part of the sadness of the world, with my niece

I was up early this morning.
My first niece was going to court to finalize the divorce from her husband.
Her new beau had offered to go with her, but she had wisely declined.
I went in the stead of her mom, who had to work.

What an antiseptic way to end a once-loving relationship.
She and he had been together since she was a teen.
She had moved into her own apartment during her senior year of high school.
She still spent a lot of time at home, but having her own place gave her a refuge when she needed space.
She met him at her job.
Before you know it, they were spending most of their time together, usually at her apartment.
Almost straight from her mom's house to his arms.

They were wed in 2004.

Today, I learned that he has been emotionally separated from her for the past two years.
The new house they were renting had a large den that he claimed as his own, spending much of his time there.
He even slept there most of the time.
Last winter, when the baby boy they had been fostering went home to his birth mom, her husband literally collapsed on the floor.
He had given his heart, and lost it, to another child they had only borrowed.
The preteen boy still in the house was difficult to nurture and impossible to love.
But she and he had continued to deal with the boy until almost the end of the year.
I say "she and he", but mostly it was her husband left at home with the boy while she worked increasingly long hours at Tybee Beach.

I was shocked when she told me her now-ex had been sleeping in the den the past two years. As I told her, he must have been mentally divorced from her for quite some time.
That's why it seemed that he had moved so quickly out of their life and into his own.

She and he were only separated for two months before Tinder came into her life.
I am very concerned about this being a rebound affair.
I am very concerned about this leading to more emotional hurt for her.
But I have to accept that she is a grown woman.
She has the right to make her own decisions.
And I have the the responsibility to support her in her decisions.
Especially when I am very concerned.

For now, I am taking a nap.
Dealing with the sadness of the world wears me out.

Still, I am glad I was able to be there for her in court.
I know how much I would have liked to have had someone with me, back on December 21, 2007.

i thank You, God, for allowing me to help her.