Wednesday, August 27, 2014

water hazards and golf



The joke:
God, Jesus, and Moses are playing golf one day.
Things are going well until they get to the hole with the water hazard blocking the green.
How to best proceed?
Moses is first to tee off. Before he strikes the ball, though, he stands tall, back straight, arms at his sides. Then, slowly, he raises his arms and moves them far apart. As he does this, the water parts down the middle, roiling and rolling, but leaving a clear, dry path straight to the green. Moses then takes his shot, easily landing the ball within an easy putt to the hole.
God and Jesus give polite golf claps to acknowledge his skill.
Then Jesus steps up for his turn. The ball lands squarely in the water. No worries! He walked over and onto the water, then took a second swing. The ball sailed out of the drink and up to the green, landing mere inches from the hole.
Nicely played, the others agreed.
God then approached the tee for his turn. As his ball is sailing toward the hole, it lands in the water, too. But not for long! A catfish swims to the surface and spits the ball into the air! Then a hawk swoops down and catches the ball, carrying it over the green and dropping it - but just short of the hole. Then a mole burrows up from under the ball, tilting it and causing it to roll right in for a hole in one!!!
Moses and Jesus just stood there and looked at the green and their two balls perched upon it.
Then they looked at God.
"Dad," Jesus said, "it's just a game!"

* * * * *

I have a problem with this joke.
You know, similar to the problem I had with the joke about the physics of hell.
On the surface or to someone uninformed, the above is funny.
However, the receiver of the joke is being asked to believe that Moses, by his own power, was able to control the movement of water.
Moses did not part the sea on his own, folks. Right?
Moses was just a man. He was only able to perform that feat because he was acting as the vessel for God's power.
God parted the sea.
The receiver of the joke is also asked to believe that Jesus had the power to bypass gravity and density in order to walk on water.
Jesus was not able to perform that feat on his own, folks. Right.
Jesus was just a man. He was able to walk on water because God circumvented physical laws and enabled his doing so.
God was there, holding Jesus up.
If that was all true in the ancient world, then it would certainly still hold water on a modern golf course.
Right?
Any incredible acts performed by either Moses or Jesus would be by the grace of God.
I really think I'm right on this one.
Please, do feel free to comment, though.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Can I simply say what a relief to find somebody that actually understands what they're talking about online.
You actually realize how to bring an issue to light and make it important.
A lot more people should read this and understand this
side of the story. I can't believe you aren't
more popular because you most certainly have the gift.