quadruple header

Yesterday, I had a quadruple header! Yes, I did! My very own film festival!
Seriously, four movies in a row should certainly qualify as a film festival, right? Perhaps especially if those films are not even at the same cinema? I don't know if there is some hard and fast rule that disallows personal film festivals, but I don't know of any such. And so I proclaim: If four films are seen in quick succession, whether on a single day or over the course of four days, that is hereby decreed an instance of Faustina's Film Festival.
I rather like the sound of that!
So, this episode of Faustina's Film Festival began at 1:05 PM yesterday. The first movie on the agenda was "Guilt Trip", featuring - gasp! - Barbara Stresand. Really! As the mother of a grown chemist son who thinks he has created a better, greener, cleanser. This film has one of the most realistic depictions of the relationship of an only son to a single mother. Having been married to a man who falls into that category, and having had such man recommend this film to me over the holidays whilst he was in town visiting his children, I can definitely recommend it. Anyone who wants to better understand the dynamics of two such people, this film does so without getting all psychoanalytical on you. I presents its case, and moves on. If I may add: do stay to watch the credits. The airport full of mothers and sons of all ages interacting together will tug at your heart!
Then, off across town to meet two friends for a three-dimensional treat! You see, part of the allure of my first film was this: it had a start time which assured me I could reach my pre-arranged assignation on time. Really! My idea for a film festival began with my desire to try for a double- or triple-header on the southside of town, and, with that goal, I took in that first movie to try to seal the deal for me.
So, there I was at my designation, with my former bird and my schoolmarm friend, donning special glasses for "Cirque Du Soleil 3D: Worlds Away", expecting a lavish and elaborate feast for the senses - and getting every bit of that!!! Combining segments from several of their established shows in Las Vegas and Orlando, the talented dancing acrobats had woven together a tale of romance under the bigtop. There were two short lines of dialogue at the beginning of the film, then the tale unfolded via song, instrumental interludes, and dance. My!!! I do hope I will be able to sit in at that feast again!
Afterward, we all talked for a bit, but then went our separate ways. Or, rather, they went to their homes and I hung out at the nearby mall for a bit of dinner before the continuation of my film festival. After all, I had two discount passes burning a hole in my pocket, so why not see a couple of Oscar-nominated films, at a special price, while I still could?
And at 7:25 PM, I bopped across from the southside mall to view "Silver Linings Playbook", one of the sold-out-before-I-could-get-a-ticket evening offerings at this year's Savannah Film Festival. Featuring the primary actress from "Hunger Games", this film has her portray a young widow, less than a year after the death of her beloved husband. She interacts with a bipolar man, recently released from anger management rehabituation, a man trying to find the new set of rules for living his life. The film does a great job of showing the fine line between those diagnosed with a mental illness and those who have not yet, but are clearly "not quite right". The film also shows grief and guilt through the eyes of a young adult, and does so realistically.
I then had about thirty minutes to let that one settle before my 10:10 PM screening of "Flight." That had also been shown at the SFF, on the opening night of that festival. Again, it had been sold out, so I had intended to see the movie when it hit the mainstream cinemas... and it had been out for some time, yet I had not inked it into my schedule. Now, it was time. And how better to conclude my Film festival than with two from THAT film festival?
I was quite impressed. The film managed to surprise me at the end! As well as providing an accurate look at addiction, it tried to blend the view of bystanders with the story through the eyes of the addict. I highly recommend it.
In fact, I highly recommend ALL of the films I saw at Faustina's Film Festival. Whether you seek to be entertained or educated, these four will satisfy both needs.
Enjoy!

new year's day!

Today is the first day of my new AD year! Last night, I had celebrated by attending a party in a nearby town. I had never been to such a party as this; a new adventure! I had called the hostess to make sure my presence would be welcomed (an emphatic YES!) and to get directions, then logged her phone number in "just in case." And off I went!
I had resolved not to drink alcohol there, even though my hostess graciously invited me to stay overnight. This Saturday, today, would be my last day at the DBR and I wanted to spend a leisurely day at my suite by the sea. No worries! The hostess had lots of sodas and juices and waters, and I was not the only abstainer.
And such a wonderful party it was! Lots of camaraderie, lots of playing pool, lots of dancing! And we were each and everyone of us there to have a good time! Even better! I met some folks I've now "friended" and look forward to seeing them again in the near future. The hostess has these parties every third Friday of a month, so I will have ample opportunity to share the company of these partiers again. Maybe not in January, maybe so, but definitely sometime in the coming year!
What kind of party? Well, let's just say it was a nudist party with a twist.
Once upon a time, while I was at school in Florida, I was dating a nudist - and I found I had an affinity for the lifestyle. It's quite freeing to just be in your own skin. There was a private lake that his club had access to and we would be there about once a month for a day in the sun, sans clothing. Very casual, very relaxing.
Well, last night's party was definitely clothing optional. If only a warm stretch of water had been around! But, instead, there were warmed wax massages - and THAT was AMAZING. Seriously. A M A Z I N G! And the gentleman giving those massages was so very talented with his touch and the wax had a calming eucalyptus scent and the temperature was the same as for thermatherapy (about 17 degrees warmer than body temperautre). Soooooo verrryyy relaxing, and warm, and left me feeling absolutely cherished. What a fabulous way to end a year!
And now, today, I am having a last, leisurely day by the Atlantic Ocean. After getting in after 3 AM, I woke seven hours later, refreshed and still smiling from the night before. Ahhhh! Time to start finishing off the refrigerated foods, so lots of cantaloupe and blueberries and scrambled eggs to attend my coffee. Yum! Then to wash my few clothes - just one load, mix it all together! Done!
Later, I went to Ocean Walk for a movie ("This is 40"), complete with popcorn and soda, of course. That's "lunch", thank you!

Then I strolled the beach. A nice long walk on the beach and, oddly, my first since my arrival. Far too chilly to actually get in the water, but still quite warm in the afternoon sun. And a very mixed bag of folks on the beach. Some, like me, all bundles up against the chill wind. Others in wetsuits for surfing the meager waves. And some, definitely not from around here, clad in T-shirts and shorts, dipping in and out of the water.
Now, it's time to settle in for the evening, as I have an early start tomorrow. Saute the zucchini and onions and squash with some grilled chicken... add a little penne... yum! Bye for now, y'all!

it's a new day... and i feel f i n e...

Sun in the sky, you know how I feel- especially with such a view to greet me as I awake! Oh, yes, folks, THIS is the view from my bed this morn, and shall be for the next few mornings. Sah-weet! And believe me, I shall very soon be trodding that sand, dipping my toes - and perhaps more! - into those rolling, froth-bedecked, blue waves. What a fabulous day!!

But first, some fuel for those beach walks. Ah, yeah! Coffee, of course, but also some lovely cantaloupe and blueberries, for color AND for taste. Yum! Add an everything bagel and fluffy, cheese-topped, eggs, and that should keep me going for at least a few hours. And off I go, y'all! Hope you have blue skies today, too!

tuesday, tuesday in the afternoon

With a nod to Morphine, and thanks to management, I did not have to wait for Thursday for relief. By high noon, I was transferred to a new suite, a safe haven from the nightmares of the night before. I'm operating on just a few hours sleep, but I feel compelled to share what a fabulous day this has been since my transfer to the ninth floor of the DBR.

For starters, this is the new view I have. Not an ocean view room, but an oceanSIDE room. That means I'll hear the murmuring of the waves as I drift to sleep, and the singing of the sea as i wake in the morning. Heavenly music!
Also, the layout of this suite is completely different. The eleventh floor suite may have been larger, but THIS is a much more comfortable place to me. As well as not having a boogie man lurking on the balcony, the living area is a completely separate space from the bedroom. For whatever reason, that "feels" safer mentally to me. And, that is the important issue: feeling safer. Mental peace of mind.

So, after being rescued from the depths of my mind, I cruised up to Saint Augustine to visit a few of my favorite sites. The Black Knight Deli, home of freshly, and lovingly, made Polish foods, was open and manned by its owner, Vince. Yeah!!! I loaded up my huge cooler with pierogi stuffed with sauerkraut and black mushroom, pork and rice-filled golumbki (that's stuffed cabbage, to those not in the know!), and a huge coil of fresh kielbasa. YUM!!! I'm even planning to share some with my ex when he is in town next week. After all, if not for sixteen years with him, I wouldn't even be half-versed in these foods, and that would be a shame.

After getting my fill of future delights, I needed a fix from another favorite: the colorful and garlic-rich Gypsy Cab Company. Oh, yeah, baby! For lunch, I dined on grilled salmon, in some yummy, savorful sauce, getting maximum enjoyment for as long as I could. Oh, how I longed for more as the last bite entered my lips! Perhaps I'll wander that way again in a few days... but I doubt it. There are so many wonderful eateries HERE that I have not yet tried. You know?
And now that my hunger had been sated, it was time to slake my thirst... for Blanc Du Bois, that is. I don't usually go for white wines, as they tend toward sweet rather than dry, but THIS one... Ah, this one is THE BEST! The monks at San Sebastian Winery have created this divine liquid from the grapes of Florida, and I am so very hooked on it. It's been quite a few years since I quaffed this elixir and I so look forward to uncorking a bottle soon. Oh, yes. For now, the bottles of that dry, grapefruit-tinged delight will wait, as will the sassy-smooth Rosa and the aptly-named Castillo Red. I even relented to include the Vintner's Red, to create a flight of fancy for the taste buds.
Yes, Merry Christmas! I think I'm finally full of the spirit!

open letter to mr. stephen j. cloobeck

Today is my first day of my holiday in Florida and I chose to stay at Daytona Beach Regency. I've stayed here many times over the last decade and regard the site as one of my top favorites.
After this morning, my very first morning here, I think the bloom is off the rose, so to speak.
I had drawn the drapes last night when I finally went to bed, knowing that the sunlight would otherwise awaken me far too early. And so I slept well. Then, upon awaking, I slid open one of the drapes in the bedroom, allowing blue-sky brilliance to spill into the room. Nice!
Then I walked into the living room and adjusted the thermostat, then approached the drapes. I had drawn all of the drapes closed before retiring for the evening; all, that is, except the sheer across the glass door. That would allow some morning sunshine into the area, but not so much as to awaken me from my slumbers.
So, I approach the sheer, intending to open the light-blocking drapes to either side of it - and there is a man, rapelling from the roof, onto my balcony! Straight across from me, through the sheer! And I'm nude.
I didn't know if he saw me through the sheer or not. As soon as I saw him, I ducked behind the darkening drapes, but then I felt that I was trapped. I didn't know if the building was under attack, or if some nut had chosen the eleventh floor of the Daytona Beach Regency to break into, or if this was a stunt of some type.
I just knew there was a stranger on my balcony, I was nude, and I could not reach a phone without revealing myself to the stranger.
And all before coffee. Which I normally would be enjoying on the balcony. Especially on my very first morning at the beach.
I cautiously peeked around the drape and saw the man had moved to the window outside the bedroom. I still did not feel safe using the phone on the living room table, as that was by the sheer on the glass door. I scooted toward the bedroom door, making sure the man was not by the opened drapes, then grabbed my nightgown. But I could not use the phone in the bedroom, either, as the man would have seen me cross the room. Try to bear in mind that I did not know WHY the man was on my balcony; I only knew that he was there, as I could see him when I tried to approach the phone on the bedside table.
Finally, I saw him move back toward the living room windows and I darted to the phone and called the front desk.
When the front desk answered, in hushed tones I said, "There's a man on my balcony, a man who I saw rapell onto the balcony."
"He's just cleaning the windows, ma'am."
"No, he is not. I have been watching him. He rapelled onto my balcony, then stood there, looking at the beach. He did not clean the windows. And he just rapelled off my balcony."
The young woman responded, "Well, he's supposed to be up there cleaning the windows. I'll find out and call you back."
So, I drew the drape closed in the bedroom, then got back into bed. To wait.
Finally, a different young woman, Mandy, called me back.
"Yes, ma'am, the man was there to clean the windows. You should have been notified when you checked in last night."
"No, no one told me. I had no idea that I would be accosted by a strange man on my balcony my very first morning of my stay. I am very disappointed."
"Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am, but you should have been told when you checked in. Didn't Jonathan tell you? Also, we had called the rooms yesterday to let everyone know."
"No, Jonathan didn't tell me when I checked in late yesterday afternoon. And there was no notice in the elevator or in my room."
"Ma'am, I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?"
"I don't know. I am very disappointed. I always like to have my coffee on the balcony and look at the ocean on my first morning here and now that is ruined. I am very disappointed. I just may cancel the rest of my stay and leave."
"I am so sorry, ma'am. If there is anything I can do, please let me know."
"I'm not sure there is anything you could do."
Then I hung up the phone.

I still don't know what I will do. But I don't think I'll be referring any of my friends and family to Diamond Resorts International. I've been a member since they took over Sunterra, which I had enjoyed. DRI seems more interested in my money than in me.

cat o' nine tales: 5

Tale 5:
me: 1. no Princessa note today?? :(

me: 2. may i have the two tales i missed on M and T?

bfe: There was a Princessa trivia fact sent out today (it was a motivational poster) but she did not know how to make her technology interface with your technology. She might have to use dropbox.

me: Oooh! A dropbox treat 4 me!

bfe: A hint of things to come: Princessa has also been collaberating on a comic book of her adventures. They might be replacing the Princessa Fact of the Day. They will be bigger and better but will not come out on a daily basis due to the work involved.

bfe: But she does not know how that project will play out. She is still negotiating terms of using her and other kitteh's likeness and their stories. Zoe is really holding out for more kibble and exotic waters.

me: Hm, that Zoe drives a hard bargain... But let Princessa know i am willing to be a silent partner. An Angel, in fact!

bfe: Zoe is just looking out for her brand. Give her a break!

me: HER brand?! She has no dog in this fight!

bfe: You do not know this comic!

me: Not yet. Soon?

cat o' nine tales: 4

Tale 4:
me: No message from Princessa today?

bfe: Little Known Princessa Fact: between 2001 to 2004, whilst living in Virginia, Princessa the Cat donated her weekends to training seeing eye dogs.

me: Laughing out loud! She is SUCH a talented kitteh!

bfe: A cat training a dog! Wow!

me: 4 realz! i can't figure how she even GOT that job! her resume must be wild!

bfe: I agree!

cat o' nine tales: part 3

Tale 3:
bfe: Little Known Princessa Fact of the Day: did you know that Princessa the Cat has co-authored more than 20 peer-reviewed journal articles on topics such as: kindness and health issues, cat-human interactions, global perspectives on peace, and the use of natural binding agents in dry cat food? Also, Princessa the Cat always writes under a pen name so as not to sway journal referees with her fame.

me: Nice! How very considerate of her! What is her favorite nom de plume?

me: Perhaps it is Tess T. Rex?

me: Oh, wait! I saw one of her interaction treatises! She used the name Q.T. Pye, right? Yeah, I thought that was her!

bfe: Whoa! I like that second one ALOT!

love child

On Wednesday, my bfe and I watched one of the Psychotronic Film Society of Savannah's Wednesday night films at the coffee house aouth of Forsyth Park. I can't recall the name right now, but it was a campy 1970's movie about the dangers of being a rebellious teen girl around a lecherous older guy. The main character was nicknamed "Angel" by the lech, who had started off as a helper with her sports team, then a photographer, then a front man for a child pornography ring.
We both were incredulous that this had made it on the air during prime time back in the day!

Anywho, the next day, we exchanged the following silliness. Text-style, of course, as he has an aversion to actually speaking on the phone, thanks to a former B*t**.
Hey, hey, hey! I refer to her name! Sheesh.
Ahem... I digress!

bfe: Were you a love child or planned?
bfe: We should keep our friendship private between us. Don't tell your mom.
bfe: Dinner Tuesday sounds great Angel. Thank-YOU.
(The above were in quick succession as individual texts. I responded in similar manner.

me: Too late! Mama knows about you!

me: :D no, thank YOU!

me: I was planned, I think. My folks were married 2 years b4 i was born. you?

bfe: Oh, I am confident I was a mistake!

me: Nah, just unexpectedly early. i can say that because your folks are still together after all these years.

 

bfe: They were already married a year, but I came along during their junior year of college. Who decides to have a kid during their junior year?

me: people who have unprotected sex, that's who! they are called 'parents'. Yep.

And so ends another episode of "It came by T E X T", brought to you by a sandy kid with the ocean singing in her ears...

word of the day: benign

After almost two weeks of waiting, I finally got word from my doctor: benign.

Once I knew I was in the clear, I thought it best to let folks know. Heaven forbid they should find out somehow and wonder why they had NOT been informed. I would have never heard the end of it! So, here is what I wrote:
"Just to let you know...
On the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I had surgery to remove a lesion on my vaginal wall. I suspect it was a ruptured cyst, but it had been there for several months and was not healing. Surgery, requiring me to be put under, was required, as the lesion was near my left urethra and the doctor wanted to make sure he didn't run into any complications.
The surgery was at 7 AM on the 21st and I was home before 11 AM.
My elder stepsister knows, because she was on duty at the hospital on the 20th when they were making the call to let me know the time of my surgery.
My bfe took me there, brought me home, and took general care of me - and custody of my car - until the 25th. He was amazing, pretty much leaving me alone to sleep and recover and making sure I didn't try to jump back into my busy schedule too quickly... which I certainly would have done.
Yesterday afternoon, I had the post-op check-up. Benign! Benign!!
Thank God.
Now to be patient while the wound finishes its healing.
I am so relieved!
Due to the sensitive nature of the location (i.e., interior vaginal wall), I didn't really want to talk about to everybody. I had not informed my eldest brother, my middle brother, and my first niece (my ICE) until the Sunday before the surgery (the 18th). My eldest brother and his wonderful wife, as well as my first niece, brought me Thanksgiving dinners and visited briefly, again allowing me time to recover from the anesthesia and surgery.
I only took pain meds for three days and never had the intense pain and cramping the doc had said I would, nor did I have heavy bleeding. Good!
So, I did want you to know, in case you might hear about it somewhere along the way."

Here are some of the responses I received. I truly am blessed to have such caring people in my life!

my SAR bf (who had a cancerous kidney removed about two months earlier) said:
"Y'know, you didn't need to have sympathy surgery to show that you care.....
Glad to hear that everything is, as my sister put it, "unremarkable".
Isn't anesthesia fun?
On my end, my MRI came back clean this week. Next thing is a CT scan in
March to monitor the suspicious location in my lung. So it looks as if
I'm clean for now. (Time for a victory dance....oh yeah, oh yeah...)
How long is your recovery time? Are you back in the swing of things yet?"
my reply:
"Victory dance is good!!
I'm glad this is the end of the term. Mostly, I'm grading Final Exams, so I'm on my butt and off the streets... mostly!
<3
Glad to hear all you are passing all of your tests with flying colors!
:D"

My copper friend proclaimed "Am verrrryyy happy for you!! Bestest news I've heard all month!!"

My first niece said:
"I take it you got the results from the cyst?
I love your word for the day then.
I love you."

The Canadienne wrote:
"whoopie Benigh is Awesome. Been saying quite a lot of prayers, nice to know they were answered..
Ok Time to Happy Dance xo nice pic too of the canteen lol. Now working at a local bar for only 8 hrs a week, looking for a second one too. HOpe you have a really wonderful Christmas too. My youngest daughter is coming to Windsor. Love to all! xox"
my reply to her:
"Happy dance all around! <3"

my melaness (the cystologist) said:
"omg girl that's scary!!! Usually those are benign unless you've had abnormal paps. Ill pray for you to have a quick recovery! NO SEX either!!!"
my reply was
"No sex???
That's what the doc said, too.
Not even with my toys.
Damn.
For at least three more weeks.
Damn!"
She nearly fell off her chair, laughing!

The ex, when I told him, said:
"I am so thankful that everything went well and that the biopsy was negative. Thank you for letting me know.
Pending vacation approval, I'll be driving down for Christmas, traveling December 21-22 and on December 31- January 1. I'll let you know more soon."
I told him:
"Please do let me know as your plans evolve.
I'll be away, but returning on the 23rd, with no plans for further travel.
I have NO idea what is going on for Christmas Eve this year... I have heard nothing about a family get-together."
(Turns out my eldest brother was to have passed the word to me... oops!)

my stepmom told me:
"and again, Thank God it was benign…
I am sorry you had a confining Thanksgiving.
Your bfe sounds like a really good guy…
Let me know when you can spend some time together…I can come to Savannah if that would be better..
No more surgeries …"
I say, I sure hope not! This isn't the first time I've had a little alien hanging out where it doesn't belong. I do hope it will be the LAST.

My paternal aunt put it into perspective:
"Needless to say I didn't know about your problem, so glad that it was not "BAD". My middle daughter's was of course. Had a complete hysterectomy. Has finished the kemo and radiation. Her hair is comming back in. We had Thanksgiving dinner there this year. She had just had her last radiation treatment the day before but I didn't know that, she was afraid we would not come if I knew that {probably right}. I am happy that things proved good for you. We love you."
Nothing like hearing the grass is NOT greener on the other side of the fence.
"Oh, my, I feel like such a wienie. I'm glad things are improving for Beverly... I had no idea. Thank you for letting me know."

This points out two important things.
1. Stay in touch more often.
2. Realize you are not the only one.

get well soon

Tonight, I was given a postcard.
And I remembered.
I remembered you asked for my address while we were in the waiting room. I started to give it to you, then my name was called and I had to go.
I remembered that you kissed me on the top of my head when time came for you to leave my pre-surgery room.
That was a very sweet surprise.
I had sweet dreams when I went under that morning.
Thank you.

Thank you for taking such excellent care of me during a difficult time for me.
And thank you for the postcard.

wild sod

As you are aware by now, some of the in-print conversations (mini-letters, or "texts") between my bfe and myself are quite entertaining, and certainly worth saving to savor again. (And if I had a phone with limitless memory for such, then those bits would not find their way here, as I would be able to enjoy them over and over for my sole amusement. So, three cheers for outdated phone technology!) Very interesting tangents, arching up to the blue, blue sky, at times!
Here's one such, so enjoy!

me: Yo, home fry? wanna dine wit me 2nite? maybe Thai or Indian?
bfe: I think I will pass on today but maybe we can do some Thai in the near near future?
me: So i have to forego Nam Sod this evening? oh no! but, i will try to be strong...
bfe: Were you in the muck back in 'nam? The VC were everywhere... you were patrolling the ho chi Minh trail... caught in a fire fight. You have nightmares to this day.
me: Not THAT kind of sod!
me: But i must admire the tangent!
bfe: Oh, I thought your platoon was hit and 2nd Lt Vince Lancing went missing. You guys searched all over- no man left behind... but he was MIA.
bfe: Damn VC.
me: :) silly-assed Vince. he always made me smile with his crooked moons.
bfe: I recall your stories of the tete offensive. Absolutely horrifying.
bfe: Some call it a conflict, you and your buddies called it a war. We will never forget.
bfe: What's really bad ass... you were 9 years old.
me: hahaha! thats what made Vince so special! he was always trying to "make the kid smile"!
bfe: ha ha!

Ain't it glorious??? You betcha!

123456

Just a little fun item today!
I was traveling between here and there and happened to glance at my odometer... and it read "123451". Oh, how very cool! I had a picture-taking opportunity coming up for my car!
I had a few of those moments which I had hoped to capture earlier, but each slipped through my hands, as I would forget that I was waiting for THAT dial click to occur. First, I had wanted "121212", simply because of the symmetry. That would have been cool!
Then, I had wanted "122107", as it would mark an anniversary of my life AD. But that reading flashed on past before I realized it was lost. Perhaps that was a good thing? Most likely. Much better to commemorate positive dates!
At any rate, today I was truly not thinking about much of anything and had this bit of coolness fall into my lap, so to speak.
And now I have shared it with YOU!
What treats are in store with YOUR odometer?

hugs and kisses

Dear Dr. Faustina, how are you today?

I do hope this text finds you well.
I must say that I am concerned about your mental health. You have been cooped up in your place since Wednesday.
Will she go stir crazy?

Will she have cabin fever?
Images of spontaneous combustion flash in my head!
Mrs. Rogers is in Atlanta right now and will not be back until later this week.
Would you care for the return of your horseless carriage today?

Well this text is getting kinda long.
Guess I had better get it in the mail.

Hugs and kisses,
bfe

from a child's mind: oceanography

These were sent to me by my former sister-in-law's mother and I thought I would share. Honestly, if I were the teacher, they would have to get partial credit for at least making me smile!


Children Writing About the Ocean. The next time you take an oceanography course, you will be totally prepared.

1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Mike, age 7)

4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)

6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)

11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)

13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)

14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)

15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

totally blonde roots

So, yesterday, I picked up my bfe and off we set for Jacksonville. This is his birth month, so I've been trying to find some extra-special events for this fall month.
One such event concerned girls on skates. He had not been to the local rollergirl games, ever, and, somehow, we had missed all the home games this fall. But all was not lost! The girls would be winging their way down to Florida for a double-header! And, it was in November! And, it was on a Saturday that was open for both of us! Yes, folks, we had ourselves a winner!!
So, off we set, even getting a morning start for a change. The weather was good, the traffic was light on this non-holiday weekend, and we should arrive in time for a late lunch, then some walking on the waterfront before the games. Nice!
Well, that was the plan. And the plan was nice. And it was a pretty loose plan, built to allow quite a bit of flexibility. You know, in case we found an interesting museum or toy shop or an open bench to watch boats and folks.
So, there we are, traveling along, making good time. Not paying any attention to the view outside the car windows. Well, no, that's not quite true. We were both admiring the fall colors of the kudzu and the trees, the golds and oranges and reds, set against the ever-green of the pines and the blue, blue sky. All so very nice! Enjoying each other's company, catching up on chatting.
You see where this is leading, right?
We were talking, admiring the view, not paying any attention at all to road signs...
And all of a sudden, SMACK!!! We were on the outskirts of MACON!!!
Say what?!?
Exactly.
In my soon-to-be-patented, trademark style, I had become lost.
No. That's NOT it. I was not lost. I knew EXACTLY where I was, once I saw the exits and road work surrounding Macon. Oh, yes.
The problem was, we had driven better than two hours IN THE WRONG DIRECTION, neither of us noticing the signs for Statesboro or Dublin or any of the other towns along the way. Neither of us having noticed that we had not seen signs for Midway or Darien or Brunswick.
Amazing.
So, now the trick would be to make it to Jacksonville in time for the games. Because, now, we weren't just two and a half hours away. Oh, no. We were about five hours away.
Good thing our plan was so loose!
And we DID manage to make it there in time for the games. We even had about twenty minutes of free time. Woohoo!
And, amazingly, he was fine with that. Absolutely fine. No temper tantrum, no guilt trip laid on me, no animosity of any type.
Amazing, right?
And I was treated to a day in his company and he to a day in mine, even though much of the time was sitting in a car, rolling along highways.
And THAT was the whole point of the trip, right? To spend the day together and see some girls on skates?
So the trip was a rousing success, after all.
Amazing!

fall flowers

I was on my way to lunch and was stopped in my tracks by this gorgeous sight. Of course, I whipped out my cell phone and "shot" it so I could mount it on a page or two for later enjoyment. And now I share it with YOU...

full moon

I got No Exit
from full moon madness.
Every month it comes around,
stealing my gladness.

Flashing back to a time of jellyfish lightnin'
Watching the waves roll and baskin' in moon shine.

A missed kiss?
Hell yeah!
And then I missed another.
And now I have no recourse
but to treat him like a brother.

It's making me crazy to vacillate this way.
And every month the full moon leaves me sadly grey.

Chicken soup for breakfast
brings no solace to my soul.
The piece of my heart given away
has left a lunar hole
that fills with new shared memories in between the times
of full moon madness
and a night sky that shines.

strange pussy

Here's another odd little conversation between me and the bfe. This was a day after going out to dance with Rocks near the beach.

me: Last night, i danced with the devil, played with strange pussy, and had at least eight partners! And half were women!
me: i gotta wear my autumn leaves dress more often! ;)
me: How was *your* evening?

bfe: Dudette, an evening drinking PBR with Y* and his girl...doesn't sound anything like yours. I suspect everything you say to be true...but not exactly.

me: True dat!

bfe: ;)

me: K* (the librarian) was wearing devil horns and said "my friend, you are dancing with the devil" - and i responded, "and i was just playing with strange pussy"...
me: ...as i had a lovely orange tabby keep me occupied during the band's break. Strange pussy!

bfe: I thought that maybe it was someone dressed up in a cat outfit!
bfe: A real cat!
bfe: Even better!

me: As 4 the partners - i was asked to dance a LOT!! I did dance solo a bit, too.

bfe: (sends pic of Contessa) Buddy, I'm the only cat you need. But I understand...

me: You tell Contessa she has naught to fear. i DO belong to HER, and her alone!

bfe: That would make her very happy. But she is not a jealous cat. For the most part.

me: Srsly! i had SUCH a lovely time!

bfe: You were on fire!

me: i dreamt of her the other night... tell her that.

bfe: Me-OW!

fun for your ears

More glorious puns, just in time for Halloween treats!


To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married they fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

home alone

So, yesterday, I arrived at my bff's house before she did. I contacted my bfe to let him know I had arrived safely and to chat (well, text, if you must know) while I waited.
The following is our conversation.

me: I'm here! And nuvi even showed me a new way to go. I think it may have been a little faster, even!
bfe: good to know!
me: She's still at work, so right now I'm home alone.
bfe: I've never seen Home Alone but I heard that shit gets crazy.
me: Total mayhem! hilarious! like 3 stooges (though there are only 2).
bfe: Just Larry and Curly... not the great mind of Moe.
me: UNLESS you consider the kid as Moe, wreaking havoc on the others!
bfe: A Moe shooting heroin later in life!
me: No, he would have been too mellow for all that if he was ON smack.
bfe: True, the her-won is supposed to make one mellow.

Man, I so enjoy these wacky chats!

what if

"I don't believe in hypothetical situations. It's like lying to your brain."
So spoke a literal-minded character on "30 Rock".
Sometimes I catch myself weaving story lines I know to be untrue, tales to make my life seem more fulfilled, more exciting, more...worth living.
Sometimes I even catch myself believing the fabrications more so than the reality.
And sometimes the threads woven to tether me to this world begin to unravel and I find myself unwilling to remain.
I had one of those moments a few weeks ago after "Project Shiphunt". The film left me desperately missing my mother.
I found myself in a restaurant downtown, unable to stop crying, wishing myself anywhere but on this blue-green orb.
The waitstaff let me be and didn't ask questions beyond general needs.
More tea?
Is the food okay?
Can I get you anything else?
And I sobbed and ate a delicious meal and watched the fish and ignored the chatterings of those sitting behind me, ignored others who entered and left as I sat.
And I sobbed, quietly, wiping saltwater stains onto my shirtsleeves.
By the time I was to return to the Ocean Film Festival, my tears were fairly spent. And the next film helped to strengthen my tether once more, at least for the night.

charles bukowski

The wave lent me this book of poetry titled "The Continual Condition". By and large, it's fairly depressing stuff. I can certainly picture the jaded old man who wrote it.
Here are a few pieces which caught my mind's eye.

"my art form" reminds me, in a melancholy way, of my friend who lent the book to me. Like a jockey who must occasionally win to keep his job, the writer feels he is having to prove himself by occasionally doing something well enough to remain a writer, rather than "a whore who can't score." Instead, the writer had dreamt of becoming "the happy idiot able to get food easily and easy sympathy, a planned confusion of not too much love or effort." The writer ends with the postulate that, to some, he has achieved that dream through his choice of his life's work.
Definitely sad to me.

"listening to the radio at 1:35 a.m." is another sad piece that appealed to me. In it, the writer seems to be wishing he were at a beach house, listening to the waves, instead of fighting for his life "within these 4 walls 20 miles inland". But with the tongue of the cynic, of the beach house scene he painted he says "you can feel crappy there too-". Sadly, I know that to be true.
Definitely sad to me.

But he did have one piece I regard as hopeful.
"I saw a tramp last night" tells of an old cur going "down nobody's alley being nobody's dog... moving through it all, brave as any army." I do believe I can relate to that old dog, feeling as I sometimes do that I belong to no one, alone in the world, but moving along still.
Melancholy, yes. But also hopeful.

these dreams...

... And this one wasn't even mine.
My First Niece sent me the following texts at 5:55 this morning.

"I just awoke from a strange dream.
About you and me and Grammy.
You & I went to a movie and we fell asleep outside of a downtown bar afterwards.
Grammy called & woke me up. (the time in my dream was only off by 6 minutes.)
She said I needed to come get her from the bar.
It was the same one we were outside of.
You went in to get her while I put my shoes on.
We all sat down at one of the tables to talk.
Then I woke up."

When I woke up and saw her message, I responded with a question about the name of the bar.

"I don't know, I never saw the name of it.
It was on the corner of Whitaker.
And the road was cobblestone.
I don't think that corner is real."

Instantly, a bar I have been in several times came to mind and I asked whether she thought it might be the one, even though it was not on THAT street.
But it DOES have little tables outside.
And it IS on a cobblestone street, but on Drayton.

"What I remember of the dream the location Grammy gave was not correct based on the street signs.
I can't remember what they said though.
There was a lazy boy out front. LOL."

A guy lolling around, I asked.

"No, LOL! The piece of furniture."

And I thought to myself: what an odd way to start my day.

a coke and a smile

I have no idea who the wag was that set up the smile, but when I saw this, I had to record it. Serendipidity! I don't know if the old ad was deliberately referenced or if the two items found each other in the flotsam of the world, but it's rather nice, isn't it?
Nice, indeed.
Good times!

ol' blue eyes

There's a book out there in which Frank Sinatra has a quote about friendship. I know of this book because the wave purchased it during the 2012 Midwestern-Canada Adventure and briefly showed it to me as he placed his sack of books in the trunk. He said the quote made him think of me and him and our friendship. Nice, right?
You betcha.
So, he sends me the quote, by text message, natch.
Ol' Blue Eyes was lobbed a query about how to know if someone was a friend for life. His response? "You bypass the acquaintance stage immediately. Either your currents are different and the chemistry isn't there or else you're hooked and you're a friend immediately - and, in most cases, permanently."
Wow. Currents? Chemistry? Hooked?
How incredible that someone out there, someone who was a quotable celebrity, would utter those particular words, words which hold some special sway for a chick like me.
How very incredible that when my dear friend read those words, I was brought to mind.
I am... fortunate? blessed? overwhelmed?
Yes.
And relieved to know that piece of my heart is safe.

no, i think it was a ball...and the ump says?

My car has officially earned its second strike. Last Saturday was the first strike.

Oh, no. Really? It broke down again?

You betcha. And with a real lack of imagination, it did so the same way it had before: gear shift knob just rattling around loose, not even trying to find a gear. Very aggravating.

You were out and about?

Well, no. Fortunately, I was at home. I had moved the car earlier in the driveway when I was mowing the front yard and the car had not even hinted that it had a problem. No. It waited until I was showered and ready to go... then it wouldn't. I was to meet the best-hugger friend at an art reception and had to let him know he would need a different ride home.

How terrible!

Not really. I mean, it could have been raining buckets. And he could have ended up stranded, but didn't.
And when I called my first niece for assistance, she could have been out and about.
Fortunately, she was not.

What about the tow truck?

Well, fortunately, my road assistance picked up the tab on that. I was here, so i knew where to have the car taken, so that was fortunate, too.

Excellent!

Really, it was. My first niece and her family picked me up and we went traipsing off to dine on Italian fare and had a nice meal together.
Then I came home and the librarian fetched me and we went dancing with Magic Rocks, accompanied by a cooling breeze and night view from the roof of the purple and red palms.

Ohhhh-kayyyy! That sounds like fun!

It really was! I had feared I wouldn't be able to get any dancing in, with my car having failed me again. My night's fun was rescued!

Very good. And your car?

Well, knowing the librarian had other plans today, as did my first niece, I decided to take a cue from the wave and researched bus routes. Fortunately, the 31 bus stop is just a few minutes from my front door and it would take me almost to the car shop. Nice! Even better, the trip would only take about 35 minutes, which is pretty incredible, considering how many stops are along the way.
Things were going pretty good. I only waited about ten minutes for the bus. The driver understood that it had been awhile since I rode and was patient with me, reassuring me that this bus would, indeed, take me close to my destination.
So, off we go! And the bus is making good time, too.
And I mistakenly get off about two stops early along my route, but that's only about a quarter-mile off, so I start walking.
And the rains come! Torrential downpour, with gusting winds and thunder and lightning!

Oh my God! Did you have an umbrella???

Seriously, that would NOT have helped! I managed to run up under the eaves of a nearby business and that was helpful for a bit, until the wind started blowing the rain nearly perpendicular. I noticed the side of the building looked a bit more protective, so I ran over there... and was out of the path of the downpour. Whew!
Then it was a matter of waiting it out... and waiting... and waiting. Even after the opaque downpour had slowed to a steady soft rain, it was still enough water falling that I would have been totally soaked long before I reached the car repair shop. Which would be closing in less than an hour.

So... the rain finally stopped?

No, I didn't have to wait that long. When I could tell that the worst of the storm had passed, I ventured under the front overhang again, making me visible to all driving by. So, I'm watching the raindrops hitting the parking lot puddles, watching for a sign that it was safe to hit the street again, and the street came to me!

That sounds like a cute trick.

No, really, I'm just standing there, fairly damp from earlier, and this little, faded red car pulls in and a window lowers partially, and I hear the words "do you need a ride?"

Seriously!? What the hey!

Yeah, right? But there was actually a little concern in the voice. So I looked at the young man driving and told him I was waiting for the rain to stop so I could retrieve my car. And he said he could take me there. So, I made a quick decision and let him do so.
Yeah, I know. You NEVER get into the car of a stranger. N E V E R. But I did.
Fortunately, he was a good guy. He knew the woman who owned the business I was sheltered by and he had been concerned for her sake when he saw me there.
Then he saw my bedraggled self and my butterfly bag and decided to offer help.
Seriously. I think it was my Italian butterfly bag that tipped the scale in my favor, in his eyes.
Maybe.

You must be out of your mind. You got into a stranger's car? And no one knew where you were??? You simply do NOT do that!

But I did. And fortunately, all ended well or I would not be writing this now. Right?
He wasn't a big, burly guy, so I feel sure I could have muscled my way around him. And he was alone in the car, so I wasn't concerned about getting overpowered.
He was a nice young man on his way home from work. And I think he was at least as nervous as I was when I accepted his offer and climbed into the car.
Fortunately, he took me straight to the car repair shop, which wasn't far at all, dropping me off right at the door. Very nice!
Of course, I thanked him several times.
How very fortunate I was that he came along...

How very fortunate you were that he wasn't dangerous...

Yes, yes, yes. I know. And fortunately, the guy at the shop was very understanding of my being put out with them earlier. He had the two cables there waiting for me, explaining what was wrong with them and reiterating what I had already found out: only one of the cables and the bushing had been replaced before.
I guess sometimes we hear what we want to hear. And I had not known of there being twin cables leading from my console to the transmission.
But now I do.
So I waited about fifteen minutes for the rain to slow, then I took my cables and went home. In the rain. Waiting for the car to try to strand me again. Hoping it would not.

And...?

And I arrived home just fine. As did the car.
And I put on dry clothes and tried to decide what to do with my evening. I let my first niece and the karate kid and the wave and the librarian know that I was home. Of course, I didn't tell them about my taking a ride with a stranger.
I didn't want them to fuss at me about it.
I can be a bit too trusting at times, I know.

You think?

Yes. I had thought the librarian and I would go to a new play tonight, but she had an out-of-town friend show up unexpectedly and so those plans changed. Still, I thought I would still go to the play, until my Quaker friend called. He was concerned about my car situation and was a bit upset that I had not called him for a ride! So, I'll do better about that next time...Maybe. You know how stubbornly self-reliant I can be sometimes, right?

SOME times? You do mean, MOST of the time, right?

(Grin.) Maybe. Anywho, he invited me to come to the concert of the cigarbox guitar and cigarbox bass and cigarbox ukelele, so I agreed to go.
What a great idea!
I had expected my copper friend to be there, but she ended up changing her plans.
I did see my baseball foodie friend there and met some of his buddies.
And I did dance! By myself at first, but then joined by a fellow named Jay, who was pretty good on that concrete floor. Woohoo!
And to think, I had not planned to be there at all.
How fortunate that I was!
And afterward, I had dinner with my Quaker friend and his neighbor and she insisted on paying. What a treat!
And now, I am home, and gratefull to be in for the evening.
My librarian asked if I wanted to go out with her and her group tonight, but I need a night off, I think.
Or, if not off, at least early.
G'night, all. And sweet dreams.

no Professor Doom gonna stand in my way

My car broke down late last Saturday night, while returning from a long trip in the midwest.
Fortunately, it was not on the highway, but on an acess road, surrounded by lights and businesses.
Fortunately, I was with a friend who kept a good attitude and kept trying to reassure me and lighten my concern.
Fortunately, I have road assistance with my car insurance, so I didn't have to worry about the expense of getting the car towed.
Fortunately, the road assistance people recommended a mechanic who would be open on a Sunday to assess the problem.
Fortunately, I was on the outskirts of a town where I had family.
Fortunatle, my nephew was home and able to take in me and my friend and his furry companions, late on a Saturday night.
Fortunately, we found a rental agency that was open the next day and had cars available.
Fortunately, my nephew was able to take us there and patiently wait for us, keeping the cats safe in his truck.
Fortunately, my friend did an amazing thing: he took on the expense of renting the car.
Fortunately, we made it back here with no further difficulties.
Fortunately, he allowed me to keep the car for the next day, so I could easily get to a mandatory workshop.
Fortunately, he traveled with me the next afternoon to retrieve my car, even though it meant a late night on a weeknight.
Fortunately, he did it all without ever once complaining.
Not once.

Incredible.

mile marker!

So, there I was, driving through yet another cornfield, this one just barely south of Sandusky, Ohio. But was I watching the corn as it greened in the sun and rustled past my car? Oh, no! I was watching my odometer.

I was intent on catching the change in the dial as it flipped from ...999 to ...000. And I did! Of course, it may not have been particularly sensible to try to take a picture whilst cruising along!

luna pier

A new beach for me! This little town of less than 2000 inhabitants was incorporated in 1963 and is a beachside destination for folks in Detroit and Toledo. Me? I saw the name of the town as I was traveling south and decided to visit.
How could I resist? The name lured me in, tempting my imagination, snagging my interest. Caught by my curiosity, I allowed myself to be reeled in, offering no resistance at all. And I landed on a shore arching contrapposto to its crescent of pier, linked only by a red beacon pointing skyward.
The upcoming full moon is part of the reason I ventured there. All summer, full moons have encouraged me to walk toward craziness. There's a quote somewhere about actions not taken being those regretted most and the moon reminds me that I missed an opportunity for a kiss not taken.
Perhaps, indeed, no kiss was intimated that evening three months ago. Perhaps I was besot with the moonlight and jellyfish lightning and merely imagined the taste of kisses in the air.
Perhaps.
I do know the thought of missed kisses has brought many a bout of insomnia and cast a restlessness on my spirit. And every month, as the moon waxes full again, I lose myself to crazed longings.
How ridiculous.
No more!
Besides, I've already pledged big kisses and not yet delivered.
And I am a woman of my word.

No, it's Iowa.

As you may recall, I wrote earlier this month about wanting - no, NEEDING - to go to The Field of Dreams. I had hoped for a thin space there where the present and past might intersect. And so they did, but not as I had expected.
Then again, this trip has been all about plans not going as expected. I think my blonde roots still exist deep in my scalp, even though I appear to be a brunette. But that's not for here and now.
No. This is all about The Field of Dreams and what I found there and did there and saw there.
So, let's make the last first, shall we? I saw corn, walls of corn, acres and acres of corn, standing taller than me, in the morning sun and the high noon sun and the sun setting toward the Pacific. I saw freshly mowed green, green, grass, lush beneath my feet, checkerboarding the outfield. I saw a baseball diamond shimmering in the afternoon sun, under a blue, blue sky and angelic puffs of clouds.
I smelled ripe corn and aging silk melding together with the warmed grass and the tang of red clay.
What did I do?
I walked out to centerfield, the heart of the outfield, and kept walking straight up to that surrounding wall of corn. And I stood in the arms of the cornstalks, breathing in their aroma, basking with them in the warmth of the afternoon sun. After driving for hours through the lifeblood of the midwest, it was good to finally be this close to the real thing.
I listened to the rustling of the corn in the light breeze, listening for something else, a sign of other life stirring. Just me and the breeze and the golden ears.
I came back infield, cutting over the first base line toward the bleachers. One of my goals had been to sit in those bleachers, drinking in the sight of the diamond and the afternoon sky and the closeness of space and time.

And so I did sit in the bleachers, two rows from the top, with the house behind me. And I relished the contrast between the red clay of the infield and the lush green of the outfield, with the blue sky beaming above all. And I did see an angel, out in left field, dancing across the sky, trailed by a flock of fluff. Very nice!
Then I climbed down from my perch, heading toward home plate. A quick - no, make that leisurely, please! - stroll around the bases, making sure to JUMP onto each bag as I neared it. First! Second! Third! And safely back to home!
Sweet. And quite satisfying.
I signed the vistor's log, made a donation, and decided to head for the Windy City, to ease my travel time to the Motor City.
But I must have turned in the opposite direction and ended up not quite where I had intended, but where I needed to be.

The tiny town before me was bedecked with the Stars and Stripes. In front of every business and house on the main street. In front of every establishment and residence on the side streets. American flags fluttering before and behind, to the right and to the left. What a grand sight!
And I realized that THIS was where I was meant to be, what I was meant to see here in Iowa. I know my stepdad was thrilled.
Miss you, Frank.

are you ready for this?!

Last night was fabulous!!! The Odd Lot improv group was celebrating the birthday of one of their own... and they had special skits JUST for him. Elvis was there, talking about his return to Earth from his erstwhile home on Venus, the planet of Love. (Hahaha! See? I did get it!) So was Christopher Walken and Don Knotts, temporarily inhabiting the same body and fighting over it, too. Oh, and let's not forget the Cowardly Lion, part of the prison detail to pick the poppies in Oz! Rawr! A crowd of folks was there in the audience, to cheer on the mayhem and to help the celebration. I am SO blessed to have been there!
My favorite skit, though it was certainly a hard choice, was "Soucy Kills!". Ordinarily, it would have simply been called "Last Lines, the game in which everyone dies", but this time, the birthday boy was designated the slayer of all. And what was he slaying? A list of horrible, horrifying creatures, that's what!
First up was the Chupacabra, cast to type, which made it even funnier. The creature met its match, venturing within reach and having its spine ripped out through its back and then thrust into its heart. Ahhhhhh! With its dying breath, it uttered the audience-generated words on the slip of paper - but spoke in Spanish! What a stroke of genius!
Next up was Cthulhu, denizen of the darkest ocean depths, burbling his threats at the Soucy. Quick as a flash, the Soucy hurls a bowl of batter at the squidlike monster and then dunks him into boiling oil! Hahaha! And Cthulhu utters his final words in - what else? - Cthulhuese, as he collapses to the floor.
The Queen of King Scorpions then sashays onto the stage, clashing its fierce claws and thrashing its terrible tail. No, seriously, I saw it! The Soucy approaches, and, whilst the insect threatens to sting, he places his finger on the center of its thorax. Oh, no, the deadly poisonous Soucy finger! The scorpion goes through incredible death throes, before succumbing, exclaiming all the while, "No! No! No! No! No! No!"
Thomas the kitten then meanders onto the death floor, finding a spotlight in which to lick his paw and look cute. Then the Soucy is on him! Oh, the poor kitten is cuddled to death! And, in true kitteh-speak, his last utterance is a single, pitiful "meow". Nicely done!
So, for those keeping score, we have four fierce creatures down, with only once having an English last line. Awesome!!!
Little miss Shirley Temple skips forward, singing about good ships and lollipops. The Soucy is not amused. He makes short shrift of her and her song, and she joins the bodies littering the floor.
Now it's time for the Dwarf, arch nemesis of the Soucy since childhood. This one is hatless and approaches fearlessly, on its stubby legs, but draws too near. Rip! Out goes its heart and the Dwarf leaps from the shock, before gravity pulls him to its bosom. Hah! Take that! One dwarf down, one Soucy still standing!
And the Dragon decides to take him on! Plodding across the stage, taking care to avoid the human hurdles at its feet, it breathes fire in the Soucy's direction. Once, twice, then the Soucy blocks its mouth, forcing the fire to go scorching back into the body of the beast, evoking a smell of barbequed flesh. (Yes, I did smell it!) Game over, the Soucy victorious against all! Woohoo!
I wish I could recall the last lines of the last three fierce creatures, but I was too tickled to commit them to memory. Still, know ye that they were quite appropriate for the occasion, made remarkable by the fact that they were randomly drawn from the hat filled with lines from the audience. GREAT fun!

candygram!

And when you open the door, it's a shark! Remember those SNL skits with Chevy Chase as the Land Shark? They aired in the mid-1970's after "Jaws" made the ocean a scary place to stick a toe in.
Well this post is not about that. Nope. This deals strictly with actual candy, lovely bits of dark chocolate, this time with raspberry swirls, wrapped in shiny foil with a hidden message. I think of them as fortune chocolates! I had stayed away from them for some time, but I'm again indulging in their rich delight... yum!
So, here are the fortunes received the past few weeks.

Smiling is free. (It also releases endorphins and elevates your mood. try it right now. I'll wait.)

Happiness looks great on you. (See above.)

You have a great laugh! (Definitely a favorite and I've had this fortune several times.)

Be a little naughty with your nice. (But don't let Santa know!)

Be playful with your love. (A sense of humor is so very important and doesn't get the airplay of external appearances.)

Live well, laugh often, and love much. ("L" words are liberating!)

You are exactly where you are supposed to be. (Even if you're lost... which I am so very often.)

Tempt your sense of exploration. (See above.)

You're delicious. (Even though I'm not covered in chocolate?)

Take this moment. Enjoy it. (Meaning, of course, savor that chocolate and let it melt eversoslowly in your mouth. Yum...)

Relaxation by chocolate. (See above.)

one thousand times

Today, a favorite song by Wolfgang Press is on my mind. I do so love the lyrics, whther sung by them or Sir Tom Jones. 'Tis a nice song just before bedtime, you know? So, with no further ado, here it is.

A Girl Like You

You go to sleep
I want to sail in your head
And when you speak
you know you got to make sense
You want to say that it's me you know best
I said a girl like you
she was born to be blessed

My hands are yours
you can take them from me
And take my mouth
I - I have nothing to say
You want to fly to some other place
I said a girl like you
she was born to be kissed

Born to be kissed
one thousand times
and your mother too
one thousand times

You wanna say it
you say you long to be free
but when you fall
you want to fall back to me
You want to fly and that's no disgrace
I said a girl like you
she was born to be blessed

My hands are yours
cause I don't know how to pray
and take my mouth
I - I have nothing to say
And lift my heart to a higher place
to a girl like you
who was born to be kissed

Born to be kissed
one thousand times
and your sister too
one thousand times

one thousand times
and your mother too
one thousand times
your sister too
one thousand times
a girl like you
one thousand times
one thousand times
here comes the sun
here comes the sun

* * * * *

Quite lovely... I'm going to watch the video again now.
Later!

off key

Last night, I did karaoke at a friend's housewarming party. I sang a tune that has become part of my repertoire at the American Legion, as it is always greeted with enthusiasm by the predominantly country music crowd. I'm known as the "Rock Star" by the KJ there, and I suspect the others regard me as such also.
AnyWHO, others were singing at my chef friend's gathering, and I was even singing along on "Seven Bridges Road". So, as others were requesting that the host pull up songs for them to sing, I did, too. You know, being part of the crowd, participating, right? I had wanted to share a fun song with them, so I requested "Squeeze Box", a song right in keeping with the double entendre tunes of the evening... and, oddly, no one but the host seemed to know it. So they didn't get it. And justthatfast, I realized: I was no longer part of this group. I had thought I was, but I was definitely mistaken. I might still have a link to the host, and maybe to Cassadi's mom, but that was it.
Once upon a time, I was seeing these folks once a week, sometimes more often. Then a friend died and we still tried to hang together, but it wasn't the same. The linchpin which had held me to this group had fallen away, and, as will happen, I drifted. The others were firmly linked and held fast.
Sure, in the three years since our friend's death, I've invited them to events in my new circles and I have occasionally traveled in their circles and been there to share some special events. The little girl's birthdays. A few dinners with the girl's mom. The chef's graduation. The odd karaoke night out at a local corral.
I'm not sure how I ended up on the chef's guest list for tonight. I'm not sure how I even ended up going. No, wait, I take that back. I went because I hadn't seen him since his graduation and I am only too aware of how quickly someone can leave this world for another too far distant.
I did not want this opportunity to be lost.
So I went, bearing gifts to please the palate and the ear: panforte margherita from Italy and tales of creating Italian cuisine for a lunch and a dinner in Siena. I also brought ajvar, a versatile roasted pepper concoction from a kickstarter chef.
I'll be curious to see what he fashions using that! Maybe I'll even merit a taste of any new creation... maybe?
Earlier, I had briefly attended the Bastille Day party of some other friends. I had lost track of them - rather, they had lost track of me - since the divorce. We had all met through the trivia evenings my ex had hosted fifteen years ago at Fink's Deli, an eatery long gone from Liberty and replaced by a pizza chain. So, maybe you could say they were more his friends than mine for the first year or so, but surely not any later than that.
After our marriage ended, I still was part of the group. Birthday parties and baptisms for the children. Pool parties of all types, whether saltwater or the regular every-other-Tuesday session with cue sticks and colorful balls. Barbeques and holiday gatherings.
Then, that was over. A misunderstanding about my presence at the Tuesday pool nights, "drinking beer with other women's husbands", led to a horrific rift. Apparently, they forgot who I was and thought I had become someone else. Not the guys. They knew I was the same person I had ever been, just "one of the boys", so to speak. But one of their wives forgot and false accusations were made. In an attempt to salvage some shred of a relationship with this woman and her family, I allowed myself to be banished from billiards. And, even though some made an effort to continue a friendship with me, all of the children played together and I, of course, had no children to be invited to parties.
Last year, that started to change a little. A birthday party for the son at a state park. News of the daughter's winning essay on being fearless. An invite to the post-production play for Operation Rescue at the church. And you better believe I went every time I was invited.
The Bastille Day party invite went out Friday evening and I didn't read it until yester morn... but I worked it into my schedule for the day. You better believe that! This had been one of the summer events I had loved, hanging out with the friends and their growing children, playing in the pool and the yard, waiting for the burgers and dogs to come off the grill. Oh, yes!
I was greeted as if I had never left their company. How wonderful! The dog even seemed to remember who I was, though I am sure it has been at least two years since I was there. The world traveler shared her pictures of Denmark, as well as the tales and food she had brought back. She also had frozen whiskey sours for all - very nice. I wish I could have stayed longer, but I already had the chef's party on my agenda.
Still, life is looking brighter for the renewal of those friendships. I will hope for constructing a new harmony with the world traveler and her family. I'm not sure whether the others may lend their voices; perhaps so.
After leaving the chef's condo, I felt the urge to go somewhere, somewhere... but where? The beach? The marshmallow roasting? The new square over the parking garage? I decided on karaoke, as I was sure I would know at least one person there: the zombie friend. He's the KJ at the "Best Karaoke" joint in town, as well as being a longtime friend. So, off I went, planning to maybe do a few tunes and find my voice.
But I never did sing. Rather, I never did sing on the stage. I had a pocket full of songs I like, I had others on my phone, but I found myself preferring to enjoy the mini-concerts of others. One I sang along with a couple of fellows nearby, all of us belting out "Build Me Up, Buttercup" and hamming it up. For some other tunes, I sang along and noted them for the Rock Star audience. Amazingly, some songs I didn't even know, like "Ol' Red". Now, that's a country song I might do one day!
All in all, a nice night in the company of zombie and others.
Maybe I'll go again tonight and actually sing... Hopefully, in key.

baseball puns

Okay, you say you didn't get enough yesterday??? Good for you! You're hairier than I thought you were!
Well, here are a few you have never seen. N e v e r.
Yeah, that's quite an assertion, eh?
Making ME perhaps a bit hairier than YOU had guessed.
Hah!

These are baseball-oriented and devised whilst sitting in the stands, doing one of my favorite summertime activities: watching my boys of summer and soaking up the ambiance - and comments - of those around me. You never know where inspiration may strike!
:-)

So, here are my own little offerings to the world of wordplay.

Shagging flies, fun and games until you get caught!

on fireworks night:
Move that truck or it will be towed! Ribbit ribbit!

runner on second and homerun hitter at bat:
He could tie us up! Nah, he isn't really my type.

Puns, glorious puns! To the brain so delicious!

Yeah, it's best if you sing the above to the tune for the cheese commercial? Don't know that one? You can check it out here!
All done? Great! back to where I was.

A former professor of mine, of the British persuasion, recently sent these to me and I thought I would share them here, for all and sundry, but especially for the eldest of my three younger brothers. Today is his birthday - he's either a deck of cards or weeks in a year, your pick - and telling jokes is his thang.
If you are NOT a fan of puns, you may want to run off elsewhere.
Seriously.
You have been warned.
But for the rest of us, HERE THEY ARE!!!

I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren't funny, period .

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

breathe, just breathe

One of the best things about vacations is this: you breathe again.
I know, it sounds absurd, right? You breathe all the time, without even thinking about, with the pace of your breaths linked to your gender and activity level and various other things.
But on a true vacation, one that has a little staying power to it or a relaxing vibe, you wake up one morning and realize: you're breathing.
Very nice feeling.

Um... you've been somewhere? I missed it??

No, I've been here, but the vacation came to me. So to speak.

Okay, the bait is out there, i'll bite. Whatever are you talking about?

Okay, remember i was talking about five-year anniversaries of bad things?

(Silent nod and slow exhale.)

Well, yesterday was such a day. I had actually gotten the date one day off earlier, but the seventh of July of 2007 was the day of betrayal and the last day of my ex in the house. As you know, i had been planning a pity party, to bitch and moan and be generally unsociable. Oh, but with some poor sod to serve as designated driver. Or some such. Pity party, mega scale. But i didn't get to do that.
And at first i was pretty aggravated about it.
But it all worked out for the best.
You see, my bff came down for the weekend and stayed with me. As did her husband. And her lovely daughter, my punk rock goth girl.

Oh, how wonderful! She always perks you up, doesn't she?

Yes, she does. She certainly does. On this trip, she had come with some dread of her own: her 'rents wanted to look at houses, as they will be moving in here in a bout a year. Meaning, of course, that she would be moving here in about a year. And going to a new high school. And all that jazz.

Well, you know, you go where the job is, right? Her dad has a new job and it's here, so the family has to be move here, too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You weren't uprooted in your teen years, so you really don't know. But i digress.
Your fault.

Again?

You bet! So, let me set the scene: on Friday, i wake up and am feeling pissy because i have company coming to my pity party. I eventually take some of that hostility out on the yard, getting most of the front lawn cut before my battery-powered mower runs out of juice. (I think the mohawk strip perpendicular to my sliver of moon looks cool, so i may start doing that intentionally.) Some of my new girlfriends have invited me to an evening meet-up down by the river, so i go, all the while knowing my bff and family are on their way to town. Remember, i was feeling pissy.

So you've said.

Okay. (Deep breath.) Well, my new girlfriends don't know any in-depth on me. Which means they don't know i have a pity party planned. And you know what happened? The pity party got circumvented right out of existence, at least for that evening. I had a margarita and shared a bucket of boiled shrimp and danced and sang and talked. Then i shared s'mores and danced and sang and talked. That evening, i allowed myself to take a little vacation from the demons in my head. And the reason i could is simple: no one there knew of them, so i didn't have to acknowledge those serpents, either.
By the time my company arrived, the hour was late, i beat them home, and life was doing well. Not great, but manageable.
The next morning, off we go to breakfast, to an old haunt i once visited often. This time, i had something completely different for breakfast and that was good. All seems to be going okay. Then we leave and the girl is glum. Why? The 'rents are driving around and around, looking at houses for rent, houses for sale, houses for the big move here. Here, where the girl will be leaving all her friends.
So i suggest we drive by the arts high school, the high school she'll most likely attend. And we do. And as we drive along the canopied road, with the old brick houses and white-columned porches, she brightens some. As do i.

Good. That's good! The end of the pity party... right?

Not quite. Remember, i had been "looking forward" to my event for a couple of weeks, if "looking forward" can be used here. Actually, i had been in deep dread of it, but held it in the same regard as a mammogram or pap smear: a necessary bit of messiness to be dealt with and done for the greater good. You know? Some warped rite of passage from where i was five years ago to the time now, on my way to the future.
So, we finish Saturday, the day of the damned, doing sunshine events. Down to the river for First Saturday, eyeballing the wares for sale. Ducking into a local joint for drinks (another margarita) and brief shade. Down to the beach for wave-crashing and shell hunting. Dinner at the place where the "elite eat in their bare feet." And the day was done for my guests, but I did a quick change and was out the door for a margarita and karaoke.
"Ain't No Sunshine"
"Just My Imagination"
"I Dig Rock and Roll Music"

Those don't sound like downbeat songs. I would have expected stuff like "Wake Up Call" and "Something In The Air Tonight" and "Before He Cheats." "Every Breath You Take." That type of song, all songs you've done before.

You know, I had, earlier in the week, planned to sing those very songs. But I decided on - the Wednesday? the Thursday? - to do more upbeat songs instead, try to jumpstart my glass-half-full way of thinking. And it really did help. So did talking to Elvis, one of the regulars there. And by the time i returned home, life was better, but not yet normal.
I wakened at five to the realization that i was going to be out of toilet paper and had four people in my house. Off to get it, then back, and back to bed for an hour or two. I sent my bff and her family off to the morning beach and stayed home to mope, getting it out of my system enough to have lunch with them and my first niece at a barbeque joint.
Then my niece went back home and they went to visit his dad. I went to enjoy a quiet time at the stadium with some regulars and my boys of summer. That was relaxing, being outside but in the shade, feeling the breeze kicked up by the huge propellers overhead, drinking in the sounds of summer.
No need to go home afterward, either. A ghost tour had been arranged to entertain and inform the three from northwest of Atlanta. I headed downtown to catch a missed wave for talk and dinner. And there i was, kvetching about five year marks of odious occasions and ill-timed visitors and whatever else that came out of my mouth. And he said to me, you would have rather had the pity party?

Seriously? Those exact words?

No, i paraphrased, but that was the essence of what he said. And i realized how very selfish i had been, to have thought that rolling around in mope would be preferable to spending that time in the company of those who know and love me. And how those particular people knew best how to handle my insanity, when to stay close, when to back off... but not too far. Because the bff not only knows where the bodies are buried, but helped me put them there.
Thanks, gfriend.