washing dishes

Today, I attended a special talk by Herb Childress. He was the keynote speaker for the 2014 Armstrong Student Scholars Symposium. His talk, titled "Now What? Jobs, Careers, and Obsessions, in College and Beyond", sounded like just the kind of pepper-upper I needed!
I arrived at the Ogeechee Theatre in the Student Union a little early. I was expecting the room to be packed for this award-winning speaker.
Sadly, that was not the case.
He ended up preaching to the choir, so to speak.
Still, it was definitely worth my time to attend. I can always use a peptalk, especially one that reassures me that my mind is working properly.
I was especially glad to be there when he was discussing the words of Thich Nhat Hanh. Never heard of him? No, me neither. But I like the way he thinks.
"When washing the dishes, one should only be washing the dishes."
How often do we find ourselves trying to multitask? How often does that pursuit lead to poorly executed tasks? How often to do we miss out on simple pleasures on our way to the "next big thing"? How often are we not present in the moment before us?
I can certainly vouch for the joys of washing dishes. I grew up sharing that task with Mama. While my brothers were in other rooms in the house or playing in the yard, she and I welcomed the time together, hands immersed in warm soapy water. Talking. The simple task became a special time of bonding for us.
Even today, when I wash the dishes, still by hand, it's as if she is by my side, sharing the task, sharing thoughts, sharing the moment.
Sure, I'm a bit off, as some might say. Ben wouldn't, though. He writes the Truly Simple blog and has a wonderful take on the above dish washing quote. Actually, I wouldn't mind meeting him someday for some discussions about life, while washing dishes, perhaps.

I'll leave you with my paraphrase of these final words from Herb.
"Identify your obsessions.
Find work that feeds them.
That's all."

you were only killing time and it'll kill you right back

I just love the lyrics of John Steinman!
Especially when Meat Loaf is giving voice to them!
The point of the song (Out of the Frying Pan) was driven home today.
The summer is coming and I have no air conditioning.
I think there may be some days coming soon being in a frying pan is how I'll be feeling.
That's okay, I'll see how it goes. if I get to feeling more direct heat than indirect, well, I'll deal with it then.
Meanwhile, I'll have some A/C to escape into until the middle of June.
Of course, that'll be a frying pan of a different sort: kitteh-sitting the bfe's two old lady - I mean, OLD LADY - cats. Neither are in the best of health and certainly might not have withstood four weeks in a foster home while he is away in Ontario. After all, both girls have now lived than 13 years of this particular one of their nine lives.
Speaking of that, do you guess cats believe in reincarnation? Do you ever wonder if the nine lives myth might refer to the number of times they get to return to life on Earth before their energy is redistributed? If cats are granted multiple chances to get life right, then why don't dogs and horses and humans get to have multiple lives? Or do we? Are those who tell tales of being so-and-so in a previous life telling the truth? Are our predilections toward favorite things a remnant from an earlier existence?
I wonder such things, though not generally around other people. After all, folks might wonder about the tightness of my grip on reality. Well, assuming they don't already wonder about that.
(smile!)
As I was saying, I'll be visiting the girls on a frequent basis. Honestly, I'm surprised that I agreed to do such a thing. I know his love for them and so this is an incredible responsibility I have undertaken. It's a lunacy to have agreed, akin to saying I would take care of someone's two children while they were gone for a month.
I certainly wouldn't have agreed to do this for anyone else.
But when the topic was broached recently of his impending travels (he leaves on May 20th and returns June 14th), I had asked what his plans were for his girls.
And I had volunteered my services.
And he had said that he had hoped I would.
So, there you have it.
He will write up a list of things to be done, vets' phone numbers, where the amoxillin is for Tess' intermittent sinus troubles, where needles and steroids are should they be required to offset the pain in a failing kitty, how to administer a needle pop... you know, the important stuff.
That last part, though, I may not be able to do. That's okay, his girlfriend is a physician's assistant and he'll include her phone number, so she can ride to our rescue (from Charleston? from Beaufort?), if need be.
I certainly hope that fire can be avoided.
The situation is complicated by the fact that the bfe is currently without a communicator.
Sure, he has email. He has facebook, too.
But his phone is useful only as a timer these days.
When he went up to Canada for a five-day stint in March, he wasn't mindful of the international fees for his internet usage. Even though his phone service kept trying to warn him, he ignored the alerts. He kept killing time by dawdling in the ether and ran up a bill that's higher than his rent.
Ouch.
So, now our only form of communication is via the aforementioned email and facebook system. Just so you know, that can be pretty slow going and is highly dependent on our checking in on those sites.
Ouch.
But maybe my lunch today will be a good omen of things to come. You notice how the red pepper slices form the numbers "2 0 1 4"? Isn't that cool??? When I pointed it out to the waitress, she assured me the kitchen staff had not deliberately done that. Coincidence must have, right? Or serendipity?
Coincidence and serendipity certainly had a hand in my being there, at Outback, for lunch today. After all, multiple factors combined to produce this resultant salad display for me.
First, my tire blew out.
Yep, one of the new tires I had bought last fall.
Fortunately, I was only about half a mile from the dealership which had sold me the tires. I just kept driving and limped on in there.
Fortunately, today was a Tuesday, so they weren't too busy and would be able to tend to my car in about an hour.
Perfect! I had not yet had lunch!
Where to dine, though?
Well, do you recall me kvetching about having lost a hundred dollar gift card back in March? I had found it over the weekend, while cleaning out my trunk. For whatever reason, it was in a plastic bag. By itself. It's a wonder I had not already recycled the bag, honestly.
Fortunately, one of the restaurants of the group listed on the card was right next door to the tire shop.
Right?
I was in the right place, at the right time.
Nice!
So, that is how I ended up with this beautiful tuna salad, for free.
THAT is a good use of a fire and a frying pan!

buzzzz goes the bee

Before class tonight, I was walking through the arboretum on campus.
Suddenly, there it was!!!
It was HUGE!!!
I don't know what that bumblebee was trying to locate on this tree, but it was very busy doing it. In fact, I was able to get fairly close to it a number of times, hoping to catch a picture that would do justice to it.
With the camera on my 2007 Samsung flip phone.
I think I did a pretty good job!

returning for a Modern Wedding

Actually, it was a reception. The wedding was last weekend, in Maryland.
This reception was for all to celebrate the marriage of Deborah to Kimmi, her love of the last seven years. What truly blessed times we live in that these two have been allowed to pledge their troth, for the rest of their lives, in front of God, country, and the world!
Truth to tell, I almost didn't make it there.
It's been wonderful these past three days, but driving in the mountains, whether they are in North Carolina, Tennessee, or Georgia, has been physically exhausting. Sure, it's pretty country, you bet. But, as the driver, you really don't get to enjoy much of the scenery, except in a large sense. You know what I mean? About the time you can focus in on that span of rapids, the road swerves and you must swerve, too, or crash through the guard rail and into the river. Or you notice that the pine trees on top of the mountain ridges look very much like the stray hairs on an old man's head - but then have to snap your attention back on the twisting gray serpent beneath your tires or risk a ride down a steep, seemingly bottomless, ravine just five feet to your right.
Now, picture doing that for hours and hours, for three days running.
Exhausting.
But my mental and emotional states are in fine form! My planned visit with my youngest brother this morning went very well, with him waiting on my arrival to the visitation room. Usually, it's the other way around. He is not allowed to come to visitation until he has showered and shaved and donned his finest prison garb. That takes a little time. This time, he knew a month ago that I was coming and when I would arrive and when I needed to leave.
I definitely need to be sure to work it that way in the future.
We had a very good visit for nearly four hours! What a great improvement over the last time I was able to see him. I know that part of the reason was the preparation beforehand.
Again, I need to be mindful of that in the future.
I hold told him in the letter that I needed to depart by 1 PM so I could arrive home in time for the wedding reception. Cool. At noon, he went to the guard desk to ask that they bring in the package of his books and papers that would be traveling home with me. And they very nicely compiled, bringing out a heavy box a few minutes before I was to leave. When I signed for the box, I saw it had only been approved on Monday.
Whew, that was cutting it close! So, I need to allow more than four weeks notice for such things in the future. But, for now, his Concordance, two Bibles, and envelope of old mail and study guides were out of his locker, allowing space for new possessions.
This is the second time since his arrival there that I have been allowed to help him save some of his meager possessions. He has been in Summerville since May of 2011.
Anyway, as I said, we had a very good visit, swapping stories of my travels and the family for tales of life under the new guard and his current living space. Then I collected the box, we gave each other our last hugs, and I retrieved my driver's license and keys from the security shack and got back in my car for the drive home.
As soon as I sat, I realized how drained I was.
Apparently, my body is not as young as it once was and cannot handle such long rides of constant attention in mountainous country. I was absolutely exhausted, and I had a six-hour drive ahead of me.
So, I made frequent stops. Oh, let's get some lunch and iced tea. Okay, time to stop and let some fluids out of my body! But a cold lemon-flavored water would be good to revive me. And now it's time to stop again.
Thank God I had the presence of mind to avoid the idiocy of that stretch of I-75 that services McDonough and Jonesboro. Those people cannot drive on interstates, yet they persist in trying, nearly killing the rest of us. No, not me, not this time. I took 20-East until I hit 441-South, following that to Dublin and I-16-East and home. A little variation to keep my mind from wandering, especially as tired as I was.
I also went straight - pardon me, "gently curving" - to the VFW Post 660, which was hosting the wedding reception. I arrived at the same time as the newlyweds! Whew! What good fortune!
And now, after a fun time with them and old friends I hadn't seen for a while and new friends that I don't see enough, I am home.
Time for bed and sweet dreams, y'all.

eating at the Modern Tavern

Who would have expected a little place like Monteagle, Tennessee, to have elegant dining?
But it does.
Apparently, Dave tired of the usual fare and opened his own place, called simply Dave's Modern. Folks did come and try it out, liking what they found on the plates there, like the tasty grilled salmon I dined upon.
But folks get thirsty, too, including Dave. So he expanded the selection of beers and modified the name to Dave's Modern Tavern. That last word drew in a different crowd and soon the place was thriving, between the gourmands and the craft beer fans.
Dave's a pretty smart fellow.
How did I come to be there?
Well, this morning, I was texting to Stephanie and Chris - of Monteagle - that I was going to the Tennessee Aquarium in Chattanooga after I left North Carolina and expected to be there between 2 and 3 PM. I had checked the map and found Monteagle would only be another hour westward and wondered if they would be able to meet me on such short notice?
Oh, yes! Stephanie would love that, but she had to work until 5. We could meet for dinner and hang out until I had to leave for Dalton for the night!
Her brother Chris was in Atlanta for a concert, so he wouldn't be able to join us. Nor would her fiancee, Daniel, as he was on a business trip.
Cool beans, just me and her it would be!

I was able to visit the Aquarium for more than three hours.
The place had added another building and completely changed the exhibits since my previous visit in 2001, after Mama died, with the BFF and her family.
But of course things had changed! More otters, more stingrays, more seahorses! There were even two blue macaws!
The exhibit with all the different jellyfish really caught my attention and I spent a good deal of time exploring those rooms. Aren't these tiny ones so cool?!!
I left Chattanooga just before 5 PM, as rush hour traffic was starting, and I arrived in Monteagle right after 5 PM.
Wait! I had said they were an hour apart!
That's right... but one is on Eastern Time and one is on Central Time.
So even though I gained an hour going there, I lost that hour on the return trip to Chattanooga. I then drove in the dark, in the mountains, to the hotel here in Dalton, Georgia, in preparation for my visit with my youngest brother in the morning.
Well worth the extra time in driving! Stephanie and I were able to spend almost three hours together! I haven't seen her since the trip to Nags Head for the Kopek family reunion in July of 2009.
I especially wanted to see her and talk with her about her dad's death. I had been in Las Vegas and was unable to come for the funeral and truly wanted to make sure she knew that I cared.
I very much recall what a loss it was when Daddy died five years ago. In fact, tomorrow will make exactly five years.
After talking to her, I am not worried about how the loss of her father has affected her. I think she foresaw his impending death after Gwen passed away last July. Stephanie seems to have had the time to prepare herself for her dad's passage, much as I did for my own father's death. What a blessing to have had that time to treasure and to know it as special. And what a fine young woman she has become, with a very good head and sense of purpose. She will soon be 34 years old and reminds me of my first niece in both maturity and outlook.
When she and Daniel get married in another year, I will be there.
Hopefully, I will also see them in mid-June, as the Kopeks and Davidsons gather in Orlando this time for their annual get-together.
Hopefully?
I can do better than that...
I will plan to be there!

dancing to the Modern West

earlier today, at 4:45 PM, after checking in to the hotel in Sylva:
me: Woohoo!!! I am in the mountains of North Carolina and will soon be dancing with Kevin Costner!!!
outlaw Bunny: I am officially green with envy!!! :-)
me: I wish I could have seen him in Charleston last night, too. Yowzah!
outlaw Schaal: Wow! Put pictures on fb!!
me: You know i will!! :-)
Stephanie: Lol! I'm jealous!! :-)
me: I wish you were here! Love you, Stephanie!
Stephanie: Me too :) I love you!!
Chris: Haha!! Whooo hooo!! Awesome..! I dunno if that is some sort of reference I was supposed to catch,,, and didn't... orrr You really ARE going to be around Kevin Costner.
me: Yes!! In Franklin NC in thirty minutes!

And there I am, up front for the wake-up call rally of "Hey Man"! I was singing along, word for word, adding a few little flourishes of pantomime, as I knew full well that there would be no chance the band could hear me - but I wanted to make damned sure they knew I was well-versed in their songs. Well, those from "Untold Truths", for sure.
"To my own heart I have tried to be true/ hey, man, what about you?"
I've been listening to that album for at least five years. How can I be so sure that it's been that long? Well, Sam Johnson gave me this first cd of the western rock tunes of Kevin Costner & Modern West. I had expressed an interest in knowing what type of music they played and Sam just handed me the cd one day, either late in 2008 or early in 2009 (before his death in April). I found I really enjoy these ballads, especially when I'm on long drives - easy to sing along with, constantly changing tempos, poetic turns of phrase.
Good stuff.

Here Kevin Costner is, having come across the stage to stand in front of me and kick up his heels! I guess that he wanted to dance with me, since I had been THE girl dancing to their music all night!
THE girl? Yep! I was the only one dancing, and I did so for the whole 2 1/2 hours of the show! I had made sure I caught his eye when I came up to take that first picture, then I stood in the right-hand aisle, wearing my blue-striped white shirt, and danced, danced, danced! And the boys in the band watched me, too.
ALL of the boys in the band.
Good stuff, all the way around.

90 mph to zero and back again

Monday, 21 April, 7:50 to 9:13 PM
me: My first early night home!
Hai: Congratulations!!! You finish that test yet you slacker!?!?!?
me: Did not have a chance this morn. Will do later tonight. For now, I eat cantaloupe!
Hai: Again, it's a good thing you're not Asian. There would be no cantaloupe for you until you're done with writing that test.
me: Then I am VERY glad to not be Asian. I do like the cantaloupe.
Hai: You should be -
me: I really didn't have any say in that. It is not something I could CHOOSE, like religion or politics or fav color.
Hai: Again be grateful.
me: But it is not something which can be changed. It is best to accept and to use one's heritage as an asset and a strength.
Hai: Sounds like soft hearted white folk talk to me.
me: Actually it is eldest daughter of an alcoholic and an overworked mom. That means i had to be the responsible one at all times. part of the reason i enlisted.
Hai: You're not the only one. Again yous ain't Asian.
me (starting to fray at the ends): And i can never be Asian. I can no more change my skin or heritage than anyone else can. People would do well to remember that. Down with bias!
Hai: Actually you can. Pigmentation surgery and yous Asian. BOOM!!!! Again more soft hearted white folk talk.
me (really unraveling): That is not right.
Hai: It's just life.
me: I do hope you are just yanking my chain. I am NOT just some kind hearted 'white folk'.
Hai: Tsk tsk jumping to conclusions again.
me: Well, it is hard to catch a teasing tone from a text.
Hai: Exactly.
me: That's why I really do not like texting.
Hai: You and everybody.
me: No, not true. Secrest only texts, except to his parents.
Hai: Again, text tone.

That's when I found myself in tears and elected to stop participating in the conversation. I had gone from perfectly elated at having most of my Monday evening back in my possession (yeah!!! no more labs!!!) to utterly inconsolable and unclear of the origin of my sorrow.
Then I realized why. Five years ago today, I was at work that Tuesday morning when my cell phone rang.
Caller: "Hello, may I speak to Jeff McDermott?"
Damn. Someone who didn't know we were divorced and I had ported over the old home number as my cell number.
me: "He cannot be reached at this number anymore. We are divorced and he is living in Mississippi. I could give you his new number."
Caller: "I'm calling from the dialysis center. Sam Johnson had given us this number to contact."
me: "Oh. I know Sam. Is there anything I can do?"
Caller: "Well, he didn't show up this morning for his dialysis appointment. Usually, when he isn't going to make it, he calls to reschedule, but he hasn't and we haven't been able to reach him."
me: "I know his brother Anthony was to pick him up today to take him there. Have you spoken to him?"
Caller: "Yes, we talked to him, and he is on his way to Sam's place now."
me: "Okay, I'll see if I can contact him, too."
Caller: "Thank you. Please have him call us and let us know what is going on."

What the hell...
So, I called Sam's phone number.
A depressed voice answered: "Hello?"
Me, voice cracking: "Anthony??? This is Tina. Why are you answering Sam's phone???"
I knew the answer before he spoke.
Anthony: "He's dead. I came here to pick him up and he's dead."
Me, sobbing: "Anthony, I am so sorry. The dialysis center called me to say he hadn't shown up this morning and I didn't know why he would have missed his appointment..."
Anthony: "Tina, I'm going to have to call you back. I can't talk right now."

And my day in 2009 had gone from perfectly fine, cruising at 90 miles per hour with windows down, to a heart-crushing halt.
Perfectly understandable. Sam had been my rock, my beacon, my voice of sanity, guiding me down from the ledge of pure crazy many a night in the past two years.
Why had a simple verbal tousle with Hai had such an effect on me???
I ended up running off to the cinema, which, miraculously, had a 10 PM showing of "Rio 2", an animated film which would be guaranteed to brighten my smile and ease my heart.
Just so you understand what an incredible stroke of good fortune this was: the cinema which was showing this film only has late movies on Fridays and Saturdays. For all other days of the week, the last film begins in the 7 PM time slot.
Why they had this film at this time on a MONDAY was beyond me, but I was truly grateful they did.
Moreover, I had a Groupon for the cinema, so I was able to go with no money in hand. I got free popcorn, too.
Definitely an angel was looking out for me.
So I laughed and smiled at the silly jokes and sang along with the sweet songs and admired the bright, dancing color displays and aerial acrobatics.
Then I came home, mood elevated, and turned on the television to find... ABRACADABRA!!! A musical! Specifically, "That 70's Musical" was on!!! And it even had Roger Daltrey in it!!! He even ate a cheeseburger in the smoky Foreman basement!!!

Ah, my angels were working purely sweet magic for me!
Not only did I watch the episode, gleefully, from start to finish, but I also took pictures of several scenes! Then, after it ended, I immediately searched online to find it so I could watch it AGAIN! And AGAIN I took pictures!!! Wow!
I was up until almost 4 AM.
I slept the blessed sleep of one who is cherished, while visions of dancing and singing Foremans and Fez and company twirled and swayed in my dreams.

Today, while waiting for students to come during my Office Hours, I wrote down the texts which ran along the ether highways twixt me and Hai, so I could remove them from my phone. As I did, I understood what had caused my psyche to swerve into a ditch two days ago.
me: I just figured out how i went from okay to in tears from our conversation on Monday.
Hai: How so?
me: I was looking back at the texts and when i got to the one where you said 'BOOM!!!', that is what triggered it. Made me think of Sam.
[He liked to say BOOM goes the dynamite!]
Hai: Ah got ya.
me: Monday marked five years since i got the call from the dialysis center looking for him.
Amazing how just one word can rouse so many memories.
Hai: The mind's a powerful thing.
me, trying to lighten the mood: The surplus of exclamation points didn't help. Just one would have sufficed.
Hai: Sorry, extra exclamation points are my thing.
me: No way, Jose!!! They are MINE, all MINE!!! White person prerogative.
Hai: Again, the white folk stealing everything.
me: Bwah ha ha, Hai!!!

Thank God I leave tomorrow for a trip of distraction, in memory of Sam and Daddy and David and Ann.
I will still have to finish writing the test on my return.
Especially as I am giving it to my students on the 28th.

film fest with the physicist

What a fabulous day today! I awoke late, but right on time for my first niece to call before breakfast and lure me away to a Mexican brunch! Muy bueno, chica!!! She and I had fajitas and conversation for two hours! Very nice way to start my day!
Then, I managed to get the front yard and almost half of the back yard mowed before the battery ran low in my mower. Yeah! After all, I had hoped to get at least the front done before the rain came.
Oh, blue sky day, you say?
(smile.)
True, the day began that way. But, as time approached for my dinner at Chez Secrest, I knew the rain would, too. You see, it's become a bit of an inside joke for us. Fortunately, we both like rain.
This time, it held off until after we had dined on Garlic-Ginger Shrimp Couscous. We were inside, enjoying the Fliss of Kickstarter Film Festival when the rains came. All comfy cozy were we, with cats in laps!

Oh, I see I lost you with that film festival reference. Sorry 'bout that! No, it was not an advertised event, it was a viewing of six of the short films I have backed as Fliss. Fliss of Kickstarter.
(smile.)
Best of all, for me, was the bfe's active embrace of the event. Truly.
Yesterday, I had first suggested my bringing some of my swag to share, instead of him supplying a movie. He had agreed and today I had picked out six shorts for us, being mindful of his tastes.
Tonight, after dinner was done and we adjourned to the living room, I brought out the films. He encouraged me to give him some synopses, then he arranged the films in the order he thought would be best...being mindful of my tastes. Meaning, he was sure to place an upbeat film as the finisher. I must say, I think he did an excellent job with the scheduling!
(smile!)
First up was "Allegheny Creek". I had told him it was about a fellow released from prison and trying to reconnect with his son and ex-wife. After the film was over, he remarked on its ending, that it felt real, leaving things unresolved and unsettled. Good!
Next up was the Reichard brothers' film. I had billed it as a robbery of a diner, with a twist. (Pretty much the same way I had titled my review of "The Restaurant Job".) Big hit! The bfe loved its professional feel and the way the story played out. Good! I had hoped he would!
"The Flight" did not quite suit his fancy. My synopsis had been that it was a post-apocalyptic tale with a lesbian lead, but was not an LGBT film. At the tale's end, he admitted that the steampunk-flavor lent a prettiness overall, but the plot was fairly tame. I added the background of the local library's summer of 2011 program which had been centered on Ray Bradbury's "Fahrenheit 451', which had no doubt had an impact on this project. I had attended several of the events and totally enjoyed the science fiction. (Note: it was NOT 2011, but 2008 for that Bradbury book.)
Yeah, yeah. Next film, please!
(smile!)
So, on to the story of the girl-crazy boy who gets cursed by a gypsy! Oh, wait, that isn't PC! But the title is "Gypped", so the term stays. So there! This humorous fable of a fellow with hubris was a fine mental palate cleanser, offering a quick and bubbly bit of distraction before the more sober tale to follow.
"Billy Brown", the film about the would-be comedian in search of the right audience, was to be the fifth and penultimate film in our festival of shorts. However, it only got halfway in before technical difficulties interfered with out viewing. Perhaps that was one of my angels looking out for me. After all, I had cautioned the bfe that I had cried all three times that I have watched this film. Still, I will try to upload it for him, as I think he may like the realness of its title character.
And so we reached the sixth of six films. I had spoken of "Assisted Loving" as a love story in a nursing home, done beautifully by the talented Sam Queen. With its professional touch and zany characters, this film was definitely the perfect dessert to enjoy as our evening neared its end. Like the physicist, I anticipate more good works from these craftsmen.
Such a lovely evening, I tell you!
And look... the rain had even stopped.
(smile!)

good to the very last drop

Better than a week ago,
the ever-huggable Hai
had asked if I were going to be home on Friday afternoon.

He wouldn't give a reason.

He was being quite mysterious.

Then he arrived with this beauty!

Earlier this week, that "new to me" television set lost its voice.

The picture was still fine, but no sounds emanated from its depths.

Not quite a week had passed.


Drats.

This morning, before I went to my Weight Watchers meeting, I took it out of the house - oof! so heavy! - and set it by the curb.
Today is the day the city trash service picks up household goods.
When I returned home around noon, it was already gone.
The city truck doesn't make its collections until mid-afternoon.
I guess someone out there must have a need for huge, broken, VCR tube-driven, heavy doorstops.

I haven't had the heart to tell Hai that I no longer have the tv.
He had been so pleased with being able to surprise me with it.
I'm sure it was an attempt to thank me for his birthday gift.
Actually, he could just take me out to 17Hundred90 again.
What a lovely evening that had been! Fresh from my first successful week at Weight Watchers, he and I had gone to that fancy restaurant for a
"steak dinner", as he had deemed me worthy of such.
His girlfriend, he had said, was not yet worthy.
Score! Major points for me!
(big smile!)

those little teacups from Limoges

This morning, I was putting some dishes away. Somehow, this one caught the corner of the cabinet door and squiggled right out of my hands.
CRASH!!!

Fortunately, I still have one blue fish.
Dr. Seuss would be pleased about that.
But here's the odd thing: it looks bigger when it's shattered all over the tile.
I guess that can be an analogy for the effect of loss.
When we lose someone dear to us, that broken state can easily swamp out everything else in our lives.
As I learned last year, the losses of family and friends can be overwhelming, throwing hurricane-force winds and tsunamis into our path, obliterating the light of day, the light of life.
It's important to remember this: you are not alone.
Others also loved the one who has passed.
Others are also caught in the storm with you.
Together, you can help each other survive.
Let the towering wave of loss wash over you, be mindful of its devastation. Than rise and walk on.
You still live.
Be mindful of those loved ones who still share this space with you.

Now, on a less serious note (literally and figuratively), I know you are wondering at least one thing.
To what do you owe the pleasure of this post's title?
I'm glad you asked!
Check out "You Broke My Heart". Sung by a fellow channeling Dean Martin, it's a rather nice diversion.
No, I am not familiar with the show, or game, or whatever it is.
I had stumbled upon the site while surfing and thought the ride was totally tubular, man.
It brightened my day!

i'm just mad about saffron

Don't it make my blue car yellow?
(Hey, I'm paraphrasing a song, okay?)
Plant sperm!
All over my car!!!
You know what I'm talking about.

Yes, I realize that for three years running, around this time of year,
or sometimes earlier,
I am compelled
to comment
on this natural occurrence.
Compelled to comment,
I say!

I think the presence of the yellow bits in my sinuses and in my eyes clouds not only my respiration and sight, but also the flow of oxygen to my poor, beleaguered brain.
In much the same way in which the swallows return to Capistrano and loggerhead turtles return to the beaches of their birth, my senses carry the same data to the same locale in my gray matter.
That information triggers the same conclusions drawn by previous data-gathering forays.
Plant sperm is in the air!
Nowhere to hide!
Certainly no sense in washing the car until the onslaught has ceased, n'est-ce pas?

pulling it out by the roots

I was in a foul mood when my first niece arrived.
I had gone to Weight Watchers to find I had gained several pounds.
Not good. I was plenty upset about it.
My plan had been to retreat home and sulk.
No sooner did I arrive home than she pulled in the driveway.
Determined to cut short her stay, I met her outside.
We talked out there for about thirty minutes, standing by her vehicle.
No sign that she would soon be leaving.
Aggravated at having my pity party interrupted, I started pulling weeds. You know, channel some of that destructive urge into something positive.
And you know what?
She began pulling up dandelions with me, following my lead, grabbing their leaves together near the base and hoisting them, roots and all, out of the ground.
Sometimes, the leaves would tear off.
Sometimes, the long taproot would break in half.
Every broken piece oozed white, milky, sticky blood.
All the while, we talked about kids and school and "Divergent".
We did this for almost three hours.
And you know what?
My funk lifted.
I never did talk to her about the Weight Watchers meeting.
I just didn't feel like dragging that out there.
And you know what?
She allowed me to leave it out.
She knows I will talk about it when I'm ready to do so.
She is generous enough to wait me out.

I do so love that girl.
Coincidence that she came by?
You're kidding, right?
We both know she was on a mission from my mother.

cat whisperer

Hi, my name is Faustina.

Hi, Faustina.

I'm a cat whisperer, apparently.

Um... you may be at the wrong meeting...

[Misinterpreting the muttering of the crowd] Yeah, the news comes as a surprise to me, too. But cats - at least two that I know - have had me intervene on their behalf on more than one occasion.

Mama told me to humor crazy people. Let's see where this goes.

Tonight, I was over at the physicist's place for dinner and a movie. We've been doing that on Tuesdays fairly frequently this year and I've really enjoyed it. Tonight's feast was a country picnic, replete with barbequed chicken breast, roasted ears of corn, and black beans - yum! He had even been mindful of my lactose intolerance and bought "Better Than Sour Cream Sour Cream" for the beans! And the chicken... ooh la la! So very flavorful! It really reminded me of Chicken Adobo, a Phillippine dish that I haven't made in years.

I thought she was going to talk about cats.

While he was putting the finishing touches on the meal, he was telling me about Contessa the Cat's latest little trick. It seems that, for the past few mornings, she was awakening him about 5 AM by pressing her water-soaked forehead against his face. LOL!!!
Of course, this was very recent behavior, and from a cat that had an aversion to baths, so why was she doing this?
He did not know.
So, we dined and had a little wine and set about getting settled in for the second of a three-part French film series. A mini-Francophone film fest, sil vous plai!

[shifting in the seat] This may go on a while...

At least I remembered my glasses this time! When we had watched the first film of the trio, I had known it was French... but had not realized that there would be subtitles to read on a small screen. THAT had been interesting to try to decipher! Especially as there waa chatting and cat petting occurring, too.
Well, the same was true this time, as well: English subtitles in a French film whilst petting the dear Contessa and tossing topics with the bfe. But this time I could read the subtitles. Definitely made it easier to follow the plot!

[more shifting in the seat] You guess she is ever going to get to the cat whispering? Like, tonight??

So, there I was watching the movie on the couch. This time, Contessa stayed right with me the whole time. Well,not quite. Every so often she would go get a drink from the new little water fountain the cats had, then she would return for me to pet her. Return with her forehead sodden with water. Every time.
Almost like she was waiting for me to "get it."
She must have the patience of Job, but that great patience was finally rewarded.
I suggested to the bfe that Contessa might be having a depth perception problem and was not able to distinguish the waterfall from the white backboard. Perhaps he should paint it a different color? Maybe put some racing stripes on it to help her perceive it?
Or maybe he should just give the kitty her water dish instead of making her 14-year-old self learn a new trick just to drink water????
At which he jumped up and fetched her red ceramic water bowl from the dish rack, filled it, and placed it on the kitchen floor in its usual spot.
While she watched intently.
Mission accomplished.
She truly IS a most intelligent blue tortoise cat.
Beautiful, too, in her asymmetrical markings and peach lightning bolt.

Nice story. Smart cat, too. Okay, let's go before she starts up again.

a last thank you

On Sunday, Darcy Ray breathed her final breath without her dear husband at her side.
You see, he died years ago.
She has been waiting for her time to join him once more.
I knew her through my dear friend Deborah. A few years ago, when I was particularly losing my mind in my AD years, Deborah had let me "borrow" her mom, who was living with Deborah's brother and his family here in town.
Darcy had not been happy about being moved to Savannah from Maryland. I don't think I would have been very happy about such a move, either. You see, Deborah and her brother went up there for Thanksgiving one year and packed up her stuff and packed up her and came back here. She was not consulted about the move; she was told that was just the way it was going to be.
Deborah had thought it would be good for her mom to meet me, and the friendship would certainly be helpful to me. And Darcy and I hit it off pretty well, despite the great difference in our ages.
Heck, I'm not afraid of an age difference.
No, let me rephrase that.
I'm not afraid of an age difference for women in friendship situations.
I think I am still adjusting to the idea of differences in age for me and any guy I may be romantically interested in. I am seven years older than my ex and ten years younger than the Charleston bird I saw for two years. Still, I think Deborah is setting a good example for me, as she is about twenty-five years older than her soon-to-be wife.
I think Darcy would have been very happy about the upcoming first wedding of her elder daughter. Since her stroke a few months ago, Darcy has been much happier about many things. Perhaps she knew her long solitude was drawing to a close and her dear companion would once more be at her side.
I am sure she did.

ah got ya

So, there I was, at an Asian restaurant, with an Asian man, eating my seared sesame ahi tuna with chopsticks.
Him?
He had beef stir-fried with eggplant - and used a fork.

(smile!)

Maybe it's just me, but I thought it was pretty funny!
It was definitely fun!
The whole evening had been fun, actually. We had first gone to see the latest Wes Anderson film, "The Grand Budapest Hotel". I had asked earlier in the afternoon if he wanted to go to a movie, he had asked which one, and I had given him a list of films I wanted to see. He chose this one and I didn't tell him I had seen it on Friday. After all, I had placed it on ths list for two reasons: 1) I thought he would really enjoy it, and 2) I had really enjoyed it.
And he really enjoyed it! Hai is a huge fan of that writer and director, apparently, as are nearly all who know him. The film is full of cameos by actors who leapt at the chance to work with him, whether for the first time or not. Go ahead, click the film link and scroll through the cast list, I'll wait.
.
.
.
Pretty cool, right! This time, I saw the end of the credits, which made this even more of a new experience for me. Definitely worth it!
I so enjoy seeing movies with Hai. Trained in theatre and cinema, he has an eye for details - and a knowledge of backstory - that I do not. I always learn something new!
And, as I've mentioned at least a time or two or three, he gives great hugs.
He's pretty good with zombie-killing, too.
(smile!)

some typical meals these days

Lab Gai,
at Pad Thai restaurant

scrambled eggs with onions,
red peppers, and celery,
as well as toast topped with red pepper hummus, and, of course, coffee with milk

sauteed chicken breast, with balsamic carrots -
lunch is served!

pork loin with peaches, baked sweet potato, and mixed greens with peach vinaigrette - that physicist knows his way around a kitchen!

slunch at the university Galley:
roast pork loin, baked potato wedges, sweet carrot coins, and BIG salad of spinach and lettuce hearts - and black olives, too!

a lighter breakfast: toasted English muffins, topped with 2 ounces of pine nut hummus, with sweet slices of red and orange bell pepper - yum!

17Hundred90's style,
for a fancy dinner with Hai:
grilled shrimp,
sauteed vegetables,
and risotto
... and,
not shown,
a delectable square of bread pudding










And now, gentle reader, it's time for a little snack before I go to bed, whilst my mattress warmer does its thing.
Bye!

Marilyn, Robert, and Mister Willie

As I told the bfe, Hai, and that first niece of mine, tonight I dined with Marilyn Monroe, danced with Robert Cray, and even got to see Mister Willie!
No, not that Mr. Willie! I'm talking about the old man I sit with at the Gnats' games!
Hahahaha!

This evening, the Jepson Center featured
a lecture and reception as a prelude
to the grand opening tomorrow of the
"Marilyn: Celebrating An American Icon" exhibit.
The lecture concerned not so much Marilyn,
the person, of whom we all know the basics,
but Marilyn, the muse,
as perceived by various artists of the world.
Very interesting spin,
full of comparisons of the diverse works,
even contrasting the subsequent creations
with the original images upon which they are based.
I haven't yet visited the exhibit,
but it is said to contain the works of more than sixty artists!
After the lecture, "Marilyn" arrived by black convertible and sang to us - and flirted, too! - feeding our senses of sight and hearing while the reception slaked our senses of smell and taste and touch!
I do so enjoy these free parties the museum throws for us members!
Free wine for those of age, free lemonade for those who are not, and fancy food for all!

As you can see,
the sushi is beautifully presented,
as are the "Marilyn" crab cakes.
Get it?
There were other little puns
on the names,
but that is the only one
juicy enough to get stuck on the fabric of my brain.

I had to leave before the party ended, as I had a "date" with Robert Cray, bluesman extraordinaire, and his fabulous band, courtesy of the Savannah Music Festival. I've had my dance ticket since November, patiently waiting, waiting, waiting, for this evening to arrive. I haven't seen him since March of 2007, in Las Vegas, so this was going to be a treat!

Where were we meeting, you ask?
At the finest venue in town! That's right: the Lucas Theatre!!!
I had made sure to buy my ticket in the "dance" section, too.
Oh, yeah!
And dance I did, the entire time the man played! Sure, there were lots of new songs I didn't know, but all you have to do is listen to the beat of the drums and MOVE. But he also regaled me - oops, I mean the audience - with songs from "Strong Persuader", like "Right Next Door" and "Smoking Gun" and "Nothin' But A Woman". Wow!!!
Almost two hours later I was off to the ball park, to see if I could catch the last few minutes of the first home game of the season for our South Atlantic League champions. That's right, I said it: champions!!! My boys of summer did well last year, did very well indeed!
And I did catch the last two at-bats in the bottom of the ninth. The Sand Gnats may have lost this game, but we, the faithful fans, still were rewarded with FiREwORkS!!! Woohoo!!!
All in all, a truly fabulous evening!
I even got to visit with Mr. Willie, and the Foam Finger Girls (aka Laurie and Lynn), and ran into some other folks I haven't seen for a while.
Oh, what a night!

surprise for an artist

"GOOD GOD!!!!!!

Season Tickets!!!

I had no idea!

OH MY GOD!!!!!!

Thank
you
times
a
thousand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I had surprised him at work today.
I had contacted him yesterday.
'Are you ready for some baseball? What T-shirt size would you like?'
His response had been: "Yeah!!! Living large!!!"

Alrighty then. He doesn't have tickets yet.
Good!
I went to the ballpark and bought Season Tickets for each of us.
General Admission, of course. They're half the price of the Box seats.
This morning, I picked them up, making sure his nondescript brown paper bag had the large T-shirt.
Then, on my way to the school for Office Hours, I dropped by.
He was able to step out briefly and meet me, not looking in the bag, but giving me a hug of thanks before we both went our way.
About twenty minutes later, I received the above text.
Mission accomplished!
I had succeeded in at least partially repaying him for his generosity on my birthday last year.
In spirit, certainly.
"Ocean, Tumultuous" has certainly given me great pleasure, daily.
I wanted a gift that would provide that pleasure to him.
I knew he very much enjoyed the baseball games. In fact, he had purposely bought a house on the very same street where Shoeless Joe Jackson had once lived, when he played at the historic Grayson Stadium. He came to the games when he could, but he had never treated himself to Season Tickets.
I don't think he really understood how beneficial they could be for him.
You see, the tickets for any games you cannot make can be used by someone else for another game. Sure, they would only be good for a General Admission ticket, but that's still $8 saved. So, he will be able to bring a group of folks with him to any games he can attend.
A free ticket makes it very easy to get folks to come with you!
Also, he now has a Season Ticket Holder T-shirt, included with the package deal, an exclusive benefit.
Also, he has a "magic green cup", good for $1 sodas at all games. Yes, he may prefer a tall, cool one with a head of froth, but perhaps one of his guests might use the cup? Who knows?
Also, he has guaranteed access to all give-away items, whether he makes it to the game or not. THAT is a very beneficial perk to have!
Also, he has a parking pass for the preferred parking lot.
Yeah, I doubt he will ever use that, as he lives a block from the park. Still, again, he could lend it to his guests for them to use, right?
Also, at least one Sunday each month is a "Bark In The Park", so he can bring Tucker - and his playmates - to the game, too.

God bless you, Bill. You are so very generous to me and all who know you.

happy unbirthday!

Dear Tony,

[inscribed by the card publisher]
May your day be filled with the gifts of love, laughter, and friendship!!!

Cards with cakes on them - not just for birthdays anymore!
BWAH HA HA!!!

with my love!