the mighty oak to be felled.
"Mighty" was hardly the correct description. The tree was still so young! It should have had a couple of hundred years of time ahead of it.
Instead, the tree surgeon of my choice was called, a man recommended by my dear artist friend.
On the afternoon of Tuesday, July 15, 2014, Ervin came. After we agreed on the cost of ending the tree's life, work began.
Immediately.
I may have expected more time for me to accept the concept of killing the oak. At least I was aware that this was most likely the only time I would deliberately have a living tree destroyed.
I documented the act with photographs.
The tree surgeon was surprised, but did not discourage me.
He has a deep respect for these trees he fells.
I like to think he knew I had a deep respect for this oak.
I like to think I did, too.
I miss the sight and the sounds of it.
I don't think I realized what a loss I would feel.
I certainly did not realize what impact that loss would have on me.
Now, every morning, I am reminded that the oak is gone. The rising sunbeams, no longer blocked, beat against my bedroom window, seeking admittance, bidding me awaken at a ridiculously early time.
Now, all day long, the sun sends its heated rays toward that window, increasing the temperature in my already hot, un-air-conditioned, little house.
Now, every day, I am reminded of my death sentence on the oak.
Sigh.
Loss adjustment is still ongoing.
Perhaps, as the days cool and the nights lengthen, I will welcome the additional sunlight.
For now, the loss is still fresh and I am daily reminded: I had a living tree destroyed.
I don't know if Joyce Kilmer would have approved, but I have to believe he would have understood.
And none of that logic makes it any less sad.

dusting off the golden rule

The following were from my fsilm, via email, naturally.

Real-life stories

1. Today, when I slipped on the wet tile floor, a boy in a wheelchair caught me before I slammed my head on the ground. He said, 'Believe it or not, that's almost exactly how I injured my back 3 years ago.'

2. Today, my father told me, 'Just go for it and give it a try! You don't have to be a professional to build a successful product. Amateurs started Google and Apple. Professionals built the Titanic.'

3. Today, I asked my mentor, a very successful business man in his 70's, what his top tips are for success. He smiled and said, 'Read something no one else is reading, think something no one else is thinking, and do something no one else is doing.'

4. Today, I interviewed my grandmother for part of a research paper I'm working on for my Psychology class. When I asked her to define success in her own words, she said, 'Success is when you look back at your life and the memories make you smile.'

5. I am blind by birth. When I was 8 years old, I wanted to play baseball. I asked my father, 'Dad, can I play baseball?' He said, 'You'll never know until you try.' When I was a teenager, I asked him, 'Dad can I become a surgeon?' He replied, 'Son, you'll never know until you try.' Today, after my own successful sight restoration surgery, I am a surgeon, just because I tried!

6. Today, after a 72-hour shift at the fire station, a woman ran up to me at the grocery store and gave me a hug. When I tensed up, she realized I didn't recognize her. She let go with tears of joy in her eyes and the most sincere smile and said, 'On 9-11-2001, you carried me out of the World Trade Center.'

7. Today, after I watched my dog get run over by a car, I sat on the side of the road holding him and crying. And just before he died, he licked the tears off my face.

8. Today at 7 AM, I woke up feeling ill, but decided I needed the money, so I went into work. At 3 PM I got laid off. On my drive home I got a flat tire. When I went into the trunk for the spare, it was flat, too. A man in a BMW pulled over, gave me a ride, we chatted, and then he offered me a job. I start tomorrow.

9. Today, as my father, three brothers, and two sisters stood around my mother's hospital bed, my mother uttered her last coherent words before she died. She simply said, 'I feel so loved right now.'
We should have gotten together like this more often.

10. Today, I kissed my dad on the forehead as he passed away in a small hospital bed. About 5 seconds after he passed, I realized it was the first time I had given him a kiss since I was a little boy.

11. Today, in the cutest voice, my 8-year-old daughter asked me to start recycling. I chuckled and asked, 'Why?' She replied, 'So you can help me save the planet.' I chuckled again and asked, 'And why do you want to save the planet?' 'Because that's where I keep all my stuff,' she said.

12. Today, when I witnessed a 27-year-old breast cancer patient laughing hysterically at her 2-year-old daughter's antics, I suddenly realized that I need to stop complaining about my life and start celebrating it again.

12. Today, a boy in a wheelchair saw me desperately struggling on crutches with my broken leg and offered to carry my backpack and books for me. He helped me all the way across campus to my class and as he was leaving he said, 'I hope you feel better soon.'

13. Today, I was traveling in Kenya and I met a refugee from Zimbabwe. He said he hadn't eaten anything in over 3 days and looked extremely skinny and unhealthy. Then my friend offered him the rest of the sandwich he was eating. The first thing the man said was, 'We can share it.'


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I don't know if any of the above are true or even what sources were used for the quotes.
I do know that I like the messages about loss adjustment.

there will come a day, youth will pass away, what'll they say about me?

Last Cab Ride

I arrived at the address and honked the horn.
After waiting a few minutes I honked again.
Since this was going to be my last ride of my shift I thought about just driving away, but instead I put the car in park and walked up to the door and knocked.

'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice.

I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie.
By her side was a small nylon suitcase.

The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she asked softly.

I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.
She kept thanking me for my kindness.

'It's nothing,' I told her. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother to be treated.'

'Oh, you're such a good boy,' she said.

When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'

'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly.

'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice.'

I looked in the rear-view mirror.
Her eyes were glistening.

'I don't have any family left,' she continued in a soft voice.'The doctor says I don't have very long.'

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city.
She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.
We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds.
She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.
Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now.'

We drove in silence to the address she had given me.
It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.
Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door.
The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

'How much do I owe you?' She asked, reaching into her purse.

'Nothing,' I said.

'You have to make a living,' she answered.

'There are other passengers,' I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug.
She held onto me tightly.

'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said.
'Thank you.'

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.

Behind me, a door shut.
It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift.
I drove aimlessly, lost in thought.
For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk.
What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware - beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID ~BUT~ THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Coincidence that this cab driver was the one who came for the old lady?
I'd like to think not.
This was a small miracle, adding a touch of grace to both lives.
Last night, for the first time in months, I went to a Philo Cafe meeting.
[Sidebar: I had attempted to go, on a rainy night, back in February. As I had told Hai, "Drats. I cannot find The Foundery. There is def a joke that could be made, but it's true. Drats."]
The topic, posed by a new entrant to the group, a new entrant who also happened to be in training for Episcopalian priesthood, was "A Post-Christian Society". This week's meeting, on a rainy night as luck would have it, was also at The Foundery, a place I now well-knew how to find (thanks, bfe!). The Foundery happens to be a coffee shop opened by someone at my church.
Coincidences abound!
Or, does it just seem that they do because I am attuned to look for them?
Perhaps.
The conversation took various turns. Comparisons of populations of people in Walmart and in churches on a Sunday morning led to similarity of beliefs and features of those at a particular church (which brought to my mind the rule about solubility: "like dissolves like"). That line of reasoning led to demographics and marketing studies, as conducted for national churches, as well as the growth of splinter churches to serve specific niche populations.
Finally, we philosophers turned to the teachings of Christ for guidance. Were we, as a society at large, trying to treat each other kinder, to minister to each other's needs, to do what we could where we could? Was the world a better place because of the example set by Christ and taught by his disciples?
I hope so.
I believe it is.
I try.

The cab driver certainly followed that path.
He had a choice in the matter and he chose the decision which benefitted a total stranger.
In the end, his choice also benefitted him.

I do hope that when I am an old lady, I will find someone like that.
Meanwhile, I try to step out of my head and into other's shoes.

dancing to the Modern West

earlier today, at 4:45 PM, after checking in to the hotel in Sylva:
me: Woohoo!!! I am in the mountains of North Carolina and will soon be dancing with Kevin Costner!!!
outlaw Bunny: I am officially green with envy!!! :-)
me: I wish I could have seen him in Charleston last night, too. Yowzah!
outlaw Schaal: Wow! Put pictures on fb!!
me: You know i will!! :-)
Stephanie: Lol! I'm jealous!! :-)
me: I wish you were here! Love you, Stephanie!
Stephanie: Me too :) I love you!!
Chris: Haha!! Whooo hooo!! Awesome..! I dunno if that is some sort of reference I was supposed to catch,,, and didn't... orrr You really ARE going to be around Kevin Costner.
me: Yes!! In Franklin NC in thirty minutes!

And there I am, up front for the wake-up call rally of "Hey Man"! I was singing along, word for word, adding a few little flourishes of pantomime, as I knew full well that there would be no chance the band could hear me - but I wanted to make damned sure they knew I was well-versed in their songs. Well, those from "Untold Truths", for sure.
"To my own heart I have tried to be true/ hey, man, what about you?"
I've been listening to that album for at least five years. How can I be so sure that it's been that long? Well, Sam Johnson gave me this first cd of the western rock tunes of Kevin Costner & Modern West. I had expressed an interest in knowing what type of music they played and Sam just handed me the cd one day, either late in 2008 or early in 2009 (before his death in April). I found I really enjoy these ballads, especially when I'm on long drives - easy to sing along with, constantly changing tempos, poetic turns of phrase.
Good stuff.

Here Kevin Costner is, having come across the stage to stand in front of me and kick up his heels! I guess that he wanted to dance with me, since I had been THE girl dancing to their music all night!
THE girl? Yep! I was the only one dancing, and I did so for the whole 2 1/2 hours of the show! I had made sure I caught his eye when I came up to take that first picture, then I stood in the right-hand aisle, wearing my blue-striped white shirt, and danced, danced, danced! And the boys in the band watched me, too.
ALL of the boys in the band.
Good stuff, all the way around.