as george carlin's cat would say

You have to go to timestamp 4:30 to understand my title.
I recommend that you start around 4:00, though.

Anywho... why did George Carlin and his cat come to mind?
Because I was in pain today.
Just like that cat that had slammed into the closed sliding glass door.
But in my case, I was not the one who inflicted the pain.
No.
The doctor and the technician at the Ralph H. Johnson VA Medical Center in Charleston did that.
It wasn't that they were trying to do me harm. Simply by performing the electromyography they caused me to have great pain in my hands.
The technician performed the nerve conduction study. He started with my left hand first, as it is the most afflicted (constant numbness and tingling of my thumb and fingers, with chronic cramping in my palm area). I was lying on the bed while he performed the tests. I was able to handle the pain until he placed the electrode pads around my thumb and palm. Then the pain overcame me and I lay there quietly crying.
When he saw that I was crying, he sprang up, mortified, and asked why I had not told him it was hurting me.
I replied that I didn't see the point of doing so. The tests still needed to be done to assess the damage in my nerves, right?
How could he argue with that logical response? So, he gave me the box of tissues and went back to work. Then it was time for me to switch orientation of the bed so he could perform the tests on the right hand.
Sigh.
After his portion of testing was completed, he left.

Then a medical student named China came in. The doctor explained the EMG's to both of us. Basically, two of the nerves (the median nerve and the radial nerve) are slower to respond than they should be. To compound the problem, the two nerves also sustain their impulses longer than they should.
The doctor then performed needle electromyography on both hands.
That was very painful.
The needle probe was inserted into the fleshy pad in my palm, near the base of the thumb, then moved around. After that, an electrical current was passed into my hand.
Very painful. Tears and torture for both hands.
Finally, she was done.
The diagnosis?
I definitely had carpal tunnel syndrome in both hands. In both, the nerve damage was moderate to severe, with the left hand faring somewhat worse than the right.
Both would most likely require operations to clip the carpal tunnel ligament.
Meanwhile, I am to wear the wrist splints when I sleep and try to avoid repetitive hand positions.
The doctor told me that if my hands are not better in "a month or two", surgery would be scheduled.

Then I was dismissed.
I left still in tears, taking refuge in the restroom briefly. Then to retrieve my car from the valet service and drive myself back home from Charleston.
At least it wasn't in rush hour traffic.

I miss Mama.