real flashback to Alan Ruck at Dragon*Con

My apologies for leading you astray, dear reader, with the earlier post.

Usually, the final day of Dragon*Con doesn't have much going on, as a lot of the vendors and special guests have already gone their way.

After all, that day would be a Monday.

 

Coincidentally, for 2009, Labor Day Monday was the 7th of September, just as it is this year.

Here I am at the train station with 13-year-old Morgan.

This time, I'm wearing the t-shirt I received for donating blood with the Blood Alliance on Saturday. 

I could show photos of folks in costume, but I did that earlier, so you have the gist. 

I'm launching into the shots with the man in the post title!

Yes, that's Alan Ruck, waving as he entered the room for the "Star Trek" panel!

(smile!)

That was shortly after he'd danced with me at the top of the stairs. 

We five from Hiram were standing outside the room, waiting to enter, when my BFF says, "Isn't that 'Cameron' from 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off' coming up the stairs?"

I turned, and she was right!!!

I stepped toward him, right hand outstretched, and said, "Aren't you Alan Ruck?"

Taking my hand, he replied, "I am! What is your name?"

"Faustina", I told him.

"What a beautiful name," he responded, "are you here for the panel?"

"I am, " I managed to say.

Mind, he hasn't broken stride, so we continue to hold hands as I turn in a dance twirl during our conversation.

By the time he told me that it was a pleasure to meet me and turned loose of my hand, we were outside the green room entrance.

I stood in a daze for a few moments until Sam took my arm to lead me into the room to take our seats.

What a fond memory that has been for these 17 years!!!

I remember bits and pieces from the panel discussion, but there's one thing I can recall with clarity.

In this photo, Alan is the fifth person from the let at the table.

The white-haired gent to his right - in the fourth seat - is Malcolm McDowell, in the chambray shirt.

Those two were obvious friends, as they cut up with each other while others talked of their roles in various "Star Trek" franchises.

I just loved watching them have such a good time!!!

 

And then the panel was done and they each took their leave. 

I seriously considered making a rush for the front, to steal one more hand-shaking dance with him...

but I was good with that already-stolen moment.

Just ask Sandra Lynn and Morgan and they'll confirm how star-struck I was!

(smile!) 

How could we possibly follow up that magic moment?

Believe it or not, we went to a class on towel origami! 

Morgan had just completed her 'Spuds MacKenzie' dog, with sunglasses.

Amazing!!!

Such a grand day we all had!

(smile!)

flashback to dragon*con with alan ruck

That was Labor Day weekend of 2009.

It had been a hard year, with deaths of Daddy and Sam Johnson in April.

My BFF in Hiram had her family convince me to go with them to Dragon*Con that year, as it was Morgan's birthday and she wanted to be there and wanted me to be there with them.

The previous year had been their first time, and, having been introduced to the convention in the presence of Sam Johnson (my ex's "Sam"), the kids were hoping to continue and make that a new tradition.

So, I went, driving up to Hiram to be with "my" Sam.

Then I rode the train into Atlanta with the four of them: my Sam, Ernie the husband, and the two teens, Morgan and Zach.

 

Sam and Morgan were the only ones in costume, frolicking as mermaids. 

At least I had worn the "dragon" t-shirt I'd bought two in 2008 at the airport in Oakland, as a souvenir after my visit with Paul and Cathy.

That counted as a costume, right?

We arrived in time for the parade, then we had to get in line to buy our badges, so that pretty well ate up the morning.

Were there any Stormtroopers?

Of course there were! There are always members of Darth Vader's army at these things.

However, there was also someone from one of my favorite animated series.

It's Bender, the beer-swilling robot from "Futurama"!

He was much taller than he looks on the show.

Hahahaha! 

He was in one of the endless lines, just like we were.

So were a couple of atypical Blues Brothers, as well as folks from scifi films, like "Dune", and fantasy stuff, like "Alice In Wonderland".

The attire really runs the gamut! 

What was the big draw this afternoon?

I wish I could remember...

but that was 17 years ago...

and I haven't a clue.

 

Soon enough, we were back to the train station to return to Hiram.

Who is that boy with us?

Some pal of Zach's, but I have no idea what his name was.

And where are the pics of Alan Ruck?

Well, the panel with him was actually two days later, so my bad.

(smile!)

Never fear, Smith is here, and I'll be sure to post them asap, as those were on fb, too.

165000 for a NC adventure

Well, would
you look
at that?
Here I am,
with my BFF's
darling,
dancing daughter
following along
behind me,
and my odometer
clicks into
this reading.
165000

Where am I?
Or, rather,
where are we?
Somewhere
between the
soon-to-be-sold
house in
Hiram, GA,
and the two-bedroom
condo at
Fairway Forest,
Sapphire, NC.


Truth to tell, the BFF was the one who was to accompany me on this trip.
I had booked the stay in the mountains specifically for her benefit.
She is the mountain lover.
I am the beach girl.
However, work precludes her ability to come with me. As her ex has been so remiss in his duties as a father (has not paid child support, has not paid the mortgage, to provide shelter and sustenance for their daughter), my BFF has had to take on extra work to try to at least keep food on the table and the lights and AC working.
That meant I was going to be traveling alone, to the mountains.
Drats.
Last night, at the Mexican restaurant, she had asked if I would take Morgan instead. Morgan was between graduation from high school and being a freshman at Georgia State University.
I knew what granting that request meant.
The expenses would be on me.
Sigh.
I responded that I had already told the girl-child that she could come up there. Notice the semantics I used. Those words meant she would have a place to stay, but be responsible for her meals.
Last night, I said she could come with me.
Different meaning entirely.
The only stipulation I made was that Morgan would have to drive herself to North Carolina.
I would not be going back to Hiram, as that would add four hours, easily, to my trip home. (As it was, I had scheduled this northern adventure to end roughly 48 hours before my southern adventure would begin. Whatever was I thinking???)
The stipulation was agreed to by all.

And there we were today, on the road between Hiram and Sapphire.

You know, I try to live as Sam Johnson said: don't give up, don't look back, and always give forward. It's the best feeling in the world.
He was absolutely correct.
Life is short.
We don't always get what we want, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy what we have.
I'm looking forward to getting to know Morgan better.
And I'm going to enjoy the mountains, too.
I've never been to Sapphire, but I do like the name.
(smile)
I seriously doubt I will ever come up here again.
As I said, I'm a beach girl.
So, I will make it a point to have a good time!
Right attitude, right place, right time.
(smile)

helping bury bodies

Just moments ago, my BFF sent me the following photographs by phone.

Justthatfast, I texted back,
"omG, girlfriend, which bitch did you kill? :-) "

Her response was immediate.
"I love the fact that you thought that might be an option...
... That's why we are friends..."

Of course,
the real story
is she is doing some
spring cleaning.
That includes
spreading some fresh paint
on the walls.

That's the real story.

wink, wink...

(smile)

making it official

My BFF is finally getting divorced.
It's been a long time coming.

Yesterday evening, she began the conversation by text.

her: Just said goodbye to Ernie for the last time. Divorce should be final on the 16th.
me: Was he in town?
her: Yup, flying out of Atlanta to Dubai. He wanted to have dinner with me and the kids.
me: Wow. I had thought he was here last month to sign the papers. Right?
her: He had been in Hinesville since New Years.
me: Ok. I see.
her: Yup. Now he's going back there to work (he better) and be with Elise.
me: How are you doing? Want to talk?
her: He did go out to Texas to see if that would work out (it didn't).
me: That is funny.
her: Are you busy?
me: Nope. Hard as that may be to believe.

And we talked, voice to voice, for almost an hour.
Ernie had resisted signing the papers this past summer, when he was stateside. He was so sure she would remain part of his harem that he was going to wait her out.
Now, his harem has dwindled from a wife and two mistresses to only one woman: his South African mistress with whom he is living in the UAR.
The folks over there think he and Elise are already married, because that is the lie he has perpetrated to them.
Over there, they have strict rules about married men having affairs and living with mistresses. He would lose his job, at best, and she would have been deported on the spot.
As it turns out, he's already lost his job.
He smart-mouthed to a general, about who knows what.
Craziness.

Why did he sign the divorce papers?
My BFF told him she had found someone new.
His grown son told his dad that he needed to let Sam go.
His nearly grown daughter told her dad the same thing.

Then he went out to Texas to visit his longtime mistress, Jill, the one he's had since 2009... and closed that chapter in his life.
She had gained seventy-five pounds in the past three years.
That's her assessment, not his.
Once he saw her there in the doorway, he was done.
Pretty shallow fellow.

So, sign the divorce papers he did.
Then to visit his aging dad for a couple of weeks.
He's told my BFF that he wants to come back to the States, live in the house in Hiram with his mistress and his dad.
Well, that will depend on whether her Apartheid-supporting self can gain admittance into the USA.
And whether she even wants to move here and share space with his dad.

Meanwhile, I'll be sending love and support to my BFF.
Please hurry, February 16th.
Her peace of mind is overdue.

humpback whales and headlights

Dearest Sam,

Hey, hey! I'm sitting in the Learning Commons, waiting for any of my students to come by for help. It's been thirty minutes and so far... just tumbleweeds!

This notecard is one of a package of 14 that celebrate the 14 national marine sanctuaries in the world. I picked them up at the Gray's Reef Ocean Film Festival two weeks ago. I think I would like to go whale-watching in Hawaii. I wonder when the whales are at this sanctuary?

The comic reminded me of the story you texted about Morgan's windshield wipers and the flustered mechanic. That was very funny!

Well, I better go and act like I'm a professor.
Later!

with much love always!

ps.

may day date!

So, yesterday, I had forwarded some pictures to my BFF of the trip out to the winery. I didn't hear back from her until today. Chances are VERY likely that she was already asleep when her phone received the photographs!
Really! Her sleep schedule is about the opposite of mine. She's up and at 'em at 0400 and I'm just getting to bed about that time.

BFF: How cute! Did you sample lots of tasty beverages?

me: You bet! The weather was even warm!

BFF: NICE!!!!

me: Heard that! :-)

BFF: If I may, could you check your calendar, Morgan and I are performing in the mayday show may 5, I know it's a Sunday, but we would love to see you. As an added incentive, Morgan and 3 of her friends are blowing off prom... Long story, and want me to take them on a girls formal night. Would be delighted if you were my date! Saturday May 4

me: Count me in! Sure, it is the weekend before the Final Exam - but i only have to make the test. :-) Do we get to dress up?

BFF: Bring it!!!!! As fancy as you like!

me: Yeah! And the crowd goes wild! (as only a Muppets crowd can!)

BFF: Woohoo! So excited!

me: <3

When I checked the calendar, it turned out the dates were actually Saturday, May 3rd, and Sunday, May 4th - even better! I am so glad she didn't wait until the last minute to ask me! She knows how my dance card gets filled up, so she planned well in advance... yeah!!!!
We are going to have SUCH fun!!!

when i get that feeling, i need ...

Okay, so the title is a little misleading, if you're thinking of the Marvin Gaye song. That would certainly be understandable, as that is exactly what popped into my mind when I was trying to think of a title.
But, no.
Actually, I was in dire need of some TLC this weekend and had journeyed to my bff's house to receive some. I had arrived in early afternoon yesterday, ostensibly to share the experience of watching the season premier of one of my favorite television shows.
Instead, her daughter and I busied ourselves at a mall watching a "new mythology" movie and having dinner while her mom was with her bellydancing buddies.
Ah, well, this trip was short notice on my part, not taking into account their usual weekday plans. And I do totally love spending time with my bff's darling daughter! She very nicely filled me in on the background of the characters in the movie, as it had been a while since I saw the first film. (And, no, I have not read the books.)
She also didn't kvetch about missing the previews. Nor did shw complain about where to have our meal. That was good. That was very good. Very relaxing for both of us!
In case you're wondering while I'm meandering around here, yes, we did watch the premier of my tv show. You see, they can record shows through their cable subscription, whereas I cannot. So, when we were all home again, we settled in and watched to two new episodes - yeah! Then, the daughter and I watched almost all of the episodes from last season, as I had missed them. Yeah!!! TLC to the max degree!
Then, today, we set about accomplishing my bff's game plan. First, we bounced on over to the DeKalb Farmers Market in Decatur, otherwise known as the heart of Atlanta. Wow. That place is HUGE and is filled with produce and meats and products from all over the world. Not only that, though; the prices are low, too, better than those I've seen at club markets. I had not been too keen on the idea of going there, but I'm glad we did. I have two types of couscous now, bought at a third of the usual price I've seen, and lovely pomegranates, too.
We even had lunch there - what a deal! The place had a large assortment in both hot foods and salads. The price is by the pound and you take whatever you want, as much of it as you want. I had baked snapper, broccoli, rice pilaf, Indian chicken, sauteed kale, Italian veggies, and an almond-tofu patty. With a bottle of water, the grand total coast was: $5.81. Amazing!
Next, we headed to the northeastern section of Atlanta. The destination was the lovely place shown above. No, it isn't a miniature of the Taj Mahal, but it is a work of love, built using 1,300,000 volunteer hours. The BAPS Shri Swaminarayan Mandir was completed in 2007 (!) in Lilburn. Much, if not all, of the intricate stone carvings were performed in India, then shipped here for inclusion in the ceilings, walls, columns. There are over 34,000 carvings.
A mandir is "a haven for spirituality and a place of paramount peace."
I fully agree.
I could have stayed there for hours, walking barefoot on those marble floors, admiring the statues and sculptures and silence. Soaking it into my pores and my essence. Although we were only there a brief time, I felt as relaxed as if I had been on a beach.
We all know how much I adore that.
I may even have taken a short nap as my bff drove us home again.

all mine, my Precious

I hate feeling like I'm broke.
I most definitely AM broke. And I certainly dislike being broke.
But I truly hate feeling like I'm broke.
You get the distinction?
For the past few weeks, I find myself playing this little game. It's called "wanna go to a movie?" and it goes like this:
1) since I have a bit of time on my hands these days, I'll pull up the cinema schedules to see what's playing;
2) I select a movie with a near-future start time and allow myself to look forward to going to it;
3) I putz around on the computer or in the house until too late to actually GO to the movie (even taking into account the fifteen minutes of ads and previews beforehand);
4) I tell myself it's just as well that I missed it as I don't have the money anyway for such things;
5) depending on the time, wait a few hours or a day and play again.
It gets to be quite frustrating, as I know before I look at the schedules that I'm most likely NOT going to the movie.
It all ties in too nicely with this new pity party I've been having.

I've been working hard on this pity party for weeks. I really have.
Today, I decided to toss an invite to my bff and see if she would rsvp.
She did, of course.
That's what bffs do.
Especially since I'm the 'glass half-full' gal most of the time.

Here's my invite to her, just after eleven o'clock this morning:
me: Life is hard. really sux right now.

bff: For you? What's up?

me: My stepbrother is dying, the peace Guy is gone, the first niece lives across town, no one to hug, no health insurance, no money coming in, the bfe busy with tenure stuff. I could go on.

bff: ugh. Sounds like you need beach and tequila.

me: I think I need more than that. At least the folks in the Student Success Committee were glad to have me yesterday, even tho i wasn't allowed to Chair it anymore.

me: The faculty Senate made me vacate the position when they found i was part-time status. Ditched me by unsigned email. Bass turds.

bff: yeah, that was wrong. They don't know what they are missing.

me: That is EXACTLY what the folks on the StuSucCom said! too many people do committee work just to pad their resumes. that's bullshit to do that.

bff: You have just got a big heart...

bff: maybe it's time for you to start sleeping your way to the top... haha.

me: yeah. not gonna happen. Cannot even picture that act with the dean or dept head.

bff: Maybe you and I should move to Montana and become old-lady pole dancers!!!

me: that could definitely be fun. :-)

bff: Well sweetheart, hang in there. Life really sux sometimes.

me: Heard.

No, I didn;t tell her about my middle brother living in the woods in a tent and dining on goodies from grocery store dumpsters.
He actually dines better than I do much of the time, having fresh meat a-plenty versus the canned meat I usually buy.
Plus, she is already aware of that.

No, I didn't whine about the lethargy and ennui fogging my path daily. After all, I can usually fight my way clear when I have papers to grade.
Because she is aware of that, too.

No, I didn't harp on the mess my house is most of the time, piles of unfiled papers, dust on nearly every ledge, dead palmetto bugs upside-down on the sunroom floor.
She's seen it and she is not fazed. She has seen how quickly I can whip it into shape when given the incentive.

No, i didn't add that my car has extra shakes or my air conditionling has an intermittent problem or I still have a critter traipsing around in my attic.
She would just look at me and ask why I hadn't already taken care of these bits and pieces?
After all, she has heard of some of the issues for months and months...

And how would my rising debt be any news to her? Heck, I've always had credit card fever and lately I've let it ride. She's been down that road, too, and we both know how to deal with it. Mine is starting to feel a little out of control, hence the "wanna go to a movie?" game.

Tonight, I started playing the game again. And, as usual, I putzed around until almost too late to catch the movie. Almost, but not quite.
The ticket didn't cost me anything, either. I had a free pass for that cinema, a free pass that the peace Guy had laft for me to use when he moved to Jet City.
So, in a way, he paid for me to go see the movie. What a treat!
So I treated myself to popcorn and a soda.
And this particular movie was just what my doctor would have ordered for me, if she had been aware that I was feeling so overwhelmed by life in general and everything in particular.
Watching demons and evil vampires get returned to the dust from which they rose is pretty damn satisfying.
Almost as relaxing as killing zombies.
Now, I'm not quite right as rain, but I'm getting there.
And tomorrow my car has an appointment for a remedy.

amazing

I just returned from a trip to Orlando to see my BFF's daughter dance in Downtown Disney. Truly, that was the reason I lit out of here on Tuesday morning: to watch the girl dance. Well, and to see my BFF, of course. She lives up past Atlanta, in a tiny town that Travis Tritt also calls home, and it's about 4 1/2 hours from here. Not terribly far, but not all that close, either.
Orlando is about that same distance. On Sunday, she left me a message on facebook saying "wish you would come". Well, work has been extremely quiet, so I asked for the two days off in the middle of the week and was immediately granted them. Nice! Scary, too, but nice. So I found a room for Tuesday night and off I went!
And I am so glad I did. She and I had a good chance to TALK, something she and I don't often have time for, especially as she is, essentially, a single working mother of two teens. Yeah, she's married, but he's hardly been home for several years now, as he has been working overseas. He has no idea how stressful her life is, and she tries hard to keep from letting him know because she doesn't want him to worry. I think she's letting him off the hook for his parental responsibilities.
I think when he IS home that he needs to let HER take off while he's stateside. He can be the one responsible for the care and feeding of two teenagers. And no, she is not allowed to stock the fridge, freezer, and pantry before she leaves. She is not allowed to clip the coupons which make everything more affordable. She is not allowed to pay any bills early that will be due during his tenure. She is not allowed to reschedule any of the kids' events that fall during his tenure. She is not allowed to make helpful lists for him; that's the sort of thing you do for a babysitter, not a parent, especially not a parent who is a partner in the marriage.
Yes, I think he would have a new appreciation for her and for all she does to make his life easier, not only when he is home for a visit, but also while he is away. The woman is amazing.
And get this: she doesn't see it. She's been looking at how much more she thinks she SHOULD be doing, not at how much she HAS done. (This bad habit was taught to her by her mom.) She is so busy doing things for other people in her household all the time that she isn't taking care of herself. She told me she hasn't had a physical for years. YEARS. No Pap smear, no mammogram, no blood work to check her cholesterol or liver function or thyroid function or ANYTHING. And her husband has no idea that she has forgone these necessary tasks for her own well-being so the FAMILY can have what it needs. After all, taking care of herself takes time and resources from others, and she's the mom. If she doesn't take care of everything, who will? That's what she says to me. Who will?
I say, give more responsibility to the others. She has two incredible kids, but she is concerned that people will think SHE is a failure because her son wears his pants in that ridiculous fashion (yeah, bet THAT won't come back in style in 20 years!) of his peers. Say what? First and foremost, WHO CARES WHAT STRANGERS THINK? Seriously. Oh, and his hair is dyed a weird color. SO? And he isn't doing well in a couple of classes. AND? Let me tell you this: He's polite to his elders, he's well-spoken, he's very supportive of his friends and even his sister. All are very good LEARNED qualities and are traits that others have commented on approvingly. He has several classes he positively excels in; that is certainly commendable. He does what is asked of him, though he doesn't yet do such tasks of his own volition; but he's 16, not an adult. He doesn't do drugs or sell them, a truly remarkable accomplishment these days, especially for a child of a single working parent. He isn't in jail, doesn't think it would be cool to be in jail, and doesn't hang out with jailbirds as friends. I wish I could say the same for some of the kids in MY family.
And the girl? She is very smart and beautiful, just like her mother. She is a very talented dancer and kind person, adored by her peers, her teachers, and her fellow members of the dance troupe or any other group she has ever belonged to. She is very helpful and does whatever household tasks are asked of her. True, she needs to be asked to do them, but she's only 13, not an adult. She, also, doesn't hang out with jailbirds or drug addicts, even though I'm sure this little town has its fair share of such bad influences.
I think, when you're dealing with kids who LOOK grown that it's too easy to fall into the trap of expecting them to ACT like adults. Having no children of my own, I try to keep my mouth shut about how I see folks raising their kids. After all, what do I know about it? But I can say this: I saw both of them soften and transform into true KIDS one evening last summer. We had all gone to the beach and time had gotten away from us and we were quite hungry. We went to a local place, The Crab Shack, so we could finish with treats from the ocean. (My BFF does have this one major fault: she doesn't do seafood. Fortunately, she has copious good qualities to more than offset this one shortcoming.) The kids spent some time exploring the place and, magically, became... kids. They were actually able to let down their guard and just be themselves for a while. THAT was the best part of the evening!
Enough. It's late and I need rest. But let me just close with this: Dad, make sure Mom takes care of herself and gets those doctor appointments done NOW. Also, don't expect adult actions or thought processes from the kids; they are not yet adults. Instead, realize that they are good people with good hearts and enjoy them for the people they are NOW. I sure do.