there but for the grace of God

At least my youngest brother is still alive.
Sure, he's in prison, after killing his girlfriend, both in a drunken and drugged state, almost eight years ago.
But he's still alive.
For my long-time friend from our high school days, the same cannot be said of her youngest brother.

Both of us have had at least two decades of struggles with younger brothers making bad decisions. Both of our youngest brothers have had problematic relationships, exacerbated by the use of drugs and alcohol.
Problematic, hell. Let's call it what it is.
Abusive.
Any time one person is beating another person is not simply "problematic" - it's violent, brutal, and unacceptable.
When two people feel compelled to use brute force and threats of death on each other, they need to walk away while they still can.

Her youngest brother had been in trouble before for multiple threats, and actions, of violence against his wife.
My youngest brother would have been in the papers earlier, too, for those same charges, except his former girlfriends didn't come forward with any charges against him. They just left and didn't go back.
Except for Ann. She just couldn't stay away.
Sadly, she died and he went to prison.
My youngest brother will be out in 2020, if he serves the full thirteen-year sentence.
He'll be 53 years old.

My friend's youngest brother is now dead, by his own hand. He killed his recently-estranged girlfriend first, then killed himself.
He was only 48 years old, just a year older than my youngest brother.

Rest in peace, Tony Mooney.